Confused, Natalie? Photo: Bravo.
Maybe it's that the talented and reliable Jen is off her game, or that the universally derided Robin is still around or that the twerpy Eli can actually put together an interesting plate of food for once. In any event, Wednesday night's episode felt like a detour into a "Top Chef" bizarro-world, where up is down, left is right and nobody knows anything anymore. Well, almost anything: Robin still sucks, Michael V. is still a cocky jerk and Kevin is still the model of modest brilliance.
Rattling off the random highlights of the episode sounds as scattered as Robin's cooking philosophy: Dirty jokes! Vegetarianism! Natalie Portman! No Toby Young! A Quickfire challenge that revealed itself to be a desperate marketing ploy! Make that two marketing ploys! In fact, Portman's description of one dish neatly summed up the entire episode: "It makes me smile and laugh -- and I'm confused!"

Last weekend, my family and I visited Portland. This
added a new twist to my vegan challenge: how was I going find tasty things to eat in airports and hotels? Because I was
traveling with my children, I didn't have the luxury of scouting out the hottest vegan restaurants in Portland. I
had to be able to eat where my kids ate. Thank goodness for Gardenburgers. I ate a lot of them this past
weekend.
Heading into week two of my 









