NSFW: This is standup, therefore, beware of foul language.
Here's a laugh to get us through the hump day.
As much as we can all rant, there's nothing quite like the fuming fury of a funny man. Above, you can check out a 10-minute sketch of Lewis Black ranting about the world of milk and the commodification of water, from Black on Broadway. It may be long, but its got enough laughs to make it feel like just a moment.
We're talking the kind of rant where the subject drives you crazy with aggravation, until it boils up into your eyes and makes you suffer short convulsive fits (as Black does while mentioning acidophilus, and sending me to tears). It's wickedly funny, both for Black's treatment of the matter, and its common sense.
Milk seems like a simple fluid, but this excerpt of Milk shares the convoluted truth.
The easiest way to start appreciating wine: try it in different glasses (it converted me!). Gord Stimmell talks about the truths of wine glasses and some cheap but tasty wine picks.
Communal dining at Oddfellows and a warning about mixed nuts.
Giving thanks is often teamed with religion, but being thankful can mean more, non-denominationally.
Flour is the basic structural ingredient. It's the starch in the flour that will, when mixed with liquid and heated in the oven, gelatinize and set when cooled. Flour also contains the proteins you need to make gluten, which is great for baking bread but not so desirable for making pie crusts. All you have to do is use a flour with a lower protein content, which generally means all purpose flour (cake flour might be too weak).
Fats are considered tenderizing agents for baked goods like cakes and pie crusts, rather than shortening agents like they would be for bread. In pie crusts, fats like oil, vegetable shortening, butter, and lard prevent gluten from getting formed in the first place by coating the flour granules, thus ensuring tenderness. Flakiness is achieved by the way you mix the dough: larger chunks of fat from less mixing make for more flakiness while more mixing and smaller fat chunks make a less flaky crust. They also add a lot of flavor, especially in the case of butter and animal fats. Lard and butter are also generally considered to have a better feel in the mouth, and lard is reputed to create a flakier crust than other fats.
Water and milk are the most common liquids, while buttermilk, eggs, and cream can also be used. Liquids function as a binding agent: they allow all of the ingredients to be evenly dissolved and incorporated. They also hydrate the the starch and protein in the flour and activate whatever leavening is being used. If you're using a liquid besides water, you're also adding fats, sugar, and acidity which is a good thing. The fats add tenderness, the adds to crust color, and the acidity makes the dough more stable and easier to roll out as well as taste better. Make sure to always use a cold liquid to keep the fat nice and cold, so it'll retain its shape/temperature and produce a flaky product.
Eggs are used for hydrating the dough, creating structure, giving color to the dough, and flavor. The whites are 90% water and the rest protein, so that aids in hydration and structure. The yolks are 50% water with the rest being mostly fat, contributing to hydration and tenderness as well as flavor and crust color.
Sugar adds sweetness and contributes the most to crust color. Ths crust turns golden brown because the sugar in the dough caramelizes as it's baked. Also, the texture of the dough can be changed by using sugar ground to different levels of fineness. For instance, powdered sugar makes a dough that is smoother, even if it doesn't taste as good as granulated.
I've always been thankful that I'm not allergic to anything. I breathe a sigh of relief every time I get to say "not that I know of" when the doctor asks if I'm allergic to anything. At the same time, I've always felt really bad for people who do suffer from food allergies. Lactose intolerance? You poor thing! What? You can't eat wheat/bread? I just don't think I could make it.
I realize that if you are one of the people who can't eat certain foods you get used to it and take it in stride. And of course, food labels are enormously useful in helping people avoid those dangerous foods. Even though there are more, manufacturers are required to list the top eight, which are responsible for 90% of allergic reactions. I'm sure all of these look familiar to any careful label reader!
1. wheat 2. soy 3. peanuts 4. tree nuts (almonds, walnuts, etc) 5, milk 6. eggs 7. fish 8. shellfish
A good friend of mine once spilled a gallon of milk in his car. If that ever happens to you, head directly to the car wash. Do not stop on the way. Once that milk smell sets in, it never goes away and it is not pleasant. According to the New York Times, milk spilling has become a big problem due to a change in the classic milk carton.
Wal-Mart and Costco are rolling out new milk jugs. The difference is that the new jugs are square and made of recyclable plastics. This makes them stack-able and compact in trucks and on shelves. These jugs are less expensive because of easier shipping and the elimination of milk crates.
The downside of the new jugs is that it is taking consumers some time to get used to them. People are having difficulty not spilling milk during the pour since there is no spout. Sam's Club has even been offering in-store classes on how to pour from the new jugs. I suppose you could always transfer your milk to a glass container with a spout if it were that much of a problem.
This weekend's New York Times reported that as of last Tuesday dairy farmers in Germany are striking. It's a classic case of supply and demand. The EU decided to raise milk quotas, leading to more supply and lower prices. Meanwhile feed and fuel prices have gone way up, which has put the pinch on German dairy farmers. In response, they're attempting to create demand by striking.
However, as the NYT points out, this situation is a little different than the Italian pig farmers, because these dairy farmers must continue to milk the cows. Because their goal is to keep the milk out of the market, they end up pouring it out, literally dumping food down the drain. It's an unfortunate situation, especially since worldwide there are so many people who are struggling with food shortages and hunger.
