"eli kirstein" news and stories

Laurine, the calm amid the 'Top Chef' chaos. Photo: Bravo.

Break out the chaps. Dust off your spurs. Get ready for Padma to ring the dinner bell as only she knows how -- that is, gingerly and timidly.

That's right, with "Top Chef" stationed in the middle of the Southwest this season, we knew there'd have to be some sort of roughing-it challenge to go along with all the gaudy glitz of the Vegas strip. The only question would be just how much roughness our cheftestants would have to endure.

Surprisingly, quite a bit. With only the most mysterious hint of their destination, the dozen remaining chefs were shipped off -- after countless shots of them enjoying the plush luxury of their product-placement Toyotas -- and left to fend for themselves in a remote desert ranch, in teepees, no less. "Is Padma sleeping in a teepee? I'd just like to know," asked Kevin.

That would be an emphatic "no." And while some chefs used the opportunity to wax nostalgic on their outdoorsy upbringings -- some (Ashley) more convincingly than others (Robin) -- some just weren't having it. Cue the urbanite whining of Atlantan Eli, or the voodoo-spellcasting of Haitian Ron, whose elaborate warding off of snakes was appreciated, if not understood, by bunkmate Ash.