Yesterday, I posted about curing the recession blues by daydreaming of sumptuous feasts à la Alice B. Toklas. As I wrote, I was reminded of an old southern joke my father told me years ago that is now among my favorites. So, if fantasy isn't your bag, how about a little humor to lighten the mood? The joke goes something like this:

Old Man Clackett was getting pretty long in the tooth. Sensing that his dying day was near, he figured it was time to confess his wrongdoings to those he'd sinned against.

"Maw Clackett, you come on in here," he called to his beloved wife of 61 years. "I got to talk to you."

Maw Clackett wheeled into the room. "What are you carrying on about, Paw?" she asked.

"It's time I told you about my old pebble jar, Maw. You see, every time I was unfaithful to you I put a pebble in this here jar." He showed her the jar, which held three pebbles.

"Well, old man, I reckon that ain't too bad. To tell the truth, I got a jar of my own. Every time I stepped out on you, I dropped a bean down in it." She wheeled over to her dresser, opened the top drawer, and pulled a jar out from under the clothes.

Old Man Clackett winced. He hadn't expected this. "Well then, let's see it, woman."

Punchline after the jump...

Did anyone else catch this joke? I know it's a few days late, but I just came across it and I don't remember seeing it on any other food blogs. This is actually pretty funny, and I wish I had seen it in time for the actual day in question.

I found a press release that claimed that Nestle's Butterfinger bar was changing its name to the Finger, effective immediately. I didn't even notice the date of the press release until later, but I wondered to myself if this wasn't a late April fool's joke. Nope, it was a right-on-time joke.

Anyway, check this out for the whole joke. Hopefully you'll laugh as much as I did, even if it is a little late.

Back in 1999, an idea was formed when one fruitcake fan was ridiculed for her beliefs by a group of fruitcake-hating coworkers. That idea was to start the Society for the Protection and Preservation of Fruitcake, bringing together those who enjoy the much-maligned holiday food. The founder put her recipe online and the cause has been gaining momentum - slowly, but steadily - ever since.

The SPPF is a non-membership organization, so there are no meetings, dues or group fruitcake swaps, but on their website, you will find the founder's recipe which seems to make at least 14 pounds of fruitcake (5 large loaf pans and 8 one pound loaf pans), links to the recipes from other supporters of the SPPF and links to lots of other fruitcake loving websites.

When you finally get tired of the "good cholesterol, bad cholesterol" and the "good fat, bad fat" debates, you can make simply stop worrying and make things much clearer, at least where butter is concerned. "Christ Butter" and "Satan Butter" make it pretty clear which is "good" and which is not.

Actually, I'm just kidding. Much like the Cereal Bowl Light, these are not actually edible. The butter-stick-lookalikes are hand-carved in Charm City, Maryland from hardwood and then painted to look buttery before receiving the appropriate wrapping. The Christ butter is $9.99 a stick, while the Satan butter is only $6.66. The number (if you've ever seen The Omen) has significance, but when faced with two similar products, the lower priced one is certainly tempting.

Looking for a more secular spread? There is a "love butter" from this same line, or you could always stick with the real thing.

[via tsogb]

In every office, there is someone who has a jar of candy on their desk. It might be a jar of hard candies, jelly beans or M&M's, but there will be a jar and people will inevitably find reasons to walk by it and grab a treat or two on occasion. To give your office mates a buzz, replace the candy jar with Rocket Chocolate. The individually wrapped milk chocolates have 150 mg of caffeine in each piece, which is as much as three cans of Coke and only slightly less than two cans of Red Bull. The creamy chocolate will help to quiet your sweet tooth, but the pick-me-up of the candy is what will really help get you through the afternoon.

Either your co-workers will be grateful for the extra buzz or they'll wonder why their second cup of coffee seems to be affecting them so strongly -- especially if they take more than one chocolate. Just try to make sure you don't let anyone with a caffeine sensitivity grab a piece unknowingly.