You know those tourists who walk around big cities and feed the pigeons? Know how utterly annoying it is if you're trying to enjoy your lunch in the park and huge swarms of birds are invading your personal space?

Now you can tell those tourists to cool it, lest they want to harm their squawky friends. The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds claims that bread serves as a "filler" for birds and doesn't leave room for the nutrients they need to thrive, especially when they are trying to feed their chicks.

What should we be feeding them instead? Why, "a healthy mix of seeds or worms, grated cheese, porridge oats or soft apples, bananas or strawberries," of course.

But, wait: so is feeding the birds bread actually harmful? Well, no, the Society admits.

Dude: is chocolate cake good for is? No. Could we be eating more nutrient-rich foods? Of course. Is it okay to indulge once in awhile? Yes.

But just to be clear: I'm not condoning feeding pigeons in crowded public spaces. That's just wrong on so many levels.

Perhaps some of you are just going to run out to the supermarket and pick up the first turkey that you see on the shelves of the meat section a few days before Thanksgiving. While this strategy will get you a bird, it will not necessarily get you the best bird, as evidenced by the NYT's cook-off of different types of turkey. The first step in turkey shopping is to find out what kind of turkey you actually want and how much it is going to cost you.

• Heritage turkeys are the types of birds that were served more than, say, 50 years ago when a turkey with breasts larger than the rest of the body was not necessarily desirable. Most of the breeds of bird are not commercially bred and some may even be endangered, so a limited number of them are available at a premium price.
• Free Range turkeys are ones that, like free range chickens, have the option of going outdoors instead of being completely confined, although some free range birds are actually raised completely in the open, so you might want to ask your meat provider about the origin of a free-ranger.
• Organic turkeys are raised on organic feed and without antibiotics and "natural" turkeys make similar claims. Whether you want an organic bird is a personal preference, but Bill Mattos, president of the California Poultry Federation, is quick to point out that "growth hormones and preservatives are not used in California chickens or turkeys, so you just don't have to worry about [that aspect]."
• Conventional turkeys are the least expensive and easiest to find. Some say that they have somewhat less flavor than other birds and, because they have such a large amount of breast meat, they have the potential to be drier than the meat from other birds.

Once you have the turkey, all you have to do is defrost it (unless you've found a local source for frozen turkeys), cook it to perfection and enjoy. You might also want to mention to your dinner guests the amount of time you put into the turkey-finding process so they, too, can appreciate it a bit more.