In the Weeds for Wedding Wars - 'Top Chef Masters'

by Michael Thomas Hastings, Posted May 6th 2010 @ 11:00AM

Photo: Bravo

One question: Who decides which lucky newlyweds get to be a part of Top Chef's perennial "Wedding Wars" episode? And do they take bribes?

Frankly, we weren't planning nuptials anytime soon. But based on the spread served up by eight of the nation's best chefs on this week's Top Chef Masters, we'd like to know the shooting schedule for next season now, so we can get to the top of the list. Forget the registry -- we'd be marrying for the food.

"Wedding Wars" team challenges, of course, are a staple of the Top Chef franchise, along with piercings in strange parts of the body and the creative use of the f-word. But never has the challenge been done like this: Jonathan Waxman can make tarragon roast chicken for us anytime. Even the "boring" wedding food -- potatoes au gratin by Tony Montuano, crab cakes by Carmen Gonzalez -- looked mouthwatering, perfectly crusted and crunchy. And then there was the literal icing on the cake: Five -- five! -- separate desserts by Susur Lee.

Jody Adams winced when the bride said she didn't like lamb, among the myriad other things she also didn't like -- shellfish, meats, grains, everything was dismissed with an upturned nose and a "not so much" or "that's not for me."

But Adams was determined to change the bride's mind, and did she ever: Her rare rack of lamb with autumn veggies was a textbook example of how the protein should be cooked, and the looks on the judges' and wedding guests' faces on first bite -- that hard-to-replicate "wow" moment -- made it fairly clear early on that she would eventually walk away with the evening's top prize.

The rest of her team followed suit. Waxman provided his chicken while Rick Moonen served up a mixed-seafood dish full of rich, deep flavors that nonetheless felt a little out of place in this lineup. The clinically ebullient Susan Feniger bowled over the guests with a killer potato fritter app, but misfired with a semolina wedding cake that might've sounded great on paper, but translated into a hilarious tower of crumbly, sandpaper-dry cake drenched in whipped cream and berries.

Meanwhile, in his short time on Masters, whiz-kid Marcus Samuelsson has offered up a whole lot of braggadocio backed up with a formidable talent: His ego knows no bounds, but neither do his bold, pan-cultural flavors.

But his cockiness got the best of him this week: After saying "I am the best" about a dozen times to the camera, the judges gave his sauce-stuffed filet of beef less-than-stellar marks -- even as Gael Greene noted that the "mushy" texture would no doubt go over well with a wedding crowd misinterpreting it as "tender."

Still, "bad marks" is a relative term with this bunch, and sadly, it was Gonzalez who got the boot instead -- for a perfectly executed if meagerly conceived crab cake and corn salad that prompted the judges to wonder, "Where's Carmen?" Because among talent like this, the worst sin of all is not overreaching -- or even pandering, as Samuelsson might've been accused of doing -- but rather, losing your sense of self.

Filed Under: Television/Film
Tags: jody adams, Jonathan Waxman, marcus samuelsson, rick moonen, Susur Lee, top chef, top chef masters, top chef masters season two, wedding wars