"mock tofu" news and stories

When I cook for friends and family, I like to try out new things. I regularly put together strange recipes, attempt bizarre cooking methods, and generally have a lot of fun stretching my friends' (and my) horizons. Of course, sometimes these attempts fail, and the tale of my Polish lemon soup is notorious, as is the story of a Mexican lime/chicken dish that was borderline inedible.

Still, even in my worst culinary moments, I can proudly state that I have never, ever deliberately sabotaged a meal. Then again, this piece convinced me that there might be a lot to be said for using a meal to attack one's nearest and dearest. I especially liked the recipe for faux tofu:

Another one for the vegetarians. If they think they like tofu, wait until they sample your delicious mock tofu -- all you need is chicken fat, pureed pork loin, and five cups of piping-hot tallow. Cheryl will never know the difference.

I'm going to stick with cooking as means of showing love, affection, and concern. Still, I can't question the effectiveness of using it to destroy your friendships and alienate yourself!