"HotDogRolls" news and stories

"Coney Island Elephant." Photo: Theremina/Flickr

In a result that shocked ... no one ... elephants defeated humans in an eating contest at Brooklyn, N.Y.'s Coney Island on Friday afternoon. The trio of animals, whose names sound like second string Golden Girls (Bunny, Susie and Minny) beat the people eaters by nearly 3 to 1 -- 505 to 143 hot dog rolls, in case you were counting.

The animals are in their 40s, and moved at what one reporter called a "leisurely" pace, compared to human counterparts who utilized strategies like dipping two buns in liquid, then stuffing them in their mouths.

Ironically enough, when Slashfood reported this story last week, our source at Major League Eating, George Shea, said, "really, the strategy of ... whether or not the elephants will understand they're in a contest: Will they begin as quickly as the eaters? Will they eat in a leisurely fashion?"

It didn't seem to matter. The results, declared organizers, were a "setback for humanity."