Halloween is a time for candy. No matter what you do the rest of the year, how healthy you eat and what diet you follow, Halloween is the day you eat peanut butter cups, jawbreakers, and candy corn. But kids often get treats in their bag that just make them scratch their heads. Here are the ones I remember from my childhood.

1. Apples and bananas. Seriously, I don't want fruit in my bag. What is this, Halloween or a dental convention? Giving fruit to kids on Halloween just screams "I forgot to buy candy and I had this lying around."

If, for some reason, you aren't familiar with the practice of giving candy out to costumed children on Halloween, you might want to take a look at the guide put together by Stuff Magazine explaining the best and worst things to give out. Eager trick or treaters look forward to participating in the ritual every year and we wouldn't want to disappoint them. The worst "treats" include:

• Apples -- They're tasty, but they're not candy. They're "disappointing as hell for a little kid expecting a Snickers."
• Marshmallows -- Yes, they're candy, but they don't usually come individually wrapped -- a must for Halloween treats.
• A bag of pennies -- "It's like giving away a gift certificate for a piece of gum." Save up all those pennies and buy a bag of the real thing.
• Smarties -- The U.S. Smarties are chalky and kids don't even seem to enjoy them, despite the fact that they sometimes eat them on the grounds that they still constitute candy. Try to get U.K. Smarties (similar to M&M's) or avoid the candy mixes that include these.
• Anything homemade -- "This one is alright if you only give them to kids with neglectful parents." Any responsible parent is going to dump something unwrapped as fast as possible. Save your energy.
• Raisins -- "People generally give them out under the pretense that they want to make kids healthier. In reality, they give them out because they hate fun." The boxed raisins never taste all that fresh anyway.

The best options would include "anything made by a real candy company," preferably king-sized versions.

After all, any resulting cavities aren't going to end up on your dental bill.

[Thanks, Patrick]