"waitressing" news and stories

Good servers are constantly questioning their guests: Would you like a cocktail before dinner? Is your steak cooked correctly? Are you considering dessert this evening?

But restaurant etiquette dictates that the questions stop as soon as the check's dropped. No matter how lousy the tip, servers aren't supposed to ask their guests whether they could have done anything to make their experience better – even if the phrasing's exceedingly polite.

Staying mum isn't easy, especially since servers are trained to make sure their guests are happy. A poor tip doesn't seem too different from a restaurant goer yelping, "I'm having a terrible time!", a cry no capable server would ignore.

Eating isn't the only thing people do in restaurants.

While seated at table, customers fight. They have sex. They sign contracts. And, sometimes, customers die.

At the busy restaurant where I work, we've had at least three customers suffer fatal heart attacks after their meals. That's not the restaurant's fault, of course, but it's always a strange situation for the server, who's stuck with a section full of traumatized diners and the knowledge that she served the victim his last-ever plate of lobster risotto.

Restaurant servers aren't shy about profiling.

Even the most open-minded servers tend to buy into politically incorrect theories of customer behavior that hinge on race and gender. I've worked with women who buy nutritional yeast in bulk, slap "Free Mumia" stickers on their biodiesel-fueled cars and refuse to wait on all-female tables.

But a new study suggests tipping's linked to yet another core identity, one I've never heard discussed in any wait station. According to HCD Research, Democrats are reliably better tippers than Republicans.

Democrats are two percent more generous when receiving bad service, leaving an average 10.8 percent to Republicans' 8.7 percent. That stat might be dismissed as evidence of liberals' bleeding hearts, except that the phenomenon repeated itself on the good service end of the spectrum: Satisfied Dems tipped 20 percent, while the average G.O.P'er tacked 18 percent onto his bill.

Independents were the worst tippers, leaving just under 18 percent when pleased with their service.

Restaurant servers read academic studies of customer behavior with the enthusiasm of graduate students (which, of course, they often are.) That's because we're always eager to adopt a new technique that's guaranteed to produce bigger tips, whether it's putting a flower in our hair or using our guests' names.

But a new study out of three universities in the U.S. and Canada is unlikely to provoke much response from even the most scientifically-minded servers. According to the research, restaurant goers who are monitoring their waistlines will order more food from fat waitresses. The study suggests the best way to up a check total – and accompanying tip – is to put on weight.

When you go out to eat, do you ever wonder what the waitressing world is like behind the scenes?

There is a new food documentary making the festival rounds called "Dish: Women, Waitressing & The Art of Service." Filmed by documentarian Maya Gallus, the doc looks into life for women in the service industry. Traveling between Toronto, Montreal, Paris, and Tokyo, the film investigates how waitressing changes (or doesn't) from country to country, and what customers expect when a woman walks up and asks for your order. Hint: it's a heck of a lot more than prompt service with a smile.

While Hanna Raskin's column "What Can I Get You Folks?" looks into the opinions of one server, "Dish" turns the focus more on the industry and patrons, revealing a massively diverse collection of experiences. But they all share one striking similarity: As much as we like to think of restaurants as welcoming places that cook the food for us, there's a whole undercurrent of struggle and performance that goes well beyond crazy customers wanting their tea made with boiled Evian or their fruit salad sautéed (sadly, both are real examples).