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The Cost of Sharing Entrees - What Can I Get You Folks?

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More than two decades ago, the nation's collective moral conscience was momentarily seized by minister Robert Fulghum's credo All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, a warm and fuzzy list of rules for living that led off with the presumably uncontroversial dictum "share everything."

I didn't need to read Fulghum's official biography to know he'd never worked as a restaurant server (although it was interesting to discover he'd been a ditch digger and a singing cowboy.)

Servers generally hate sharing. Not with each other, of course – it's common to find a restaurant's last slice of pie in the server station with seven forks surrounding it. The trouble comes when customers exhibit the same behavior, insisting on splitting entrees instead of ordering their own.

The problem's largely a financial one: The decision to order one plate instead of two costs me about $5, a pretty significant sum that could have been used to buy my lunch the next day. Many restaurant owners, who are equally interested in getting guests to eat full portions, have instituted plate sharing fees to discourage such menu mischief.

But entrée sharing bothers me for another reason. It violates the spirit of restaurant going, which should involve a bit of indulgence and an appreciation of the chef's craft. At the movies, paying $6 for the film's first half isn't an option. Nor do orchestras offer patrons a discount if they promise to listen only to the woodwinds. I'm always surprised when guests are disappointed when their divided lobster arrives as two ugly, hacked-up bits, or a split order of chowder looks paltry in the bowl. Most restaurant dishes aren't designed to be shared. One entrée per person is a core element of the restaurant experience.

That said, I'm all for guests meting out samples or arranging an impromptu family-style feast. Still, the ratio of person to entrée should hold.

If you must share, I hope you will tip as though you'd ordered appropriately for two. And don't expect the kitchen to do the splitting for you. Even better, remember another rule every kindergartener knows: Eat what's on your plate.

Filed Under: Restaurants
Tags: featured, restaurant etiquette, waitress stories, WaitressStories, what can i get you folks

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Reader comments (Page 5 of 6)

RichS

3-25-2010 @10:49PM RichS said... I have to assume that this article refers to a "fine dining" experience and not the neighborhood diner since it talks about losing $5 and splitting a lobster (let's see, $5 would be a 15% tip on a $33 entree; I'm assuming that folks who are splitting a dinner to be cheap won't tip well). Most restaurants that my wife and I go to either serve reasonable portions or are willing to split a large entree. A "sharing" fee is fine, just like a "cork" charge at a bring-your-own-bottle establishment; there are warewashing expenses to cover, after all. We never expect the kitchen to split a serving.

I -have- seen "one entree per diner" stated on a menu! This was an issue when dining out with my 110-lb. mother-in-law who simply cannot eat a 12-oz. steak or 1-1/2 lbs. of pasta. (The waiter was fine with her ordering an appetizer, soup and a salad.)

While it's true that paying $6 for the first half of a film is not an option, renting the DVD and watching it with the whole family -is-. I don't want to take in every movie in "IMAX" portions anyway.
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dbluefish

3-25-2010 @11:00PM dbluefish said... Not share? Add a fee? If a restaurant were to do that to me, it would be the last time I ate there. For us, two whole entrees are too much to eat so two salads and one entree workd perfectly. As to tips, well if I order a less expensive entree, you will get a lesser tip (meal @ 20%-if good service)so consider a split entree to be a lesser entree. You do not have to like it but you work for me and get the tip you deserve and i get to choose what to eat. End of dicussion!

paul
tallahassee
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Chad

3-25-2010 @11:20PM Chad said... Tipping: v. the giving of something for nothing of value based on generally accepted social norms.

Tipping is a joke. If I don't want to tip, I won't. If that's a financial problem for restaurant owners, then just raise the price of your food and be done with it. I tip good service...but I refuse to automatically subsidize the wages of the owner's employees so they can keep more profit. Why don't we tip at McDonald's? They bring the food to the counter...many times the walk is about as far as a table is in a different restaurant. Do we tip the mailman for bringing the mail everyday? Do we tip the garbage guy? Do we tip the meter readers? No. Why should waiters be some privileged class. Give me good service and you'll get a couple of bucks. If you bring the food and then disappear, tough.
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SJ

3-25-2010 @11:34PM SJ said... Ridiculous! I hate when I go to a restaurant and the server will do things like charge me for plate sharing or refuse to let me order off of the children's menu. I can't eat a lot of food in one sitting. Why should I pay for extra food that I'm not going to eat? I am usually a generous tipper, but If you force me to buy food that I can't eat, you won't receive a tip from me at all.
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Happy Jack

3-26-2010 @8:17PM Happy Jack said... >> Servers generally hate sharing.

