In this week's Modern Love column in the New York Times, Suzanne Finnamore writes about how she and her husband fell in love - and out of love - over the course of many sumptuous homemade meals.

She seduces him by delivering tubs of her cabbage and rice soup with Gruyere croutons to his office. Even when she didn't have time to cook, would pass off fancy takeout as her own creations. He debones chickens for her, and brings her coffee and pastries in bed. Love. Sigh.

But before too long they're eating hurried family dinners, using bottle salad dressing (oh horrors!) and pre-cut chicken parts. By the end they're each eating Thai takeout alone over the computer and fighting over who gets to go to the store for more butter and who has to stay home with the baby. He whines about the ratio of vermouth to vodka in the martinis she still fixes for him. She stops buying his favorite cheese. Divorce. The End.

Ignoring the rather desperate-seeming act of bringing a new boyfriend soup at work, and the bald fakery of pretending you made the deli takeout, it's kind of a cute article. Kind of. I'm not quite sure if the author is trying to show that bad food helped end the relationship (surely even the most gourmet of busy new parents resort to quick frozen chicken dinners) or that bad food was simply a sign that neither of them cared anymore.

Have you ever gone over the top trying to seduce someone with your culinary skills? What kind of dishes did you make? Did you regret not being able to keep up the high level cookery after your relationship settled into a routine? Or do you and your significant other still enjoy osso bucco and chocolate-hazelnut tarts every Saturday night?

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. It's the holiday dedicated to love and all things romance. The stores are full of flowers, cards...and chocolate! While there is good chocolate to be had from the store, wouldn't it be nice to present your sweetie with something more from the heart, something homemade?

It's really not difficult. It takes a little time and a little bit of patience. It also takes some good quality chocolate and a candy mold. If you have these things, you too can make can make some home made chocolate treats for your special someone.

I am going to guide you through the process step by step. We'll talk about candy molds, chocolate qualities and how to temper it, as well as some fillings and some ways to finish the candies. It's a fun project and a nice thing to surprise your baby with. Click the hearts to keep reading in order to find out all about making your own confectionary masterpiece.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, my least favorite holiday (if you can call a day created by greeting card companies a "holiday"). And it's not just because I don't have a honey to share it with. I've always hated it.

But I do know that you're supposed to take a bath or a shower that day. Well, you should take a bath or shower every day, but on Valentine's Day in particular you don't want to smell. Don't take an ordinary bath though, take a chocolate bath. A hot springs spa/resort in Japan offers such a bath. The water in the tub is mixed with cacao and fragrance, then liquid chocolate is poured over the people in the tub.

But I'm confused by the picture. If this is for Valentine's Day, I assume it's for couples. What's with all the people in the tub? Is this the family version?

Related:

Yunessun Spa for food lovers

With only a few days left until Valentine's, we thought that it would be fun to take a look at the role that food can play in our relationships with a little series leading into February 14th. Only one day left in the countdown, now!

If you're looking for a recipe for romance, are you more likely to plan for dinner at home, or to make a reservation at your favorite romantic restaurant? There are advantages and disadvantages to both options. Eating at home will give you control over the food and the atmosphere, both of which can be tailored to your, or your significant other's, tastes. The drawbacks are that you have to do all of the prep work yourself, as well as the cleanup, and you're limited by what you have to work with, which could mean mismatched serving pieces and no espresso after dinner.

In a restaurant, you won't get the kind of privacy that you can enjoy at home and you are limited in your menu options - especially on Valentine's Day when many places offer prix fixe dinners. On the positive side, you are free to focus all of your attention on your dining partner, rather than on cooking and cleanup.

Restaurants are a done deal, but if you do decide to dine in, there are a couple of alternatives to you doing all the cooking and serving. For example, you could consider hiring a personal chef to work for the night, effectively bringing the restaurant home. Alternatively, you could cook with your partner, which will keep you together, engaged and making a very special meal.

Krispy Kreme is getting into the pink for Valentine's Day. The ever-popular doughnut shop is planning on having a few special offers to celebrate the season of romance. For customers who purchase a dozen doughnuts of any kind between now and Valentine's day, every store will give out a dozen Valentine's Day cards, each of which will contain a coupon for one free doughnut. It will be tough to part with the prospect of free doughnuts if you're a fan of the classic hot glazed, but just think of how appreciative your Valentine's will be!

