"polite" news and stories

The Seattle Times brought up a good point with an article about dealing with dietary restrictions in social situations. In restaurants, it is a relatively simple matter to let your waiter or the chef know that you have food allergies or would prefer to have your dish without, say, cilantro. But food issues can be more problematic when dining at the home of friends or acquaintances.

It is always acceptable to let people know when you have allergies - preferably in advance - but what about food preferences? Should you tell the host that you follow the Atkins diet and your significant other doesn't eat any dairy products and hates onions?

Unfortunately, there is no one real answer, but since most hosts and hostesses want people to enjoy the party and the food they prepare, it can be easier to mention some things up front, than to refuse all food at the dinner. As a general rule, it is a good idea to politely mention "big" things, such as whether you are a vegetarian or vegan, but if you really have a laundry list of foods you just don't like, be willing to compromise and pick some out. To play it safe, offer to bring a dish (or two), which will not only take pressure off the host/hostess, but will make sure there is something you can eat.

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At Chowhound, there is an interesting discussion going on about dinner invitation etiquette. The question is whether you should extend an invitation to someone who probably will not be able to make it to the event. The chowhound who started the thread had a friend who was offended that she was not invited to a dinner, though she admitted that she probably would not have come anyway. On one hand, you might think that if she wasn't going to come, it does not matter whether she was invited. If she had decided to show up, though, it could have caused problems for the group, which was dining at a restaurant.

Excluding large events, like weddings, most dinner parties at restaurants or at home have a lot that depends on the dynamic of the group. When you are planning the party, you want to make sure that everyone will get along and that you have a good mix of people. You want to invite people who will get along and you have to know in advance how many people are coming in order to place a reservation or make the appropriate amount of food.

Personally, I think that the friend was out of line. Do you have to be included in every single thing a friend does? No - and if you're not going to come anyway, don't complain about it.

If you are planning on doing any traveling in 2006, it might be worth checking out the Don't Gross Out The World quiz. The quiz features eleven multiple choice questions about the culinary quirks of various cultures, from Canada to Japan. The answers reveal the proper manners you need to exhibit to show your enjoyment and appreciation when dining at foreign dinner tables. Even if you are not planning on visiting Iran or the Inuits this year, it is still an enjoyable way to spend a few minutes. Raise your glasses, your fork and your mouse and take the quiz. My score was 9 out of 11. How did you do?

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