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Okay, I'm taking a big risk here. In addition to showing off my unattractive, massively egotistical side, I'm also going to put myself in danger of a little self-incrimination. Here goes:
When I'm sober and clear-headed, I'm a pretty decent cook, but when I'm seriously impaired, I am a culinary god. In all honesty, imagine
Drunken Master with a baking sheet. I'm that good.
I've allowed my skills to deteriorate since I left grad school, but, once upon a time, my addled forays into the kitchen were widely regarded as moments of pure magic. Admittedly, impaired kitchen godhood wasn't a quick process: after mastering the beer-and-cabbage ramen dish that my friend Julie was famous for, I played with various crudite, cheese, and dip combinations before moving on to seriously impaired baking.
While I won't endorse BWI (baking while intoxicated) on the grounds that it is incredibly stupid, I have to admit that the biscotti that I produced at 3:00 in the morning with a houseful of goofy friends were truly amazing. Perfectly crisped, with just the slightest touch of anise, they were a great late-night snack, and the perfect accompaniment to the coffee that I would inevitably be guzzling the next morning.
Admittedly, my forays into the world of BWI were not without their dangers: piles of filthy bowls and measuring tools were common, as were flour-covered counters. More important, although I never burned a biscotti, there were a couple of times when it got pretty close. With that in mind, I was particularly impressed by
Dizzy Dee's Five-Minute Chocolate Cake. A mix of six simple ingredients, the recipe uses a mug as both the mixing bowl and cooking vessel, which makes clean-up a lot easier. Also, the cake cooks in the microwave, so you don't have to worry about torching your dessert!