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As Drew Harwell, staff writer for the St. Petersburg Times, reports, honey buns have taken the nation's penal system by storm. Yes, it seems hardened criminals across the country are eagerly lining up for these cellophane-wrapped sugar-and-fat bombs (the same sort that you find in all manner of vending machines) like kids making a beeline for the ice cream truck in July. (Though most third-graders aren't armed with homemade shivs.)
In Florida alone, inmates buy 270,000 honey buns a month, outselling all types of tobacco and cans of Coke. Their favorite honey bun of all: Mrs. Freshley's Grand Honey Bun, which, with its hardened crust of bleach white frosting looks more like a plastic parody of baked goods than an actual baked good.
But when your choices are limited and you're forced to eat whatever the state can afford to feed you on the equivalent of just under $2 per inmate per day, who's going to fault you for your lack of culinary discrimination? Besides, these buns have a shelf life that may just match the prisoner's sentence.
In any case, as Harwell reports, the honey buns have taken on a life of their own in the big house. They've been used to sweeten bootleg wine made from orange juice at a prison in North Carolina, while an inmate in Virginia used his cache of honey buns to pay his public defense attorneys after they saved him from the electric chair.
But all is not sweetness and light when it comes to honey buns behind bars. In 2006, a Michigan inmate dragged his cellmate from his bunk and killed him. Why? Because he couldn't find his honey bun.
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1-10-2011 @8:23PM jailhouserock said... One reason the inmates may buy more Honey Buns than Tobacco products in prison is because
most prisons are tobacco free. All Federal prisons are completely tobacco free since April 2006.
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1-11-2011 @5:26PM Judi said... Plus that crappy garbage for a diet keeps them unhealthy, costing more in healthcare in the long run.
1-10-2011 @8:18PM Dalton said... Honey buns are popular- but Ramen Noodles are by far the food (and currency) of choice. Buns are worth more by about 75 cents, so the cheap 28 cent Ramen noodles are used on a regular basis to barter, trade, gamble, etc.
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1-10-2011 @8:46PM lita said... Sounds like you miss your time behind bars....
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1-10-2011 @8:56PM Ann said... Ya know, I don't think it is a bit funny to talk about those in prison or to make fun of them. My son is in prison for a dui. Yes he was guilty and thank God he did not kill anyone, but it hurts to hear people talk crap and make fun, that does not make him a heathan. He is a good person, he has a problem with drinking and I pray to God that he is whole when he comes home. If not then he will pay the piper again. Have a little mercy on the parents. We feel like we have failed as a parent enough without other people judging us. Clean up you're own backyards before you complain about mine.
A Mother
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1-10-2011 @9:50PM Hope said... then WHY are you reading this? this article isn't about your potential-killer drunk driving son, it's about HONEYBUNS. a sugary snack eaten in prisons. sheesh
1-10-2011 @9:25PM Louis said... I agree with you. Very well said.
1-10-2011 @9:26PM Mike said... Well said, Ann! After serving 5 yrs, which I surely deserved.....and being a reformed, hard-working father of 2 and 15 years removed from the system.........it may seem comical to some to read this article. That being said, let me assure you that the food given to inmates is rotten~ bordering on just downright "foul." Yes, honey buns were a "treat." So were Ramen noodles. So, why it may seem funny reading about prisoner neglect, keep in mind that we are still human and need to be treated as such. Too little of that is present in our current penal system. Thus, don't scratch your heads wondering why a recently released inmate goes on a "rampage' upon release. Treat 'us like animals......we just might act accordingly! Now, laugh at that. :)
1-10-2011 @10:05PM wolfpup28 said... @mike... you are an idiot... you are the one who deserves to be behind bars... it sounds to me like you envy being someone's bitch, or where you simply not man enough to prevent it during your stay? people like you who spread hate need to be removed from the general population before your disease kills us all... AND every last person has broken or will break a law... this is a FACT... someone speeding can cause a death as easily as anyone...
@Ann... may your hopes come true about your son, though he will only change if he wants to... all we can do is to strive to help those who want to change, and always spread messages of love and hope to as many as possible in our daily lives... it's surprising what positive energy can do for ourselves and those around us... once you can get past the idiots out there... may the light shine upon you and yours for all of your days...
1-10-2011 @11:23PM kat25923 said... that's right & sky blue, u are not impressive nor are u skyblue u are more stormcloud black/purple/bruise blue and that is no compliment A-hole, beings u are such 'superior intelligence'
lol :D
1-11-2011 @12:12AM SkyBlue said... And kat25923, you are incoherent. But what else could I expect?
1-11-2011 @2:57AM d-man said... i guess your son won't just be having honey buns, but also tossing salads as well that is very popular in jails
1-10-2011 @9:40PM MIKEY said... Sugar! Ever heard of it? Necessary to make "Hooch", idiots!
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1-10-2011 @9:36PM abc said... I worked in a prison for 30 years. The worst thing I ever saw inmates eat was something they called a "break". Each inmate would contribute a food item...sardines, doritos, ramen noodles, tuna, cheese sauce, chili, etc. All would be dumped into a bowl and heated in a microwave. Then each contributor would eat a portion. It looked like slop.
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1-10-2011 @10:12PM wolfpup28 said... i have a friend who introduced me to 'breaks', despite the looks, they are actually not bad, although i did not have to endure sardines... he claims to have used only what was available in prisons... ramen soups, chili, summer sausage and cheese mainly... i can't imagine it being worse that some of the supposedly healthy meals that he described coming out of the kitchens there... although he did admit that some was not bad...
1-10-2011 @9:49PM SkyBlue said... No lita, that would be you.
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1-10-2011 @10:03PM Ann said... Mike,,, How old are you? Do you have any children? I pray for you that you never have to feel what a parent feels when their child does stupid things. Also, my son will never be someone's (Bitch) he is stronger than you will ever hope to be. As I said he is a good man, he just made some mistakes. Those of you who are sinless(by Gods word) cast the first stone.
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1-10-2011 @10:58PM lesa said... Ann..I feel for you as a parent, kids make mistakes that hurt the parents as much as themselves. I pray everything works out well for you and your son when he comes home. God bless u!
1-10-2011 @10:07PM Mary said... What a crude remark you made, hope you don't ever end up there or maybe you have and you have shared your honeybuns already.
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1-10-2011 @10:11PM Mary said... Mike you should be ashamed of attacking someone's mother that way, god forbid you or your brood ever end up in prison, unfortunately there are more criminals outside prisons than inside, who knows you may be one yourself. I myself worked in the system, yes there are bad and YES there are many in there that are paying for their crimes, they deserve their due as we all do.
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