Recently, a friend passed along a tip from a dermatologist: Stop sipping through straws. The doctor said it was the number one cause of wrinkles.Even more recently, at lunch one day my aunt relayed some info from her husband, an orthodontist. He said that drinking through a straw prevents cavities and tooth decay, since straws allow sugary beverages to bypass your teeth. When my aunt said this, everybody around the table (six women) stuck straws in their drinks. But when I countered with the skincare side of the question, my aunt was the first to pluck her straw right back out again.
The tooth-health argument is supported by copious research. On the other side, Lesley M. M. Blume warns the wrinkle-phobic about the practice in The Huffington Post and adds, "Not to mention that it looks jejune, and not in a charming way."
Blume also mentions smoking, the better-known culprit behind mouth wrinkles. Think about it. Fine lines around the eyes suggest lots of smiles and laughter (hence the term "laugh lines"). A web of creases encircling the lips, on the other hand, cries "nicotine addiction," even if, as my friend's dermatologist claims, a penchant for straws is the more likely cause.
Then again, missing teeth rank even lower on the charm scale. Plus, what about blowing bubbles in chocolate milk?
So, what's it going to be? Would you risk cavities to prevent wrinkles, or vice-versa? Or you could always ire both dentist and derm, and sip everything through a Twizzler.
This is probably (hopefully) the only time you'll see the words "straws" and "penis" in the same story here at Slashfood.
Last November, Australia-based company 
What Can I Get You Folks? - Eating Out for Thanksgiving
In Defense of Guy Fieri
'Top Chef Vegas' - And Then There Were Five