Stores will also be frying up their light, yeast-raised doughnuts in heart shapes, coating them with white icing and red, white, and pink sprinkles. They're not quite up to the same level of cuteness as the Halloween doughnuts that Krispy Kreme featured back in October, but it's hard to say no to a doughnut with sprinkles

And on February 14th, stores will be making their regular glazed doughnuts in heart shapes, as well.

I've been sick with a cold, and it's Valentine's Day, and so what? I've had this cold so long I'm sick of writing about remedies. I want to address some things that many have come to me about, mainly, the secrets of getting a nice dinner squeezed into life between the time you go out after work to have a few drinks or go to a party and the time you go home and go to bed.

We all know the feeling of being out on a Valentine's Day date for a few drinks, and you start to get dizzy, and the hunger is affecting your ability to be glib. You are even starting to get angry, but mentioning food on the first date of "let's meet for coffee/a drink" seems so terribly vulgar. 

This is the age of the anorexic, when needing to eat all the time is a sign of weakness. There is nothing wrong with going out to eat of course, but being the one who suggests it, right before you pass out from hunger even though you've just had three bowls of popcorn at the bar, that's not cool. Nor is saying "Hope you don't mind if I go ahead and order something," and then trying to look sexy while scarfing down a giant cheeseburger, your eyes bulging out of your head as you try and fit a bite into your mouth.

Heart-shaped cake pans are great for Valentine's Day. After all, anything shaped as a heart - cakes, cookies, mashed potatoes - is automatically perceived as romantic being romantic. The problem with heart-shaped bakeware is that it isn't terribly practical. You have to store it and probably will not be using it nearly as much as more traditional square and round pans. But Reynold's has come out with a line of shaped aluminum mini cake pans. Usethe Fun Shapes pans to bake heart-shaped mini cakes and then simply throw out the tin as you would with an ordinary cupcake wrapper. The company recently started marketing these, but plans to put them out for most holidays. I paid $1.49 for this pack of 24 at my local grocery store.

[Photo by Nicole Weston]

 

Despite my infatuation with spectacularly prepared and expensive restaurant meals, I think I find more romance in the best of my home-made meals, or bits of fabulously good food eaten simply on the cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

4. I was very pregnant for our last wedding anniversary - I ended up going into labor the next morning, in fact. But I bought good steak, mushrooms, greens and potatoes, and made my very favorite dessert: a nearly-flourless french chocolate cake. I chopped and melted chocolate, I whisked, I baked, I sauteed and mixed balsamic vinegar for the dressing, all in my most comfortable maternity clothes. I drank a little Spanish wine for the occasion and we toasted to our growing family on our living room couch.

3. I can't remember the wine I selected for the evening but it was surely Spanish, and pink, a rioja I think. My husband stopped at our favorite gourmet market and bought blue cheese, olives, pepperoni. I had organic grape tomatoes, porcini mushrooms and baby artichokes from the farmer's market. I sauteed the mushrooms in lots of butter and prepared a gigantic platter of tapas. The boys fell asleep and we sat on the back porch, eating with our fingers and sipping pink wine under the summer moon.

I firmly believe that artichokes are one of the most romantic dishes you can serve up. And if your relationship is anything like mine, your sweetheart is a little - or even a lot - afraid of the prickly armored artichoke. There's something that seems magic about peeling it, leaf by leaf, until you expose its delicious heart. And there's unspeakable romance in the slowness of it all. The best things, if you  remember, come to those who wait.

Artichokes are so easy, though, anyone can make them (even if you are the culinary scaredy-cat in your relationship). I chop off the stem about one or 1/2 inch from the base of the choke and then peel off any leaves that are very discolored, teensy, or tough. If you're into the presentation, you can use a big strong serrated knife to cut through the top 1/4 or so of the artichoke, there you go, just slice it all off! Stick several (I like three or four medium-sized artichokes for the two of us - it's no good to be left wanting) in a large pan of boiling water and cook for 15-20 minutes, until you can easily pull a bottom leaf off.

My husband likes the leaves with mayonnaise but I eat them with melted butter and lemon juice (lots of salt) or, for a pink garlicky treat, romesco sauce.

