I've never eaten a McRib and recently learned that I may never get the chance to do so. Oh, who am I kidding a 'cue-obsessed person like me would never get within 50 feet of McDonald's boneless "rib" sandwich. But that doesn't mean that in a moment of weakness I wouldn't want to at least entertain the possibility of trying one.I was slightly upset when I typed my ZIP code into the McRib Farewell Tour II site. My appetite had been whet by the snazzy sound check and the photos of nubile young McRib groupies flashing across my monitor. I'd even recorded a cool light show to go along with the song I Want to Hold You One More Time. My use of soft blue tones to emphasize the plaintive chorus of "No bones, I get lost in your sauce," was particularly brilliant. I also added my name to those of the other 45,583 folks who'd signed the Save the McRib petition. Imagine my disappointment when I entered my ZIP only to be told "Drag. McRib isn't playing in your area, sorry dude." No way in hell am I creating a tour shirt for myself! Curse Ronald McDonald and his minions.

For those of you who have never encountered a 









