Ah, the lunch lady. That classic American worker who stands behind the counter in the school cafeteria and spoons out the sloppy joes and the mystery soups. Actually, I liked school lunches when I was a kid. Not everything, but the pizza was always good, I liked the hamburgers (even if they were a little gray), and I absolutely loved the fluffy, pink dessert they used to serve. What the hell was that stuff anyway?

Archie McPhee is selling a Lunch Lady Action Figure! Comes complete with not only a counter, but removable food stick-ons so you can change what type of food she's serving. She looks exactly like a woman who used to serve food in my school cafeteria. Though I don't remember that woman's arms being so muscular and mechanical.

Mind control over our juveniles as the UK government considers giving food supplements to pupils in England in an effort to improve behaviour and performance. It is true; it is on the BBC so it must be.

OK, so at the moment it is not quite as Big Brother as it would seem. No heavy sedatives to numb the rowdy into submission for example, but there is a report due from the Food Standards Agency about the effects of diet on behavior. This will include such things as Omega-3 and -6 oils that could boost learning ability. Several schools are already experimenting with trials that look into the effects of diet, exercise, control of sugar intake and the like. Studies on the Omega-3 and -6 supplements have received mixed results.

Food in elementary schools has been quite the hot topic lately, with questions about nutrition in school lunches, and even the proposed legislation to ban all "bad" snacks from school grounds. This week in a conference in New York, the Executive Director of food for the city's schools presented apples slices packaged in plastic bags. He said they were the school's effort at making food healthier.

However, the apples are meant to have a long shelf-life in the bags, so they are injected with a preservative. Additionally, the apples come in plastic packages, which have to be disposed of, that have images of bagged apples on trees. Bagged apples don't grow on trees. 

Whatever happened to the idea that maybe school children could just eat...an apple?

We've already seen action at the individual school level to ban unhealthy foods from school campuses. However, a bi-partisan group is now taking it to a nation-wide level by introducing legislation that would prohibit the sale of fatty, sugary foods like French fries and sodas in schools, not just in the cafeterias, but anywhere on the school grounds, which includes, vending machines, school stores, and even fund raising events.

Currently, the schools set a minimum nutrition standard on foods - that they must have at least 5% of the US RDA of certain proteins, vitamins, and minerals - which allows things like cookies, chips, French fries and doughnuts to be sold. The new bill, instead, would have much a much stricter list of "banned foods" based on whether they promote obesity and chronic illnesses. 

I wonder if Girl Scout cookies would be banned.

[photo: New York Times]