The vigilant folks at PETA are really straining at the boundaries of good taste.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals recently sent a letter to Ben & Jerry Homemade, Inc. co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, asking them to consider using human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products.

How did this idea pop up? A restaurant in Switzerland decided to make soups, sauces and other delicacies using 75% human breast milk. If it's a good idea for one Swiss restaurant, it's good enough for a mass-market, (albeit right-on) maker of ice creams. You have to give credit to PETA for seizing a PR opportunity when it finds it .

"If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk," wrote the animal rights group in its letter, "your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits."

Ben & Jerry's, which made a name for itself in the '90s by running its business on progressive, pro-environment practices, is one of the few mainstream companies that might even "consider" a proposal like this.

Unfortunately, it's got product to push. And eye-popping though this idea may be, it's not exactly lip-smacking. Putting aside the health debate surrounding dairy products, I feel fairly secure in saying that the American public is not likely to find the idea of human breast milk ice cream as titillating as the Swiss might.

But I could be wrong.

Now that we are facing all kinds of bans on junk foods from schools, a new product has come to take the place of sodas, long blamed for childhood obesity: good old milk.

In October of this year, Bravo Foods International Corporation will begin shipping a new drink called Slammers. These 8 oz. "snowman-shaped" bottles are manufactured so that fit into the same slot that currently holds a 12 oz. can of soda in vending machines. Slammers are 99% fat free milk, have no preservatives, do not need to be refrigerated (which I can't figure out since the product is milk), and have a shelf-life of 6 months.

Hopefully,the different flavors will be cool enough to help kids forget about sodas: 3 Musketeers flavored chocolate milk, Coco Puffs,Trix, Vanilla, Hard Chocolate, and Scrochin' Strawberry.

In Washington DC, a group of 10 consumers have filed a lawsuit on behalf of all the citizens in the district who are lactose intolerant and don't know it. They are demanding that the defendants in the case, which include supermarkets like Safeway, put warning labels on milk cartons, stating that milk could cause health problems in people who are lactose intolerant.

This seems fairly obvious, but the plaintiffs insist that most people don't know that they are lactose intolerant - the onset is gradual and can occur any time in life - and continue to experience negative side effects from the ingestion of dairy.

Fortunately for dairy producers, sellers and even milk drinkers, their case brought an unfavorable ruling by the US District Court that heard it, though the group plans to appeal. Dairy producers seem to think that labels would hurt sales, but if people are not put off by experiencing negative side effects such as abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal disturbances, it doesn't seem all that likely that most consumers would alter their buying habits when it comes to milk.

The lovely Lady McCartney, in the news for her split from some singer, has added milk to her list of causes. Apparently, dairy products are not good for us.

She is fronting a new White Lies campaign to be launched on May 24th that basically says that dairy products are now to be added to the list of banned foods. Pardon me as I refrain from swearing and wondering exactly what we will be left with (spinach and rain water I expect, although even water is looking dodgy what with the drought in the south east of England). The Dairy Council, naturally, also disagrees, pointing out that no seals are culled during milking.

I can't locate a website for this campaign, but according to Veggies.org, "On May 24th, The Vegetarian & Vegan Foundation is launching a groundbreaking campaign, White Lies, on the enormous health consequences of consuming dairy products. On the same day, the VVF is holding a public talk – 'Why You Don't Need Dairy' – with fantastic guest speakers: Heather Mills McCartney, Professor T. Colin Campbell, Juliet Gellatley, Dr Justine Butler and Professor Jane Plant CBE."

Tickets cost £5.

[Image:Dairy Council]