What is the most romantic place you've ever eaten? My number one romantic food memory was sans sweetheart, in a centuries-old hunting lodge in Varese, Italy. It was my friend Aliza's wedding reception, and my dinner companions were an assortment of PhDs, older couples and the other single women who'd travelled to Italy for the occasion. Naked, Rubenesque women frolicked on the ceilings and the warm summer air wafted through the great halls. We ate fried sage leaves and gnocchi with a gorgonzola cream sauce and veal and two desserts and afterward danced with shy Italian men in the ancient stone courtyard. Everything smelled of honeysuckle and everyone drank good, good wine and thought of nothing but love.

Over the next week, each of our writers will be counting down their favorite places to combine love and food, whether it be a mountaintop and homemade trail mix or a restaurant that only serves tasting menus. Maybe it will inspire your plans for this Valentine's Day with your sweetheart, or maybe it will inspire you to find Mr. or Ms. Good Enough To Take There. What are your most romantic places?

If you're looking for a love potion on Valentine's Day, finding one could be a challenge. After all, so many people have different tastes. Your Valentine might prefer fruity drinks, while mine might want something truly exotic. Unless you happen to know a gypsy called Madame Rue, Love Potion Number 9 is best left to The Searchers. Alcohol is probably the next best thing and Star Chefs has accumulated a collection of love potion cocktails from the best restaurants in the country.  Slashfood's favorite potions from the list include:

• Sex and Honey, from Fat Fish in West Hollywood, CA
• Sweetheart Cocktail, from Flatiron Lounge in New York, NY
• Gingersnap, from Tabla in New York, NY
• White Chocolate Martini, from Pravda in New York, NY
• Black Cat Love Potion, from Black Cat in San Francisco, CA

On Valentine's Day, more than 30% of all Americans will eat at a restaurant, making it the second most popular holiday for dining out, after Mother's Day. When numbers are broken down by age, it is not surprising to see that for people between the ages of 25 and 34, the numbers are much higher, with 41% of people dining at a restaurant on February 14. The highest numbers are among the 18-24 year olds, with 47% percent heading out to eat. Those who dine out will spend an average of $62 dollars on dinner, while possibly spending more on gifts such as chocolates and flowers. OpenTable.com is a great way to check for reservations are some of your favorite restaurants across the country and the world.

Though dining out can be fun and romantic, for some lovebirds there is nothing as romantic as a home-cooked meal shared across a table for two. Cooking together or cooking for a loved one can be a more romantic and thoughtful gift than a box of chocolates, for those who enjoy cooking.

Long-stemmed roses. Belgian chocolates. Foie gras. Champagne and caviar.  Does your sweetie say, "Been there, done that," to all of the above? Then, this Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to wow them with a gift that's a bit more thoughtful, Pickle of the Month.

Now, if I were one of the founders of this Web site I'd be beating the seasonal marketing drum loudly. A four-month subscription that includes all of Van Holten's Pickle-in-a-Pouch characters — is there anything quite as romantic? Sadly they seem to have missed the boat. So, it's up me to praise the virtue of this wonderful gift. It would take a guy with a heart of stone not to fall in love all over again when he gets Big Papa, aka the Portly Pickle from his love.  And what gal wouldn't go weak at the knees when her man presents her with Van Holten's Hot Mama.

If the sheer romance of Van Holten's pickles isn't enough, consider that they don't need refrigeration and have a two-year shelf life. As for me I'm getting my sweetie the same thing I get her every year, a nice big jar of rollmops.

It may seem a bit early right now, but Valentine's Day is just around the corner and there is scarcely a moment to waste. If you are planning to cook for your sweetheart this year, you should really make sure your kitchen is properly outfitted for the task. What could be more romantic than heart-shaped cookware?

• A heart shaped tea kettle is a charming addition to the breakfast table or to serve tea with an afternoon snack.
• A heart-shaped Le Creuset casserole makes a beautiful cooking and serving dish.
• Heart-shaped pot holders will keep your hands safe and cool while you are cooking.
• Heart-shaped mini Belgian waffles are easy with this specially-shaped waffle iron, and just the thing for a romantic breakfast in bed.
• My favorite, however, is easily the heart-shaped fondue pot. Chocolate is a Valentine's Day necessity and few things are as romantic or fun to eat as fondue.