Jingles are jaunty little hymns to hum while strolling down the aisles of the local temple of frozen pizzas, jarred cheeses, and fresh produce. These clarion calls of consumerism are designed to be simple, snappy, and infectious like swine flu. Beamed directly from the television to the frontal lobe, they are often more memorable than the products about which they're composed.

And that's what makes them so effective; you might not want that box of salty, over-priced flavored rice, but it's been scanned and bagged already. Why? Because you didn't even realize that your eyes had rolled into the back of your skull while you were whistling that product's happy little mind-controlling melody.

So we're celebrating some of the most important music our culture has ever produced -- tunes engineered to tickle the intersection of neural ganglia where pleasure and credit card impulses meet. We dare you to listen, remember and totally not catch yourself blurting them out later today, probably at an inappropriate time. Each of these jingles is cheesy, manipulative and one of them will probably be our dying words.

"Is there anything you'd like to say with your last breath?"

"I... I....I feel...like chicken tonight...like chicken... tonight."

10. Chili's


Chorus: "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs."
Why it's so catchy: It might just be the greatest tune that well-coiffed troupe of teen troubadours from yesteryear, 'N Sync, ever sang. This finger-snapping jingle stirs up excitement for what's essentially a plate of mealy pork bones slathered in sweet ketchup. It's funky, soulful and has the most addicting bass line in all of audio advertising. Imagine it being sung by a cross between Gregorian monks and a gospel choir.

Do you feel like chicken tonight? Betcha will, after the jump.

I've always thought it was weird and creepy that food mascots tell you to eat the food that they are representing. Animated chickens tell you to eat chicken, Charlie The Tuna wants you to buy Starkist Tuna, and that annoying talking Mini-Wheats guy helps you with your spelling and wants you to eat him and his friends. Gah.

Suicide Food is a blog that keeps track of all these mascots, and the world of that sort of advertising in general. The site describes itself as "any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society. Suicide Food says, "Hey! Come on! Eating meat is without any ethical ramifications! See, Mr. Greenjeans? The animals aren't complaining! So what's your problem?" Suicide Food is not funny."