I can't, and I know it. But does that qualify me for world renown? Maybe, if I gather my gumption and enter the American Egg Board's second annual search for the Worst Cook in America.
Why the American Egg Board is hosting such a contest perplexes me a bit. I mean, for those of us who are challenged in the culinary arts, eggs are relatively forgiving fare. Even I can make scrambled eggs. I can make an omelet. I've even taught myself how to make a decent Tortilla Espanola (although it took many tries).
Have you ever stood at your stove cooking pasta sauce and you realize it's too watery, and you don't have any tomato paste, flour, or corn starch? Here's how to thicken it.
Today is National Eggs Benedict Day and man, do I wish it were a weekend so I could have some runny-yolked goodness for brunch!
Traditional Eggs Benedict is simply poached eggs on a round of Canadian bacon perched on a split English muffin, covered in a soft yellow blanket of hollandaise. But, as brunch.org (I love that "brunch" deserves its own "org!") points out, there are lots of great variations. How would you like some Country Eggs Benedict (poached eggs and sausage gravy over ham on a biscuit) or Eggs Maryland (poached eggs and hollandaise over crab cakes) or Eggs a la Commodore (poached eggs and Béchamel sauce over foie gras puree on buttered toast circles).
Kids will be kids, right? Well, in the town of Caister-on-Sea, near Great Yarmouth (about three hours from London), police have asked local grocers to help out in preventing kids from being quite so kid-like. Area residents were reporting having ketchup squirted at their cars and, while that's not a criminal act on its own, if the ketchup were to cause damage to the paint, the perpetrators would be liable.
So the police went to the grocery stores and asked them to stop selling ketchup (and eggs) to young people in bulk amounts, in order to prevent this "anti-social behavior." Apparently the action is making a difference, as without easy access to their chosen mischief media, the teens are settling back into their law-abiding behavior.
I know. Could we get over the eggs already? You already know I can't because I love hard boiled eggs, plus, I have this "thing" for salt and pepper shakers.
I realize that you are probably tired of eggs, being that it's just a few days after Easter and you've probably still got a dozen hardboiled hanging out in your fridge. However, if you can handle thinking about them just a little bit longer, then you've got to check out this book. It is one of the more beautiful cookbooks that has crossed my path in a long time and, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't buy any more cookbooks until I was actively using the 200 or so that I already have, I just wasn't able to resist buying Michel Roux's Eggs.
In addition to being a downright lovely book, it is also accessible and useful. It touches on every aspect of the egg, from chemistry and safety, to how to best storage your eggs and ways in which you can get the best flavor out of them. It starts with the basics of hardboiled eggs (although I'm guessing you probably already have that covered) and proceeded to walk you through some of the most glorious frittatas, omelets, mousses, custards and baked egg delights. If you often have people over for brunch, this book will help you think about using eggs in new and creative ways. I can't wait to try out some of its recipes.
Heidi over at 101 Cookbooks has thoughtfully rounded up some of her favorite egg recipes, just in case you have any left over from Easter weekend dying projects. Recipes include: a potato onion frittata with cilantro chile sauce; curried egg salad with yogurt, curry powder, pecans, and chopped apples; baked eggs with cherry tomatoes, garlic and olive oil; and poached eggs with chard over rice.
One of my favorite egg dishes is strata, a casserole of egg, chunks of slightly stale bread, cheese, and any vegetables you like (I favor artichoke hearts and roasted red peppers). Here's a recipe for an easy spinach and cheese strata, which will take up nine of your leftover eggs. Any egg favorites of your own?
Cybele over at Candy Blog just had an all-egg week, eating and rating candy Easter eggs for your benefit. Read her opinions on Melster Marshmallow Eggs, Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, Wonka Golden Creme Eggs and more, with a 1-10 rating and a chart of prices and calories per ounce. There are also a few posts on high-end chocolate bunnies and a diatribe against "mockolate" - the nasty fake chocolate so commonly used in cheap holiday candy.
Sample obsessive detail: Peeps that come inside the special chocolate eggs are softer than the Peeps from the box, Cybele says, probably because the shell seals in the moisture. Personally, I like the firmer feel of stale Peeps, sometimes even puncturing the cellophane and leaving the box in the pantry for a few days until it reaches the desired texture. But when it comes to Easter candy, I'll take a Cadbury Creme Egg, cracked open and eaten with a spoon.
Want to see how far American cuisine has come in the past 40 years? Check out the Mid-Century Supper Club on Flickr, where members lovingly recreate heinous 50s and 60s dishes like hot dogs suspended in aspic and olive-studded sandwich loaf. Dishes are served in retro crockery; some are even posed in front of their inspirations, photos from vintage cookbooks and 1962 issues of Good Housekeeping.
