"FriedChickenKiller" news and stories

When most people look at commercials for Klondike bars, I imagine that they see silly people doing fun, wacky things in return for yummy ice cream treats. Personally, I see cruelty, torture, and the dark side of addiction. Hunger is a harsh mistress; luckily, I've never been placed in a situation where I've had to do something embarrassing or illegal to get fed. To my shame, I have to admit that, under the right circumstances, I would probably humiliate myself for a Klondike bar. If the reward was a nice crême brûlée, there's no doubt: all bets would be off.

Because of this moral shortcoming, I can, to some extent, understand Tremayne Durham. A Brooklyn thug who was being held in an Oregon courthouse, Durham recently admitted that he did, indeed, kill a man in cold blood over a failed business deal. In return for his candor, he's probably facing life imprisonment.

What caused Durham to admit to his wrongdoing? Was it depression, guilt, a need for forgiveness, the first step on the road to redemption? No, Durham plead guilty to aggravated murder in return for a gargantuan fast-food feast. He received a bucket of KFC chicken, a bucket of Popeye's chicken, a serving of mashed potatoes, a serving of coleslaw, a slice of carrot cake, a pizza, two calzones, a tray of lasagna and a bucket of ice cream. The entire proceeding cost the state of Oregon a mere $41.70.

As Durham discovers that justice is sometimes served with a side of cole slaw, I'm going to start taking the idea of fast food addiction a lot more seriously...