In September, Slashfood wrote about 10 Dirty Little Restaurant Secrets, those ways that restaurants cut corners to save a few dimes. Boy did you readers weigh in. We've culled 10 of the best reader-submitted restaurant tricks from the 468 comments left on the post.

Read on for Slashfood readers' horror stories -- from nibbled-upon entrees to doctored veal cutlets.

Turducken is a de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which is stuffed with a de-boned chicken that is usually stuffed with a sausage, cornbread stuffing. But you already knew this. This distinctly Southern holy trinity of protein has gone from culinary curiosity to mainstream obsession over the course of its short life (its origins are disputed, but it seemed to magically appear sometime in the early to mid-1980s.)

The Turducken's place in the mighty pantheon of American cuisine is a forgone conclusion. This Frankenstein of Fowl Meat is here to stay. But that doesn't mean you know everything about this truly savory gift to the carnivore. In fact, here are five things you didn't know about the happy marriage between gobblers, quackers, and cluck-cluckers.

For those of you who want to try to conjure this delicacy, check out noted health food pioneer Paula Deen's recipe here.

Jingles are jaunty little hymns to hum while strolling down the aisles of the local temple of frozen pizzas, jarred cheeses, and fresh produce. These clarion calls of consumerism are designed to be simple, snappy, and infectious like swine flu. Beamed directly from the television to the frontal lobe, they are often more memorable than the products about which they're composed.

And that's what makes them so effective; you might not want that box of salty, over-priced flavored rice, but it's been scanned and bagged already. Why? Because you didn't even realize that your eyes had rolled into the back of your skull while you were whistling that product's happy little mind-controlling melody.

So we're celebrating some of the most important music our culture has ever produced -- tunes engineered to tickle the intersection of neural ganglia where pleasure and credit card impulses meet. We dare you to listen, remember and totally not catch yourself blurting them out later today, probably at an inappropriate time. Each of these jingles is cheesy, manipulative and one of them will probably be our dying words.

"Is there anything you'd like to say with your last breath?"

"I... I....I feel...like chicken tonight...like chicken... tonight."

10. Chili's


Chorus: "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs."
Why it's so catchy: It might just be the greatest tune that well-coiffed troupe of teen troubadours from yesteryear, 'N Sync, ever sang. This finger-snapping jingle stirs up excitement for what's essentially a plate of mealy pork bones slathered in sweet ketchup. It's funky, soulful and has the most addicting bass line in all of audio advertising. Imagine it being sung by a cross between Gregorian monks and a gospel choir.

Do you feel like chicken tonight? Betcha will, after the jump.

Serious diners may revile the open restaurant kitchen as noisy and passé, but the worst behaved among them should thank their lucky stars for the unfortified layout. After all, it's much harder for a server to spit in their food with everyone in the room watching.

But no amount of interior decorating can stop servers from taking revenge on their most miserable customers. Cads who pat their servers' behinds and cheapskates who order water, sugar and lemon instead of paying for lemonade should know their hijinks don't go unnoticed: Even the sweetest-seeming server will punish offenses at the table -- usually smiling all the while.

Spitting gets all the press, but few servers at sit-down restaurants like to mess with bodily fluids: Spitting's considered a rather déclassé and uninspired way of getting back at customers. Savvy restaurant workers aim for pocketbooks, not their guests' immune systems.

Photos: Mailboat; Paul Beaty, AP.

In retrospect, it all sounds like something out of one of those strange dreams where everyone you watched on TV during the day converge into one subliminal place -- and Bret Michaels was there, and so was Rod Blagojevich! And Sinbad was taking Al Roker's drink order while Joan Rivers recommended the $100 burger. Oh Auntie Em, there's no place like home!

In reality, it was just another day in the life of a "Celebrity Apprentice."

When Slashfood received word through the grapevine that our very own "Star Chef" Curtis Stone was serving up gourmet cheeseburgers for charity at Burger Heaven on Monday, we had to go and root for the home team.

Photo: Sarah LeTrent

Professional chefs prepare and enjoy a huge variety of different foods, some familiar to the rest of us, some beyond our usual pantry options, unless you're prone to stocking huitalacoche ( aka corn fungus), beef cheeks and tomato foam.

But even though they possess adventurous palates and have the opportunity to try ingredients and dishes from far and wide, that doesn't mean they like everything they eat. They all have one or two foods that just don't do it for them, their own personal food Kryptonite.