So many of us are lactose intolerant these days, but there are so many milk substitutes that it's difficult to know where to turn! Find out where to go, and how to incorporate these substitutes into your cooking.
Earlier today, Bob Sassone posted here about his milk gone bad. Anatomic Factory together with artist Bombo were thinking about the same subject. They created these bizarre milk carton shaped lights. They look like plain milk cartons, but they reveal a weird world of mold playing in the carton when you turn them on.
I choose to dump my old milk and not think too much about what might be going on in there. However, I must admit that these would make for really cute kitchen lamps.
What's next? A light designed to reveal the mold on an apple juice glass left out on the counter for too long? Umm.. wait... that happened in my house, no art light needed.
"Milk In the Land: Ballad of an American Drink," a documentary about the ubiquitous white beverage, has shown at several film festivals across the U.S. and is now hitting Philly. Directors Ariana Gerstein and Monteith McCollum show us the ins and outs of the cow's milk industry, revealing its interesting past. But don't expect a thoughtful retrospective on the Great American Drink - this film unearths often grimace-inducing secrets about milk, questions its nutritional value, and spotlights the milk extraction process in farms run by agribusiness corporations.
The film features several theatrical elements, including testimonials by industry professionals and stop-motion animation, to explore the drink inside and out. It has been called "fascinating" by some critics, but one FilmCAN reviewer was pretty disappointed, saying the film lacked detail and that the interviewees provided stuttered, unconvincing arguments.
Despite the occasional bad review, Milk sounds pretty worthwhile - similar to the string of string of recent documentaries on the underbelly of the food industry, even if the film itself isn't the best, you'll undoubtedly walk out of the theater with some newfound food and business knowledge under your belt.
I thought I'd give you a little musical accompaniment to your coffee-drinking/blog-reading/procrastinating this morning. Blur's "Coffee and TV" is, hands down, the best music video starring an anthropomorphic carton of milk. Seriously. Try to find a better music video starring a carton of milk. I dare you.
Without giving too much away, the video's googley-eyed star makes his way through the city, encountering danger, suspense, and love on his quest. The video is worth watching through to the end, if not for the classic song, then for the oddly sweet, albeit slightly morbid, ending.
Ah, milk. It's tasty, it's satisfying, and it makes a great music video star.
I've loved experimenting with drinking chocolates this winter. Swirling shaved chocolate into a saucepan of milk produces a far better result than anything I achieve with hot cocoa mix. I usually use dark chocolate, and sometimes add sugar until the mixture reaches my desired sweetness. That is, until recently -- the mother of my close friend is Colombian, and she brought us a bar of Colombian chocolate designed for melting into hot beverages. I can't get enough of it.
The bar is already sweetened perfectly, so you just add it to hot milk and allow it to melt. Once melted, you beat the mixture with a molinillo -- a chocolate whisker with designs native to Colombia, Mexico and other Latin American countries. The result is a deliciously foamy drink with a great chocolate kick. The product I used is called Sweet Chocolate, and the brand is Sol. I found the cheapest bar ($3.99) at Latin Pantry. But I'm sure there are others out there from Colombia as well as from other countries, so please share your favorites!
If you don't have a molinillo, you can use a normal whisk to achieve ideal foaminess. Feel free to add cinnamon as they do in Colombia, or syrups and extracts of your choice.
America (at least the segment of the population that reads the New York Times Dining & Wine section) has already embraced artisanal raw milk cheeses, boutique breads, bacon from pigs hand-fed on nothing but acorns.
Now, according to the lead story in the Wednesday Dining & Wine section, small-batch milk, cream and butter are the next Big Thing in refined gourmandise. In the article, It-chef Thomas Keller of Napa's French Laundry raves about butter handmade at a small Vermont creamery. "It has a different flavor profile and nuances throughout the year," he rhapsodizes. Fresh local dairy products are great, certainly - I buy pints of thick, downy cream from a nearby farm, and love nothing more than a hunk of baguette slathered with good butter, paved with sliced radishes and sprinkled with sea salt.
But my favorite part of the story had less to do with food and more to do with seventh-grade giggles: a quote from Nancy Nipples, founder of the Pike Place Market Creamery in Seattle. Full legal name: Nancy Nipples the Milkmaid.
And that's an order there, buddy. If you spill milk today, maybe while pouring a glass or putting some in your coffee or perhaps in your cereal bowl, DON'T CRY OVER IT. Seriously.
Yup, it's National Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. Not really sure what to do with this. Link to recipes that include some sort of milk in the ingredients? Nah, there's too many of them. So how about this: in the comments below list what type of milk you drink (skim, low fat, whole, 2%, etc) or maybe give a Heloise-ish tip on what to do if someone were to indeed spill milk on a rug (I'm assuming that will be the hardest area to clean, since your kitchen counter is pretty easy, as long as you don't let the milk stand there for a while).
We can change the way we make eggs -- scrambled, poached, fried -- but what about changing the eggs themselves? Mix up your scrambling routine with quail eggs.
Last week we wrote about the news that 
I've loved experimenting with drinking chocolates this winter. Swirling shaved chocolate into a saucepan of milk produces a far better result than anything I achieve with hot cocoa mix. I usually use dark chocolate, and sometimes add sugar until the mixture reaches my desired sweetness. That is, until recently -- the mother of my close friend is Colombian, and she brought us a 
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