In case you haven't figured it out yet, we have a strange love-hate-love-hate-hate-hate relationship with the Femme Faux-tale of the Food Network, Sandra Lee. On the one hand, the blonde, bubble-headed Barbie doll of a woman whose body couldn't possibly absorb a single molecule of the fat and calorie-laden "food" she "cooks" in front of the camera is everything we as food lovers would hate. Buy everything, and fake like you made it. On the other hand, who doesn't love a woman who matches her quilted headband to her JV-cheerleader-tight deep V-neck sweater to her apron to her kitchen tiles and appliances?!?! And when she goes all pink, you know she means business.

Now, we have to admit that it's been a very long time since we've sworn off the Food Network, so we haven't seen the semi-homemade siren since she dressed herself up as a semi-ho fairy Godmother for a Halloween special two years ago, but we suspect that she, like most other personalities, contributed in some way to the Network's Thanksgiving with her semi-homemade recipes and advice. However, we here at Slashfood wonder why? Why only go halfway? Why only go semi-homemade? It sounds like a cop-out. Why not go that extra mile, all the way, and go nothing homemade for Thanksgiving?

We give you Sarah (Lee)'s Nothing Homemade Thanksgiving, because yes, that's how we do when we're on the edge of a tryptophan-induced food coma:

"Some women, it is said, like to cook. This book is not for them."

If you have any interest at all in cooking or history, you must get your hands on a copy of Peg Bracken's I Hate To Cook Book. Published in 1960, Peg Bracken was the forerunner to women like Sandra Lee, taking a semi-homemade approach to things that she felt obligated to do, like cooking for her husband. Peg's strategy was to get away from the stove and onto another cocktail as quickly as possibly. Her writing is clever and witty, downright hilarious at times. Even without considering that it is a cookbook, it makes a great read.

Every year I seem to end up with a bunch of calendars that I don't want, but am forced to use because by the time I get around to shopping for a nicer one, all the stores are sold out. This year, I turned to the internet to find some good foodie options so we can all avoid looking at "More Lighthouses of Maine" or "The OC 2006" for the next 365 days. Not that there's anything wrong with lighthouses, of course, but we can do better.

• Coffee 2006 has great shots of hot drinks in cafes and beans ready for processing.
• Chocolate 2006 Mini Calendar includes interesting facts and quotes about chocolate and the pages are chocolate scented!
• Dog Food Play with Your Food has surprisingly realistic (and adorable) animals made out of vegetables, like cauliflower poodles and strawberry puppies. Also available in mini size.
• The Wine Lover's Daily Calendar is packed with daily wine tips, tastings and trivia, as well as including helpful pairing suggestions.
• The Joy of Cooking Daily Calendar features recipes as well as information on what is in season and cooking techniques. 
• Food Network All Star 2006 Calendar and Cookbook Set includes a wall calendar tribute to New Orleans and a book with the network chefs' favorite recipes. A portion of the proceeds for both the book and the calendar go to charity. 
• And be sure not to miss out on Sandra Lee's Semi Homemade Daily Calendar. Since Slashfoodies are such fans of her work.

If you want to make something that tastes exactly like store-bought eggnog, but still have the thrill of “cooking” at home, this is the recipe for you. It combines store bought ingredients for a traditional holiday drink. Make sure to work lots of cream-colors into your tablescape so the drink is color-coordinated with your décor.

Semi Homemade Eggnog

1 gallon vanilla ice cream, melted

2 tsp nutmeg

1 cup bourbon

Mix ice cream, nutmeg and bourbon together in a large pitcher. Chill.

Serves 8

[Photo By Nicole Weston]