"tall" news and stories

That's the claim by an anonymous Starbucks barista in a rant posted over at Jim Romenesko's Starbuck's Gossip Blog. It was originally posted on the Chicago Craigslist, but was removed.

While the barista really isn't saying anything new here, it's actually a good one-stop summary for everyone who doesn't like the coffee shop chain, and a funny, revealing rant for people who do like the chain. A few tidbits from the article after the jump!

You know how Starbucks (and other coffee shops, pizza places and other food outlets) ask for your name when you order? Do you give them a real name or do you make one up?

Giving fake names seems to be a growing trend, especially at the coffee giant's many outlets. Instead of giving their real name, people are being pretty darn creative: Frankenstein, Ben Affleck, Bartholomew, even Darth Vader and Chewbacca have all been given as names from customers. Some girls go by the name "Bob" (hey!), and one man just goes by "The Man."

I usually give my real name at places like this, mainly because I don't want any screw up in my order, especially if they're busy. Though I do admit that one time at a restaurant I used the name "Larry Tate." That's Darrin's boss on Bewitched.

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I'm addicted to tea, but I've never had any interest in visiting all of the tea shops that I can. But this guy is trying to visit every single Starbucks in the country. So far, he's spent $30,000 on his mission. (And that's just at the first Starbuck's he went to - ba-doom-boom! thank you, I'm here all week!)

He has some rules: he has to consume at least 4 ounces (he gets a lot of free samples), it must be caffeinated, and he will never stop, even if he goes broke. He has worn a Starbucks shirt every single day since October 2001.

I like how the first question explains to him that there are 40 new Starbucks shops opening every single day (though that number is in dispute, it might be less). At that rate, he'll visit his last one around the twelfth of never.

You can visit Winter's website at starbuckseverywhere.net.

Over at Jim Romenesko's great Starbucks Gossip Blog, he points to an atricle in the Detroit Press that discloses that Detroit, MI only has five Starbucks shops. That's low for a big city I guess, and the article and many reader comments talk about how it might be because of crime in the city.

But the big news for me isn't that Detroit has only 5, it's that the city of San Jose, CA, has 46 Starbucks. 46! Wow, they really are everywhere, aren't they. I think David Letterman had a joke once where he said that a Starbucks had just opened in his pants. That was a while ago, so I should call CBS and see if it's opened yet.

I'm not sure if there should be 46 of anything in one city, except maybe schools.

I have always wondered why people have problems saying the drink names at Starbucks. I'm not just speaking about the sizes, Tall, Grande and Venti, either. I'm talking about words like "latte." I notice men actually mispronounce the words on purpose. They will plaster a big grin on their face and, sarcastically, say something like "I'll have a 'grand kap-po-see-no.'" I kid you not - and when you come into a Starbucks every single morning, you will learn, at some point, the proper pronunciation of the names. How hard is it to say 'grahn-day,' really.

I generally chalked it up to some sort of testosterone-based insecurity because women almost never do this; the fear of saying a word incorrectly by chance was so great that these men preferred to grossly mispronounce the words on purpose. The question is: why be insecure?