"jesus" news and stories

The worst things about religious portents is that they are so hard to interpret. When Mary shows up in a tortilla or Jesus makes Himself known in a sliced cantaloupe, are these divine figures endorsing the food or warning that we should probably not eat it? Is an Elvis portrait in a ham steak a sign that he wants us to enjoy pork or is it a veiled commentary on the King's acting skills? If Judy Garland talks to me through my Rice Krispies, is this a sign that I should become a female impersonator or just a warning that I need to start taking my medication again?

Tough questions.

These sorts of conundrums recently gained further relevance with the emergence of a slab of toast that bears the image of Sarah Palin. The starchy message from heaven, which is currently going for $31 on eBay, is not particularly easy to interpret. Does it mean that the famed moose-hunter and Republican vice presidential candidate is divinely inspired, or is it a sign that her message is full of empty calories? Are we supposed to consume her platform, making it part of us, or is the universe telling us that she is toast? Either way, I'm taking a good, hard look at my waffle tomorrow--just in case John McCain decides to make an appearance!

Here at Slashfood we're quite familiar with Christian religious icons appearing in various food items. The Virgin Mary has shown up in everything from eggs to chocolate. Now Jesus Christ is appearing in chocolate, quite literally. And in New York City of all places.

"My Sweet Lord," Cosimo Cavallaro's 200-pound anatomically correct milk chocolate sculpture of a nude Jesus suspended from an invisible cross returns to Manhattan after Catholic groups protested its unveiling during Holy Week last April. Actually in the interest of accuracy the exhibit at Chelsea gallery The Proposition is called "Chocolate Saints...Sweet Jesus," since it also includes eights saints, among them St. Francis, St. Augustine and the lesser known St. Fermin. If all this strikes you as rather reverent you're not far off. Cavallaro does not intend his works to be disrespectful.

Disrespectful or not Cavallaro's other works involving food strike me as just downright silly. Maybe I'm just uptight. After all, what's so weird about painting a Manhattan hotel room in melted mozzarella, or spraying 5 tons of pepper jack cheese on a Wyoming home.

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Every so often, we see miraculous, holy things in food. Apparently, Jesus likes nachos, and prefers to wash it down with hot cocoa. A gardener saw Jesus in an asparagus plant, too. As if simply having visions wasn't enough, some people even make money: a woman who saw the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese sandwich sealed it up and sold it on eBay.

Well, now you don't have to rely on divine intervention to see Jesus in your food. The Jesus Pan allows you to cook anything you want, and imprint the image of Jesus on it. The pan is made of steel with a non-stick coating, so you can make "Heavenly Hotcakes" for the next pancake breakfast fundraiser for your church.

Two pans are only $29.99.

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People have seen many religious icons in food in the past. The last time it was chocolate-related, it was Jesus in a drip pattern on a hot chocolate cup. This time, the image of the Virgin Mary was discovered in a Fountain Valley, California chocolate factory in the drippings under a large vat. The chocolate, seen here, stands two inches tall and the Bodega Chocolate employees have been praying to it since it was found on Monday.

Maybe the photo isn't doing it justice, but that doesn't look much like the Virgin Mary. It doesn't even look like the grilled cheese Virgin Mary. Supposedly, the layers of chocolate look like robes and there is a small white dot on the statue that could be the head of the baby Jesus.

Is anyone else skeptical? In this picture, it looks like an owl or a falcon more than a person, but maybe seen up close...

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Well he had to pop up some where, eventually, I suppose. And here he is.... in an asparagus plant.

Jesus is alive and well, if a little disembodied, and residing in a 52-year old's London garden. I don't think being a part-time moasic tutor has anything to do with it but as he laid the 30-inch plant on the grass the sun shone on the roots leading Martin Gregory to exclaim 'Good gracious! It's the face of Jesus.'

The article states that the last Jesus siting was in 1991 as the centerpiece of a Pizza Hut billboard in Atlanta. The image of Jesus' face was found in strands of spaghetti hanging from a fork. However, we here at Slashfood, have reported on plenty more since then. How about Jesus in hot chocolate and in a nacho pan. He gets about a bit doesn't he!

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