"AshleyByrne" news and stories

Fish are not particularly cuddly animals: they lack warmth, fur, scratchy tongues, and personalities. They don't seem to show much interest in cuddling with humans, playing with catnip, or generally engaging in fun, photogenic activities.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) recently came to the conclusion that this lack of cuddliness is the reason that so many people eat fish. Consequently, they have begun a campaign to rename the aquatic beasts "sea kittens." As campaign coordinator Ashley Byrne notes, "Most parents would never dream of spending a weekend torturing kittens for fun with their families, but hooking a sea kitten through the mouth and dragging her through the water is the same as hooking a kitten through the mouth and dragging her behind your car."

This argument, admittedly, brings to mind about a million rebuttals, but I am inclined to let the differences between fish and kittens speak for themselves. It seens necessary to point out, however, that cats are friendlier than fish and that fish (aka "tofu of the sea") are far stupider than cats. Moreover, while fish taste like fish, my experience has shown that cats actually taste like sesame chicken.