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Grilling barefoot, turquoise waters lapping at his ankles as he flipped tuna steaks, Eric Ripert tipped his straw hat back and said he wouldn't mind if Top Chef decided to shoot a few episodes down in the Cayman Islands.

The Le Bernardin chef and TV star was serving local tuna with a truffled herb salad at a picnic on a sandbar called Starfish Point last weekend. Working next to him was Jennifer Carroll, the former Top Chef contestant and an employee.

"What do you think, Jenny?" he asked. "Shooting a Top Chef here?"

Jenny was recently told to take her knives and go from Top Chef All-Stars.

"Can I be a judge instead of competing?" she asked.

Ripert just laughed.

Anthony Bourdain was in fine form this weekend in the Cayman Islands, skewering sacred culinary cows with beer-fueled gusto during an hour-long "Chat with Tony." After being introduced by Gail Simmons, of Top Chef, as part of a the third annual Cayman Cookout on this Caribbean island, Bourdain revealed a behind-the-scenes secret about the show on which he also appears as a judge: "Who do you think really spends the most time in hair and makeup?" he asked an audience of 100 barefoot fans gathered on the island's famous Seven Mile Beach. "It's not Padma. It's Tom!"

Why Tom Colicchio, the show's folically challenged head judge [no pun intended] should require so much time in the grooming room makes no sense, Bourdain continued. "What does it take? A quick shine and go!"

We're winding down on Top Chef. With five contestants and still no clear front-runner, anyone could go home. The tension is high. The challenges are ever-more bizarre. Padma is wearing a weird tuxedo-jacket-and-men's-necktie combo. And the need to get the hell away from the stifling thematic confines of Washington, D.C., are more apparent than ever.

The second man on the moon, Buzz Aldrin? NASA food scientists? Entrees meant to be freeze-dried and served in zero gravity? Really?

With just one elimination to go before a change of scenery, we were anxiously awaiting the announcement of the exotic locale. Apparently, we weren't the only ones.

Somehow, we remember last year's "have your recipe turned into a Swanson frozen meal" episode being much more... mirthful. Back then, we were cheering for the jovial, bacon-loving leprechaun Kevin Gillespie, and entertained by the dueling (if far less lovable) Brothers Voltaggio.

This year, with the exception of the irrepressible Tiffany -- who, incidentally, didn't get much face time this episode, unless you count the prank where Ed woke up wearing her dress -- there wasn't much mirth and merriment. In fact, it was pretty much 60 minutes of bitching. By the time it was all over, we even forgot someone won the right to be enshrined in deep-freeze cardboard for an eternity.

What happened? Even the elimination challenge of running a baseball concession stand didn't do much to enliven things. Instead, we watched Angelo repeat his Tony Robbins self-empowerment mantras to himself -- really! -- as he tried to weasel his way out of taking orders at the stand, a role he volunteered to play.

• Eric Ripert Predicts Beard Winners [Grub Street New York]
• Alinea Named the Best Chicago Restaurant, Ever [Eater Chicago]
• Danone Withdraws Yogurt Health Claims [WSJ]
• My Life in Food - What Sam Sifton, the NY Times Restaurant Critic, Eats [Diner's Journal]
• Bolivia Puts the Coke Back in Coca Colla [Fork in the Road]
• Party's over for Tailgaters at Dodgers Stadium [LA Times]