My daughter is addicted to Dirty Jobs
, a Discovery Channel show in which the host tries out the filthiest, nastiest jobs in the country. Watching him work his way through a septic system or clean gum off a sidewalk, it's hard to imagine worse tasks than the ones that he regularly undertakes. However, in a recent move, Japan and Kit Kat seem to have figured out an innovative new way to lower the bar on horrifyingly bad employment.
Kit Kat's new Human Vending Machines
combine the best elements of convenience foods, automatic vending, and slavery in one brutally delicious, schadenfreude
-laden package. Basically a snack machine with a human being trapped inside, the machines put a personal face on candy vending transactions. Users put in their money, make their choice, and ask the man inside to send out the chocolate. The vendor, in turn, smiles at the customer, grabs the candy, and drops it into a slot.
There is no word yet on whether, underneath their smiles, the anonymous vendors are dying inside, asking themselves what series of bad choices led them to become nameless cogs in a snack-distribution empire. Similarly, one has to wonder if any of the vendors has found himself on a weekend-long alcoholic bender after selling a candy bar to his former prom date, a slickly-attired professional who pretended that she didn't recognize him.
Perhaps I'm projecting.