"topcheflasvegas" news and stories

Jen, quit hating on yourself! Robin, what weird technique are you attempting now? Eli, get a clue! Was it just us, or was last night's "Top Chef" one of the most unexpectedly emotional, perversely suspenseful, scream-at-the-screen entertaining episodes in weeks?

By all indications, it shouldn't have been a standout night. Were there big surprises? No. Did the show's editors play up the usual themes -- "I miss my kids/significant other," "people misunderstand me as a chef," "this show will make or break what little reputation I have"? Of course. Are all the chefs who remain all equally deserving of the "Top Chef" title? Not at all.

Still, the show had a weird cumulative power, in large part because we've gotten to the point where we've invested a lot of time and faith into this motley crew. They may be burnt out by the sweltering Vegas sun and the even-more-searing comments of the judges, but we're not ready to see them throw in their aprons. So when Jen grumbled "I'm ready to go" before she was even called to the loser's circle, we wanted to stage a self-esteem intervention, stat.

Photo: Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

If you were betting on Vegas for the season finale of "Top Chef Las Vegas," you've lost.

The finale of the show will be filmed in Napa, Bravo officials said Monday.

Be sure to check out Slashfood's latest recap of the series here.

At this point in the usual "Top Chef" season trajectory, you might expect a certain focus and discipline that naturally comes with narrowing the playing field down to seven ambitious young chefs, each working at the top of his or her game. This year, however, is another story.

Maybe it's that the talented and reliable Jen is off her game, or that the universally derided Robin is still around or that the twerpy Eli can actually put together an interesting plate of food for once. In any event, Wednesday night's episode felt like a detour into a "Top Chef" bizarro-world, where up is down, left is right and nobody knows anything anymore. Well, almost anything: Robin still sucks, Michael V. is still a cocky jerk and Kevin is still the model of modest brilliance.

Rattling off the random highlights of the episode sounds as scattered as Robin's cooking philosophy: Dirty jokes! Vegetarianism! Natalie Portman! No Toby Young! A Quickfire challenge that revealed itself to be a desperate marketing ploy! Make that two marketing ploys! In fact, Portman's description of one dish neatly summed up the entire episode: "It makes me smile and laugh -- and I'm confused!"

If you're like us, you've been waiting all season for the ultimate knock-down, drag-out Voltaggio brothers showdown on "Top Chef Vegas." Ah, the boys next door we love to hate, with their cutting comments, their undermining of each other's abilities, their constant bickering. ... We're not sure what dinner was like in their house growing up, but no doubt it involved lots of flinging of peas and acting out, followed by long, unbearable silences.

You can even see it in their food: Robotic big-bro Bryan and his classically flavored, cooked-to-perfection entrees; sneering bad-boy/skate-punk Michael and his crazy textures, flamboyant technique and exotic flavor profiles. It may be a few episodes too early to say it, but last night -- on the occasion of "Top Chef"'s customary restaurant wars challenge -- we finally saw the their sibling hatred in full effect.

Robin, the despised? Photo: Bravo.

Since the very beginning of "Top Chef Vegas" -- when she sheepishly chose immunity over a prize in a quickfire challenge -- the spazzy, chatty 40-something firebrand with the Kool-Aid hair has been courting the hatred of just about every mammal on the show, including the dead ones she's overcooked in the kitchen.

Even the cameramen seem to be joining in the slander. Each week, her pancake makeup looks a little worse, her puttering around the house more aimless, her early morning pilates routine more ridiculous. If you're looking for someone to teach you the doggy paddle on your front lawn, Robin's your girl.

Call it ageist, call it sexist, call it discrimination against the uniquely untalented, but certainly the bile and vitriol directed her way are disproportionate to her overall annoyance factor -- or are they? This week, the show's editors played up the Eli-vs.-Robin smackdown, wherein the elder stateswoman of "Top Chef" had the gall to suggest a nice serving platter for the Weeble-like Eli's scallops.

"You're not my mom," the snotty 25-year-old shouted, just after reminding us that he still lives with his mom and dad -- and is quite happy with the arrangement, thank you.