I'm paying for the food. It's mine. I'll share it with who I like and do with it as I please.

>> Many restaurant owners, who are equally interested in getting guests to eat full portions, have instituted plate sharing fees to discourage such menu mischief.

That's a good way to keep me from spending my money in their restaurants. I don't need them.

>> But entrée sharing bothers me for another reason. It violates the spirit of restaurant going, which should involve a bit of indulgence and an appreciation of the chef's craft.

You don't write the rules of dining out for me. I go where I please and order what I like and share with who I wish. Make the rules for yourself, not for us.

>> If you must share, I hope you will tip as though you'd ordered appropriately for two.

Of course any server would hope for that. Everyone is always trying to get into my pocket much deeper than what they deserve.

I have no problem tipping well for what I consider good service. Bring me what I desire without my having to ask more than once for it. Know that if I order an iced tea that I will desire a long spoon to stir it with. Know that I will want A-1 with my steak. Know that cream is to be delivered with a cup of coffee. Know that extra napkins should always be brought to my table.

Serve me with a smile and not one hint of an attitude and I will tip you at least 20%. The less I have to ask for, the more I will like you. I don't have to eat where you work. Be happy you have customers at your tables. If you don't like that you are not able to get as deep into my pocket as you desire, then get another job. If servers would stick together, they could be better compensated by their employers by refusing to work there unless they were offered better wages. The whole industry stinks the way it is run and how servers are paid and what is expected from the customer even if the service is sub-standard. I have expectations too.
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Gary

3-26-2010 @10:14AM Gary said... If you need A1 on your steak everytime perhaps you'd be happier with a burger? :)

Lynn

3-26-2010 @12:10AM Lynn said... Hanna, Hanna, Hanna! Many times, I order an appetizer or soup only, then share some of my husband's entree. Even at that it is usually too much food. If I'm going to splurge, it will be sharing a dessert instead of the overpriced entree! I lot of us are not big eaters and I can guarantee you that I may not clean my plate (but I will take the leftovers home for my dog!)
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chef

3-26-2010 @12:27AM chef said... I'm a chef and this article is horse pucky...... most the places I have worked a single meal is enough to feed two. What your hearing here is greed of a server(or a restaurant owener just wants to milk more profit from your pockets) who generally think they deserve a tip. Need I remind people this is the definition of TIP "a gratuity (a VOLUNTARY additional payment made for services rendered)" So quit your moaning when a two top comes in and orders for one. And be grateful for the tip you do receive. And a two top isn't hard to manage so quit complaining.......
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The River Rat

3-26-2010 @12:38AM The River Rat said... I take my kids out to eat every-now-and-then (son 14 and daughter 12.) Often, my daughter does not want a whole meal and when she does get one, she never finishes it. We go to a varity of places but when we want to have a nice meal, we often go to O'Charlies. The food is fair and the prices likewise. Our biggest complaint is that they never have a rare prime rib. All we want is a prime rib that looks like the one on the menue, but they NEVER have that. Often, the server tries to talk us into something else, say a ribeye at $5 or $6 more each. The service has been really bad lately. You have to flag down someone other than your server to even get to see your server. We sometimes split a prime rib between my daughter and I and she gets a bowl of their chicken taco soup for a meal(Yummy.) You remember who gives you bad service(always the same ones.) They remember who the bad tippers are too. I don't mind tipping 15-20% for good service, but it really galls me to even give 10% for REALLY bad service. This guy sounds like he would be one of those that would give REALLY bad service.
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r lipton

3-26-2010 @1:12AM r lipton said... wwe eat out five times a week.. if we didn't split we'd weigh twice asmuch....... always have a drink each and tip 25% can we come to your restaurant
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jim c

