"query" news and stories

At Chowhound, there is an interesting discussion going on about dinner invitation etiquette. The question is whether you should extend an invitation to someone who probably will not be able to make it to the event. The chowhound who started the thread had a friend who was offended that she was not invited to a dinner, though she admitted that she probably would not have come anyway. On one hand, you might think that if she wasn't going to come, it does not matter whether she was invited. If she had decided to show up, though, it could have caused problems for the group, which was dining at a restaurant.

Excluding large events, like weddings, most dinner parties at restaurants or at home have a lot that depends on the dynamic of the group. When you are planning the party, you want to make sure that everyone will get along and that you have a good mix of people. You want to invite people who will get along and you have to know in advance how many people are coming in order to place a reservation or make the appropriate amount of food.

Personally, I think that the friend was out of line. Do you have to be included in every single thing a friend does? No - and if you're not going to come anyway, don't complain about it.