Move over Taco Town. The good folks at at Australia's Vomino's Pizza have cooked up a fast-food monstrosity that rivals the pizza-crepe-taco-pancake-chili bag. The mindboggling commercial desrcibes the Batterered Sav Supreme Pizza as the the ultimate fast-food pizza. This awesome new menu item was designed to appeal to customers who can't get enough of Vomino's Meat Lover's Pizza. Vomino's artery-clogging new pie is topped with a layer of saveloy's, or spicy red pork sausages, kranskies, another type of Australian sausage, nuggets and chiko rolls. As far as I can tell, the Chiko roll is an Aussie taquito filled with mutton, celery, cabbage, barley rice and carrot. Before I forget the whole affair is also loaded with "anything else left unsold from a milk bar bain marie, topped off with our fizzy cola sauce." All this writing has made me hungry. Since there's no Vomino's in the States, I'll be settling for Taco Bell.
Hardee's remained a distant memory of my East Coast childhood until the third day of a
road trip last summer. We were on the way to a KCBS barbecue competition and paused
to eat what we all agreed was the best fast-food breakfast sandwich ever. Why no one else has come up with something as
tasty as the Grilled Pork Chop Biscuit is beyond me.
Out of
gluttonous machismo I also tried the Thickburger. A third of a pound of fast-food beef was plenty for me. Now,
picture the very same patty capped with a Philly cheesesteak.
Somebody triple dog dared
me. Do you know what that means? I'm going to Trader Joe's in a few to get the ingredients I don't already have for
the pizza crepe taco pancake chili bag. In case you're following along at home (and I truly hope you're
not cooking this along with me):
My
friends over at TV Squad think I should make - and eat - the pizza crepe taco pancake chili bag from the fictional
"Taco Town" as memorialized in a Saturday Night Live skit. What is it, you ask?
A crunchy all beef taco, slathered in nacho cheese, lettuce, tomato, and our special southwestern sauce.
Wrap it in a soft flour tortilla, with a layer of refried beans
Wrap that in a corn tortilla, with a middle layer of monterey jack cheese
Wrap that in a deep fried gordita shell, smear on a layer of special guacamolito sauce
Bake it in a corn husk, filled with pico de gallo
Wrap that in an
authentic Parisian crepe filled with egg, gruyere, merguez sausage, and portabello mushrooms
Wrap that in a Chicago-style deep-dish meat lovers' pizza
Roll it up in a
blueberry pancake, dip it in batter, deep-fry it until it's golden brown
Serve it in
a commemorative tote bag filled with spicy vegetarian chili.
I don't know how this is going to
work and what is guacamolito sauce? But I have to know: do you double dare me?
Somebody 
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