3-26-2010 @1:20AM jim c said... I am a waiter at a chain resteraunt that serves a large portion size but its the cheap stuff thats overdone.Its the pasta ,lettuce or mashed potatos never the chix ,shrimp or beef they feel it makes the guest like they are getting a good deal.The resteraunt is playing you.What piss's me off is "we not hungry we are going split the entree" no problem i bring the extra plate and it never fails you get can we have some more bread ,your hungry and you are cheap. By the way 2 5inch loafs of bread is a large portion.
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wade the red neck

3-26-2010 @1:22AM wade the red neck said... Tipping is a throwback to slavery days.
Why should they rely on the "kindness of strangers"?
Give them a working wage and shut the heck up...
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kent

7-13-2010 @6:48PM kent said... the writer is a airhead. Is it a wonder that over 50% of the population is now overweight. Servers should realize tips are not an automatic entitlement ... the tips are for service and should be awarded accordly to the amount of services one receives at an establishment. So I guess in a fine restaurant if you don't order drinks then the wait person is upset because they didn't get their "quote five dollars" because you chose not to partake. And as to the disappointment of the look of an split dish-- thats buying into the premise that servings have to be appear large to be a perceived value. If you assume that we should be eating approximately 1800 calories a day or at three meals a day you should consume 600 calories per meal...... What is the real calorie count for most of those huge offerings. But the new health care act is going to require any restaurant with more than twenty locations to start supplying the calorie count of each dish.
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marilyn

3-27-2010 @6:05PM marilyn said... When I was a server I had two ladies who came in once a month and split an entree. They saved all month just for that meal and to "go out". They would each give me a dollar tip. I was just glad they got to go out and was always more than happy to serve them. Sure I had bills to pay and kids, but they had the same deal and limited incomes so I hope they enjoyed themselves because they were always welcome at my staion. Also had a man who would come in and order tea. He just needed to get out and be around people, needed that contact. Two pots of tea and one tea bag. Who knows, maybe he lived longer just by doing that one little "social outing"
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Niall

3-30-2010 @3:22AM Niall said... What a whining, snarky, greedy, nasty post that was. We do not go to a restauurant to serve the needs of the owner or waitstaff. It is the other way around. Yes, a fair price must me paid but if two people find that one entree is adequate for both that is the way it is. I do think that a sharing fee is fair as long as it is reasonable. I can think of two restaurants where our wish to share was gladly accommodated and, you know what, we tend to go back. I will add that our gratuity is based on level of service and I believe it should be. If you are a server and happily (outwardly at least) accomodate diners who wish to share you are likely to be better off.


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shannan

3-26-2010 @2:50AM shannan said... Oh my Gosh....It never ceases to irritate me when these stupid articles tell people how they should live!!! In this economy I think restaurants would be happy to get any business they can. I go to a restaurant to enjoy myself......I don't go there to feel guilted into buying 2 meals so the waitress can get her nails done!
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Don

3-26-2010 @8:01AM Don said... If the government is doing iut why shouldn't everybody else.

Lia

3-26-2010 @3:26AM Lia said... You can't compare sharing a meal to sharing a movie ticket, any more than you can compare sharing the same pair of pants to sharing a car. They aren't the same. A meal can be shared; a movie ticket cannot, unless the first person sees the first half of the movie and the second person watches the second half. If someone wants to pay the full price for the meal and then share it with someone, that is their right since they paid fully for the meal. What they do with it after that is their business.
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Barbara Jansen

3-26-2010 @3:50AM Barbara Jansen said... Todays restaurants want to give you more food than one human should possibly eat. They charge enormous costs like 12-20 per plate and expect us not to share? What??? If they can't make normal human portions, then why not share? Who wants to take home fish and leave it sitting in the car while you're at the movie after dinner? Its either over eat or throw it away. Its a sin to throw away food, doncha know! I went to France and they portion out normal size portions. Walking around the street, there were almost no fat people walking on them. Those that were, were probably from the United States! Come on, restaurants! You don't have to give us enough pasta to feed a small family of four when its only one entree! Why force people to over eat! I think the temptation is so great, that is why obesity it out of control in this country. Sharing a meal is not only HEALTHIER but it is also economical. If you're going to mete out large portions, then expect people to share. Its a sin to throw out food and you know it like I do it never tastes right the next day as a left over. Also, it allow me to eat out more often if I can share with a friend.
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T

3-26-2010 @4:01AM T said... To the writer: Kiss my ass.
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116 Comments / 6 Pages

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