Slashfood asked some of the country's top chefs which edibles top their "thanks, but no thanks" list.

Rachael Ray
The ubiquitous Rachael Ray is famous for transforming all kinds of foods into 30-minute meals, but she has a serious aversion to mayonnaise. "Mayo is a four-letter word to me and I avoid using it when I can. It's all about that texture. I even make a no-mayonnaise potato salad is perfect for picnics since you don't have to worry about spoiling."

Photo: David Sifry, Flickr.

Just like heroic epics and Hollywood romances, server horror stories tend to unfold according to a very specific formula: Server meets guests. Guests like server. Server takes order. Server disappears.

While servers who spill coffee on their guests or forget to bring an extra fork are generally forgiven, there's no redemption for servers who vanish. Without their server in sight, guests feel neglected, trapped and exasperated by the entire eating-out experience. It's a rotten situation, which is why most diners who've posted here about terrible service have admitted to at some point wondering where their server went.

Assuming that question is sometimes posed sincerely, I offer here a few solutions to the Case of the Missing Server. Note that these explanations aren't excuses: Great servers don't go AWOL, ever. But there are many rational reasons, unapparent to guests, why servers can't be found. He or she just might be ...

1. Splitting checks. Here's one task that's become more laborious with the advent of computers. To prevent employee theft, most electronic point-of-sale systems are designed to make shifting guest tabs a tricky, multi-step process. Woe to the server who accidentally sticks Seat 3's fried wonton app on Seat 4's bill: On some popular systems, such an error can only be corrected by recombining the entire check and starting over. Creating six separate checks -- and gathering up six pens for signing them -- can take a server off the floor for up to five minutes (which, to a guest waiting for an iced tea refill, feels like an hour).

Photo: travelbex, Flickr.

Photo: Amazon.com.

'Cooking With Pumpkins and Squash'
By Brian Glover
Photography by Peter Cassidy
Ryland Peteres & Small -- 2008
Buy it on Amazon

Despite early fall's T-shirt weather and last-summer's-hurrah barbecues, Brian Glover's "Cooking With Pumpkins and Squash" beckoned. Although it largely consists of hot autumn colors and warming recipes, this exquisite cold-weather cookbook could not sit one week in the kitchen before we cracked.

We blame Glover's seductive prose: "Some flavors stand out as having a real affinity with squashes and pumpkins of all shapes and sizes; their nutty sweetness works well with salty tastes such as goat cheese, feta and olives..." His understanding of squash's potential as an adaptable base -- to be spiked with other bold ingredients and not merely to be devoured on its own -- intrigued us.

Though many niche cookbooks devoted to a particular ingredient can be characterized as too centric toward their subject, "Cooking With Pumpkins and Squash" reveals refreshingly complex recipes with unexpected flavors. "Light bites" recipes like Grilled Zucchini, Halloumi and Fava Beans with Tomato and Mint Dressing expertly showcase and complement the light, springy flavor of summer squash, while heartier entrées like the Pumpkin Risotto with Pancetta and Sage suit the rich, silky texture of pumpkin and butternut squash.

See what we tested and find out whether the book's worth buying after the jump.

British-born, New York-based freelance journalist Mark Ellwood has spent most of his life traveling the globe in pursuit of the finest fashion, furnishings and food. In this brand new series for Slashfood, he highlights the distinctive regional cuisines of his adopted country.

Photo: image415, flickr

Rhode Island is like a gourmet Galapagos, a tiny patch of water-hemmed land that's evolved a separate culture from its surroundings. There are state-specific brands like Del's Lemonade and Autocrat Coffee Syrup, Rhody recipes for jonnycakes and stuffies and even localized tweaks on American staples; only in Rhode Island could clear clam chowder come with an add-to-taste jug of heavy cream to placate visiting Bostonians.

Given locals' culinary passion, it's no wonder this is where the diner was invented by Walter Scott in 1872, who piled up a horse-drawn wagon with pies and sandwiches and stationed it in front of the Providence Journal offices.

How did the smallest state in the union -- barely 1,000 square miles of land -- develop such aggressive, idiosyncratic tastes? In part, thanks to its origins.

"We have this very independent spirit; it's historic, going right back to Williams," explains Linda Beaulieu, author of "The Providence and Rhode Island Cookbook." Indeed, Roger Williams founded the outpost as a rebellion against the Massachusetts Bay Colony's hardline conformism, and that rebellious independence has ricocheted down through Rhode Island's history -- and menus. "Chain restaurants don't do well here at all. In fact a year or two ago, the Red Lobster closed -- people just didn't support it."

