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Photo: Erik R. Trinidad
With the overwhelming success of Slumdog Millionaire, Indian entertainers, from director M. Night Shyamalan to comedian Aziz Ansari, are moving beyond Bollywood and becoming more prominent in the American pop-culture scene. NBC even has a sitcom, "Outsourced," that takes place in an Indian call center--and it's been a controversial call for the network. (Some critics claim the show is rife with bad stereotypes.)
It's time to reciprocate, and take something from the American pop culture and make it Indian -- from a fast-food perspective, of course. White Castle already has associations with Harold & Kumar, so let's go get a pizza, after the jump.
Ingredients (from Pizza Hut):
- 1 medium Hand Tossed–Style Pizza with chicken, onions, and tomatoes; extra sauce, but easy on the cheese (unsliced)
- 1 order of buffalo wings (6) with blue cheese dressing (2)
- 3 orders of marinara sauce
- 1 bottle of water
- Organic coriander (for garnish and an extra touch of irony)
Pick the chicken, tomatoes, and onions off the pizza pie with your hands, then scrape off the cheese or any extra topping pieces with a fork. Put all the toppings into a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir in all the marinara sauce, followed by all the blue cheese dressing. Pour in water as needed to give it a smoother texture. When it's all mixed together, it should begin to resemble the orange hue of a masala sauce. Add the chicken wings, and smother them so they are well coated. Let simmer for about 10 minutes on low heat.
Hopefully you ordered the pizza unsliced so that you can make some fake naan. Take the empty crust, flip it over, and flatten it further with a rolling pin. Then fold it in half, and then into a quarter. (When you fold it, it resembles naan, which is the perfect accompaniment for the dish.)
To plate the food, spoon the chicken pizza masala into a small serving dish, and garnish it with chopped coriander. Serve it with your fake naan, and enjoy. Namaste!
Erik R. Trinidad -- who is not a trained chef but enjoys recreational cooking -- is the creator of Fancy Fast Food, where fast food goes through an extreme makeover without the use of any additional ingredients (other than an occasional garnish). This is his twelfth post for Slashfood. Check out his travel blog at TheGlobalTrip.com, plus more mock recipes and videos at FancyFastFood.com.
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10-22-2010 @9:13AM esther said... oh wow. This looks amazing but I don't think I'd be able to eat it. =)
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10-24-2010 @1:17AM JAMES said... PEPTO BISMOL MUST BE RAKING IN A LOT OF MONEY.
10-21-2010 @2:21PM Stephen O said... I've actually had that pizza at Pizza Hut in India a few weeks ago. The one thing I noticed was they used barely any cheese or tomato sauce on any pizza there and were more then liberal with the masala. Also, if you are going to make this Pizza make sure you wash it down with Masala Lime Ice Tea (take a regular lime ice tea and dump about 2 table spoons of Masala mix in it). Finish off with some Pepto Bismol.
The other thing I noticed is how upper middle class Indian people eat there (it is very expensive by Indian and even western standards) to experience western food (sans beef obviously) but then have the employees doing Indian Bollywood dances and asking the customers to ring a huge gong when they leave. What an odd experience.
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10-21-2010 @5:12PM cathy said... This is a joke right? And then you take everything and throw it in a blender and drink it... http://newsy1.wordpress.com
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10-23-2010 @4:54PM dickn2000b said... How can ANYTHING from Pizza Hut, no matter how much it's doctored up, be called "Fancy Food?" The exectuives at Pizza Hut are so unknowledgable about Italian cuisine they have advertised on their menus, "Meaty Marinara Sauce." Genuine Italian marinara sauce is, by definition, meatless.
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10-23-2010 @5:58PM Tony said... This is the first time a junk drozen pizza and cook at home would be better than this crap.
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10-23-2010 @7:09PM AJ said... This it a waste of energy and time. Completely useless and stupid. Buy a cookbook!
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10-23-2010 @7:24PM missingkitsune said... there is nothing, no re-dressing or anything that could be done that would tempt me to eat anything from pizza hut. their product is disgustingly awful. it's so spicy it makes me ill. i'll take pizza from the little shop down the street faster than cookie cutter cardboard pizza.
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