Meet The Writers / Stefani Pollack

I know people swallow it (note that I will not reveal my own preference - this is not one of those sites), however the concept of cooking it up into a gourmet meal is totally new to me. I'm speaking, of course, of semen and the new book, "Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes" by Paul Photenhauer.

In the book, Paul tell us that, "Semen is not only nutritious, but has a palatable texture and wonderful cooking properties." It's a widely available ingredient and the flavor is complex like a fine wine. Depending on the male's diet, the flavor will vary.

The book contains recipes for the almost white Russian, man made oysters, tuna sashimi with dipping sauce (you know what that is), and (if I may insert editorial opinion here), the grossest of them all, creamy cum crepes.

Paul does give the all-important warning, "Please do not add semen to your guest's food without informing them beforehand," and I thank him for that. While I'm typically OK risking it with a mystery meat on my plate and have even gone so far as to eat fried bugs, I would definitely need a warning and perhaps a doctor's seal of approval on the producing male before digging in to any dish from Natural Harvest.

Are you totally disgusted or would you try it?

Natural Harvest is available for $24.99 at Lulu.com. You can also find pictures there of some of the other recipes.

Last night, I had the luck of experiencing a six course tasting meal at Monarch (a top St. Louis restaurant). Everything was mouth-watering, but the item that got me the most excited was the black garlic. It was sugary sweet and garlicky at the same time with a balsamic-like flavor.

Our table went back and forth debating what made it black. Was it soaked in balsamic? Did it just grow that way? As stated on none other than blackgarlic.com, "There's only one ingredient-garlic. It's aged for a month in a special fermentation process under high heat, where it develops its darker color, softer texture, and sweeter taste. Amazing what a month can do."

I'll be seeking out black garlic in the future and I suggest that you do the same.

I've never met a pumpkin pie that I didn't like. It's hard to really screw up this Fall staple. However, getting it just right is also a challenge. One of the more bizarre incarnations of pumpkin pie that I've experienced was when I dated an extremely health-conscious pumpkin pie lover who would make pumpkin pies using soft tortilla shells as a crust. I am not endorsing that variety of "pie," although I had no problem eating it!

My least favorite pumpkin pies are the ones that have so much sugar that you can't taste the pumpkin. I experienced one such pie the other night from Sam's Club. Hopefully, the people who served me that pie are not Slashfood readers.

If you are in the mood for an easy pumpkin pie that has a real crust and actually tastes like pumpkin, I would highly recommend the frozen pumpkin pie from Wholly Wholesome. Check out the ingredient list: pumpkin, water, organic cane sugar, organic wheat flour, vegetable oil (palm oil, soybean oil), milk, eggs, organic whole wheat flour, sea salt, cinnamon, ginger, cloves. I didn't feel too bad about putting those things into my body. Well, I did feel a little bad after I ate a quarter of the pie in one sitting.

Cupcakes are single-serving personal desserts that you don't have to share with anyone else - at least that used to be the case. Wilton has created a cake pan designed to look like a cupcake. The way it works is that there are two cake molds: one for the top of the cupcake and one for the base cake. James made two of these giant cupcakes on Halloween and they fed 30 people!

The "cupcakes" sure do look adorable, but I like my personal, little cupcake just for me - thank you very much. If we are going to call these cupcakes at all, we should definitely be clear that they are double D cups.

Should you want to try to make them, first buy the Wilton cupcake pan. Then, check out James for some great baking tips.

The National Confectioners Association lives in a world of candy all year long. What do they do at the office to celebrate the day devoted to candy? I would expect much revelry and perhaps even the day off of work. There would be lots and lots of free candy for all employees - maybe even candy flying out of windows onto the streets!

According to the Candy Dish Blog (the official blog of the National Confectioners Association), they have a pot luck lunch. I'm a bit disappointed with this news. However, at least someone brought in a cake laden with candy. As you can see in the photo, there is lots of candy all around the cake. Thanks goodness!

Does your workplace have them beaten? What are you doing today?