Stuffies and quahogs, anyone? Explore more of Rhode Island's culinary offerings after the jump.

Ro*Tel's Queso Dip Recipe. Photo: ConAgra Foods

"What the hell is that?" is the first question many non-Texans ask when they see the goopy Southwestern cheese dip chile con queso (queso for short and pronounced "kay-so"). The prevalent and heralded form of queso is a mixture of Velveeta and Ro*Tel canned tomatoes and chiles. It's usually orange, flecked with red and green chiles, and a crust forms when the dip begins to cool. At the risk of being run out of town: What's so good about that?

When queried, this writer's wife, a Texas native, her relatives and friends answer along the lines of "it's just so good!" Queso is good; so is cow's brains. Queso is creamy and spicy and won't run off a tortilla chip like other salsas. Crucial to understanding the dip is the facility with which it is prepared. Ready in five minutes, it's a fiesta favorite. Are there Texans at a party you're hosting? Whip out the queso and welcome the adulation. "It's just so good!"

Another reason is Lone Star pride. "Texans have a special place in their hearts for queso and Ro*Tel. Both originated in the state," says Mike Locascio, vice president and general manager at ConAgra Foods, Ro*Tel's manufacturer.

Cool and creamy broccoli soup. Photo: Brent Ridge, Beekman 1802.

Brent Ridge and Josh Kilmer-Purcell are the farmers and innovators behind Beekman 1802, a 200-year-old estate and farm in upstate New York. We'll be running recipes, photos and tales from the farm as their crops come into season.

When we were younger, our moms had to work really hard to get us to eat broccoli. First they became magical, miniature trees. Then once we wised up to that, it had to be camouflaged with something like melted Velveeta or ranch dressing.

Now we don't think broccoli needs much adornment at all. In fact, we are so prone to picking and eating it right in the garden that it often never actually makes it to the kitchen.

Our heirloom broccoli and an amazing recipe after the jump.

Photo: Erix, Flickr

Want to really confuse your server? Leave a 15-percent tip.

There's nothing more ambiguous than the 15-percent tip, which could just as well be a "thanks for nothing" grat from a miffed diner who always leaves 20 percent or a sincere show of gratitude from an infrequent restaurantgoer who thinks 15 percent is still the going rate for good service. Only the tipper knows for sure.

Fortunately for servers, fewer customers today seem to fall into the latter category, which is now mostly populated by the very old and very stubborn. Surveys show the vast majority of Americans have transitioned away from the 15-percent standard which ruled the food and beverage industry for decades, with the national average tip rising to 19 percent in 2008.

Savory onion tart. Photo: Brent Ridge, Beekman 1802.

Brent Ridge and Josh Kilmer-Purcell are the farmers and innovators behind Beekman 1802, a 200-year-old estate and farm in upstate New York. We'll be running recipes, gorgeous photos and tales from the farm as their crops come into season.

By Brent Ridge with Sandy Gluck

Even as a little boy I was a champion of diversity. I didn't care if the onion was white, yellow or red. I liked them all. My favorite meal at grandma's house was her onion sandwich: thin slices of onion, two slices of bread and a generous layer of Duke's mayonnaise.

Fortunately for all of you, my tastes are a little more sophisticated now, though sophisticated and simple are not mutually exclusive when it comes to good recipes. Have you ever thought about combining savory caramelized onions, tangy blue cheese and sweet, juicy slices of apple? I hadn't either, until our friend (and former Martha Stewart Everyday Food editor Sandy Gluck) made the suggestion. The result was a delicious and decadent onion tart that will impress every single person at your table.

Columbia Valley Chardonnay. Photo: Gordon Brothers

Gretchen Roberts writes the wine blog Vinobite, has passed the introductory course at the Court of Master Sommeliers and is studying for her sommelier certification this fall.

Chardonnay is one of the most-planted wine grapes in the world (second in whites only to Arien, a Spanish variety, according to Jancis Robinson's "Oxford Companion to Wine"). The grape behind both crisp, acidic Chablis and rich, creamy California Chards can be made into some of the most expensive (Champagne) and least expensive (Two-Buck Chuck) vinos in the world.

As with people, Chardonnay is full of surprises.

After the jump, five Chardonnays under $15 that showcase the grape's full range of flavors -- and a question for my fellow oenophiles.