Photo: Erik R. Trinidad
The raw food movement may be getting plenty of attention these days, but it's been practiced by people for millennia -- from the first caveman who bit into an uncooked, prehistoric McRib before fire was invented, to celebrity raw food diet-endorsing Demi Moore, who has been munching on raw vegetables since before Ashton Kutcher was invented.
Fast-food chains haven't really embraced raw foods (other than their salads) but that doesn't mean you can't pretend things are raw. For this mock recipe, we're making a faux beef carpaccio – and what classier place to get our freshly sliced beef than the fast-food home of roast beef sandwiches.
Ingredients (from Arby's):
- 1 Super Roast Beef Sandwich
- 1 roast turkey and Swiss sandwich
- 1 order of jalapeño bites
- 1 side salad
- 1 medium fruit punch
- packets of Arby's Sauce and Horsey Sauce
First, take apart the roast beef sandwich and discover what we already know: the roast beef isn't raw, it's roasted, and it's brown. Raw beef is supposed to be red, so we're going to have to dye the beef. This is where the fruit punch comes in. Pour the fruit punch into a non-stick skillet and bring it to a boil so that it starts reducing. We want the red syrupy goodness to thicken before putting in slices of the roast beef. Coat both sides of the meat until it soaks up the red liquid, and then place the meat on a fancy white platter.
The red syrup will almost immediately start to dry out, so use a pastry brush to reapply the syrup as needed. For extra redness, you can brush on some packets of the reddish Arby's sauce as well.
Meanwhile, skin the jalapeño bites, slice them the long way into strips, then use them to garnish the plate. While you're at the cutting board, cut the Swiss cheese from the turkey sandwich into smaller pieces; use this for garnish too. For added flair, drizzle some Horsey sauce on top with a squeeze bottle. Finally, top the meat with some greens from the side salad and, if you want, slice the bread and buns into smaller pieces to serve it on the side. Presto! It's so easy, even a caveman could do it -- or Demi Moore, if she ever felt like it.
Erik R. Trinidad -- who is not a trained chef but enjoys recreational cooking -- is the creator of Fancy Fast Food, where fast food goes through an extreme makeover without the use of any additional ingredients (other than an occasional garnish). This is his eleventh post for Slashfood. Check out his travel blog at TheGlobalTrip.com, plus more mock recipes and videos at FancyFastFood.com.


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