"simpsons" news and stories

Homer Simpson longs for beer. Photo: rodricg, Flickr

Homer Simpson (OK, a human in Homer duds) will cut the ceremonial opening ribbon at this year's Great American Beer Festival, event founder Charlie Papazian revealed on his blog this week. "Giving Homer Simpson a pair of scissors at a beer festival is pretty risky," Papazian quipped, "but it might be worth the risk if we can teach him a bit about respecting beer."

Can Homer learn to "respect" beer? He's spent 20 years drinking Duff, Springfield's fictional Budweiser-esque macro equivalent, in quantities a live-action human would consider excessive. For years though, the GABF -- which takes places in Denver this September -- has served to introduce new stateside brews to folks from all over the world. As appreciation for craft brewing has grown in recent years, so has festival attendance. Part of that growth must come from people who previously preferred big-time brands. Maybe Homer will be the next convert?

Just as long as he doesn't get stuck drinking Fudd (the rival beer drunk by denizens of neighboring Shelbyville)!

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Leave it to The Simpsons to accurately predict the future. Remember the episode where Homer and Bart suck the grease from Springfield Elementary's cafeteria to try and turn a profit, but the vacuum explodes and the kids wind up playing "snowball fight" with grease balls?

Well, that scene is now a reality. Okay, not the part about the grease fight - but pretty much everything else.

As the demand for biofuel rises, thieves making to look a quick buck are stealing the "yellow grease" leftover from restaurants that cook their food in veggie fat. Like Homer Simpson, they suck up the substance with vacuums, and can get a few thousand dollars from about 5,000 gallons (grease has shot up to 32 cents a pound).

It's not a job for the dainty thieves: Christian Science Monitor writer Ben Arnoldy describes the smell of a grease rendering plant as "like a combination between a fast food restaurant and a butcher shop, where maybe the meat's gone bad."

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How could I let Steak Day go by without mentioning "High Steaks"? This is the episode of 1950s cat-and-mouse cartoon Tom and Jerry that was clearly the inspiration for "Itchy & Scratchy," the violent cartoons Bart and Lisa are perenially watching on The Simpsons.

In short, Tom's owner is grilling steaks, and through a series of hijinks, Jerry manages to inflict a series of painful steak-related punishments upon Tom including:

• Tom's head placed in a grilling basket
• Tom's tail jammed into the grill
• Tom tied, post-barbecue, to the bumper of a passing car and dragged off

The episode ends with Jerry enjoying a juicy ribeye. Tasty!