I am particularly fond of the higher-concept items, such as the "Three Men in a Boat" - baked potato boats with button mushroom sailors and American cheese sails - or the banana "airplane" - a banana with chocolate wafer wings, flying through whipped cream clouds. Time to tie on an apron and bust out the Jello.
Though invented sometime in the late 19th century, Eggs Benedict is still, in my opinion, the ne plus ultra of brunch foods. But a lot of people (including myself) are put off by making hollandaise and poaching eggs. Well this twist on the classic brunch dish, from Bon Appétit, does away with the hollandaise, replacing it with a gorgeous but unintimidating chive oil. Prosciutto takes the place of Canadian bacon and asparagus adds a springy touch. Serve over traditional English muffins, or skip them in place of something else. We had these for brunch at my parents' this morning (thanks, Dad!), over cornmeal biscuits.
Egg-poaching tips: adding a little vinegar to the cooking water helps the egg white to solidify faster, cutting down on feathering. Make sure the water is simmering, not boiling, when you put the eggs in - vigorous bubbling will break the whites. And use the freshest eggs you can; they spread less.
There's something about this photo of a salad that calls out to me. The bright yellow of the broken egg yolk, contrasted against the neatly cut bits of bacon and the tangle of greens. Topped with a dusting of black pepper, nothing would make me happier than if someone would put this down in front of me and hand me a fork. There's even a blog post about it here.
If you've made a gorgeous salad lately, you should head on over to the Slashfood Flickr group and share your creation. Maybe it will even end up featured in this space!
Eggs are cheap, versatile and rich in high-quality protein. But up until now, they've always been so insipidly...oval.
Well the Japanese are changing all that, with hard-boiled egg molds. These brightly colored plastic contraptions will turn your boring old oval egg into a cartoon fish, star, ghost or, of course, Hello Kitty. Simply drop in a freshly boiled and shelled egg while it's still warm, close the mold and pop in the fridge for a few minutes.
The crafty folks over at Flickr's bento box appreciation site often use molded eggs as part of their adorable Japanese-style boxed lunches - egg chickens laying on nests of julienned zucchini, egg bunnies dashing through broccoli forests, etc. I was so inspired I bought a mold of my own while visiting San Francisco's Japantown last week and have since been enjoying fish- and car-shaped eggs for breakfast. If only my mom had known about these when my brother was a picky toddler who only ate his PB&Js cut into dinosaur shapes!
A wide variety of egg molds are available at eBay's Store in Japan.
One of the first things I learned to do in the kitchen was crack an egg. I was four years old and standing on a step stool next to my dad, 'helping' him make pancakes on a Saturday morning. He showed me how to hold the egg firmly but carefully and tap it against the edge of the counter top. I remember the thrill I felt that he had trusted me with something so fragile and that I succeeded in not messing it up.
Over the years I've broken countless eggs (in must be in the thousands by now, in the last two weeks alone I've gone through three dozen). I've never thought of it as a onerous or trying task. I certainly didn't think that it was something that required its own utensil to do the job right. However, the human mind loves to create and so someone has invented the egg cracker, a tool that keeps your hands away from the mess of the egg white.
I can actually see how this might be useful for people who have disabilities or reduced motor control. However, for the rest of the folks out there, I think this one doesn't belong in the kitchen. What do you think? Useful tool or useless dust collector?
There's really nothing I love more than scrambled eggs and cheese between a bread-like substance of some stripe. I like breakfast sandwiches, and I love breakfast burritos and taco (or huevos rancheros perched on toasted corn tortillas). I have a very hard time resisting their siren song. Digging around in the Slashfood photo pool, I came across this image by the Homesick Texan and knew immediately that it was today's Food Porn Daily picture. I am especially charmed by the blackened bits on the tortilla (I find charring to be swoon-worthy).
If you'd like to see your food photography featured in this space, head over to the Slashfood Flickr group, join up and start adding your images.
Have you ever stashed a Coke in the freezer, hoping to chill it quickly, then forgotten all about it, only to have it explode all over your frozen peas?
So you think you can cook?
I know. Could we get over the eggs already? You already know I can't because 
I realize that you are probably tired of eggs, being that it's just a few days after Easter and you've probably still got a dozen hardboiled hanging out in your fridge. However, if you can handle thinking about them just a little bit longer, then you've got to check out this book. It is one of the more beautiful cookbooks that has crossed my path in a long time and, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't buy any more cookbooks until I was actively using the 200 or so that I already have, I just wasn't able to resist buying Michel Roux's 
Cybele over at 
Eggs are cheap, versatile and rich in high-quality protein. But up until now, they've always been so insipidly...oval.
A fraking amazing Battlestar Galactica cake
Iced Tea 101
Pierogies + cheese + onions + kraut = Parmageddon!
