"relationships" news and stories

My husband and I have similar tastes in many things like music, decor, 19th century English literature, mayonnaise brands, etc. It makes for pretty smooth sailing day to day, but there are a few notable exceptions -- namely that if given a jar and a fork, I'll gobble down marinated herring like a rabid porpoise, and the very sight of cured fish sends him swimming as far upstream as he can get.

In the interest of marital accord, I hold off my pesce-centric binges for times when he's out of town or at his office on a weekend, and I was very amused to learn that other friends of mine make the same sort of bargains with their partners. One friend has a similar anchovy pact with her husband, another's wife goes into a broccoli rabe munching frenzy when he's away for a day or two, and my very own grandfather acquiesced to my grandmother's wishes that he only eat Limburger outside of the house. His compromise? He set up a cheese-eating outpost in their backyard.

Do any of you have culinary agreements with a partner, family member or roommate due to their repulsion or yours? Are there any foods that trump the bonds of love or friendship? Share 'em in the comments below.

More on Guilty Displeasures

In this week's Modern Love column in the New York Times, Suzanne Finnamore writes about how she and her husband fell in love - and out of love - over the course of many sumptuous homemade meals.

She seduces him by delivering tubs of her cabbage and rice soup with Gruyere croutons to his office. Even when she didn't have time to cook, would pass off fancy takeout as her own creations. He debones chickens for her, and brings her coffee and pastries in bed. Love. Sigh.

But before too long they're eating hurried family dinners, using bottle salad dressing (oh horrors!) and pre-cut chicken parts. By the end they're each eating Thai takeout alone over the computer and fighting over who gets to go to the store for more butter and who has to stay home with the baby. He whines about the ratio of vermouth to vodka in the martinis she still fixes for him. She stops buying his favorite cheese. Divorce. The End.

Ignoring the rather desperate-seeming act of bringing a new boyfriend soup at work, and the bald fakery of pretending you made the deli takeout, it's kind of a cute article. Kind of. I'm not quite sure if the author is trying to show that bad food helped end the relationship (surely even the most gourmet of busy new parents resort to quick frozen chicken dinners) or that bad food was simply a sign that neither of them cared anymore.

Have you ever gone over the top trying to seduce someone with your culinary skills? What kind of dishes did you make? Did you regret not being able to keep up the high level cookery after your relationship settled into a routine? Or do you and your significant other still enjoy osso bucco and chocolate-hazelnut tarts every Saturday night?

An article in today's New York Times Dining and Wine section addresses the question of differing diets in relationships (just in time for Valentine's Day!). The piece opens with a vignette from Shauna James Ahern (aka the Gluten-Free Girl) about a man she dated before she met her husband, who ended things because he loved bread too much and she was unable to eat it. The article then moves on to tell stories of other relationships that ended because of diet differences, before giving examples of people who've been able to overcome their mixed menu situations (including Philly based Urban Vegan aka Dynise Balcavage).

I admit that I would struggle being in a relationship with someone who's eating style differed drastically from mine but I admire the people who are willing to be flexible and able to make it work.

How about you, Slashfood readers? Are you willing to be in a relationship with someone who eats a substantially different diet from the one you follow?

Source

With only a few days left until Valentine's, we thought that it would be fun to take a look at the role that food can play in our relationships with a little mini series leading into February 14th.

While we may not think about food all the time, it is a huge part of our daily lives. If we're not eating, we might be planning for the next meal or looking at restaurant reviews online, trying to decide where to eat over the weekend. Our own food preferences are usually at the forefront of our minds as we think about these things. We judge what sounds appealing to us, what menu items are tempting.

It isn't until another person is introduced into the equation that we run into problems. Most of the time, this isn't a big deal. Restaurants offer large menus and most people eat a wide variety of foods, but when your date has a very restrictive diet - vegan, macrobiotic, only purple foods - it can really through a kink into your plans. Have you ever dated someone with a really restrictive diet? How did you work around it or did it turn out to be a dealbreaker?

Pizza?!?! He's taking you out to grab a slice of pizza?!?! Forget it. What kind of cheapskate/Peter Pan/unimaginative guy is he!??! Drop him!

Don't pretend like you haven't done it before -- judged a guy (or girl) before you've even met, based on where they want to go on the first date. Fancy expensive reservations-30-days-in-advance-only and you're impressed, right? KFC drive-thru and...well, you get the picture.

Though they don't have an opinion about pizza, AOL has put together a short feature about what his restaurant/cuisine choice could say about him. If you don't have the time to read through it, here's the lowdown:

• Tapas - "don't expect a commitment from this professional dabbler anytime soon"
• Seafood - "it's nice to spend time with somebody who believes money is no object, but if he never lets you forget it..."
• Pancake house - "a guy who knows what he wants, and exactly where to go to get it"
• Sushi - "an eclectic lifestyle, so he wants to try everything"
• Mexican - "hot and spicy guy is the kind that will dance the night away"
• Chinese - "he needs a little motivation"
• Steakhouse - "since he won't stray too far from the norm, he could be a huge bore"
• Italian - "you've got a serious romantic on your hands"
• Burgers and fries - "likes it straight, so he can save himself for the BMX race he's in"