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I didn't need to read Fulghum's official biography to know he'd never worked as a restaurant server (although it was interesting to discover he'd been a ditch digger and a singing cowboy.)
Servers generally hate sharing. Not with each other, of course – it's common to find a restaurant's last slice of pie in the server station with seven forks surrounding it. The trouble comes when customers exhibit the same behavior, insisting on splitting entrees instead of ordering their own.
The problem's largely a financial one: The decision to order one plate instead of two costs me about $5, a pretty significant sum that could have been used to buy my lunch the next day. Many restaurant owners, who are equally interested in getting guests to eat full portions, have instituted plate sharing fees to discourage such menu mischief.
But entrée sharing bothers me for another reason. It violates the spirit of restaurant going, which should involve a bit of indulgence and an appreciation of the chef's craft. At the movies, paying $6 for the film's first half isn't an option. Nor do orchestras offer patrons a discount if they promise to listen only to the woodwinds. I'm always surprised when guests are disappointed when their divided lobster arrives as two ugly, hacked-up bits, or a split order of chowder looks paltry in the bowl. Most restaurant dishes aren't designed to be shared. One entrée per person is a core element of the restaurant experience.
That said, I'm all for guests meting out samples or arranging an impromptu family-style feast. Still, the ratio of person to entrée should hold.
If you must share, I hope you will tip as though you'd ordered appropriately for two. And don't expect the kitchen to do the splitting for you. Even better, remember another rule every kindergartener knows: Eat what's on your plate.
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3-25-2010 @1:14PM dogcow said... Violates the spirit of restaurant going?
The hell?
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3-25-2010 @1:25PM Scott said... But what about when restaurants (Cheesecake Factory, I'm looking at you) have "entrees" that are more like "feeds a family of 4"?
3-25-2010 @1:32PM Erin said... I don't get how this "violates the spirit of restaurant going." I go to a restaurant in large part because I don't feel like cooking/cleaning up. My dining partner and I may decide we aren't hungry enough to finish 2 entrees and don't want leftovers. Or we may want an appetizer and dessert as well (I have had the experience of getting an appetizer and then being barely hungry for my entree) and decide sharing an entree would be a better option. Or many other scenarios. Regardless, the spirit of restaurant going is, in my opinion, the luxury of not having to cook and clean up and enjoying time with friends or family. It doesn't have to be a 'luxury' in a sense of having to spend tons of money!
I understand the server's beef from a tip standpoint, in which case the restaurant can implement some sort of tipping policy. But I don't get how this violates the spirit of restaurant-going, and who decided that one entree per person is the 'core element'. The point is to enjoy a dinner out with less work on the part of the diner. Maybe sharing is part of the fun or experience for some people. Regardless, it's not the business of the restaurant staff, or their place to judge.
3-25-2010 @9:54PM Hannah said... I have worked as a waitress before, and sharing has never offended me. It's the same amount of work whether it's one person ordering one dish or two people ordering one dish, so who cares? I had an older couple who ALWAYS shared, and I thought it was so cute! Once I got to know their preferences I'd always take the time to put it on two plates for them if I could, because they were nice people. I think it's all about how you treat your server, not about how much food you order.
I think that articles like this make the restaurant industry look bad! Yes, it's a business and we're in it for the money, but who are we to judge how much food a person should order? We want our guests to have a pleasant experience and we want them to come back! Saying that people can't share because of some imaginary ratio is just silly. That's like saying that people shouldn't go to a restaurant by themselves because then it's only one plate and that's a waste of a table. If you are considerate and tip your server appropriately for what you ordered, then that's all we care about. I've actually been tipped more when two friends share, because they each leave me a little something. So don't worry, folks, we don't hold grudges for sharers!
3-25-2010 @9:55PM greg said... I ordered a serving of mashed potatoes once at the Cheesecake Factory and although they were great the serving must have weighed 1 1/2 pounds. The 4 of us at the table, along with our meals, could not finish them.
3-25-2010 @11:48PM IndyAnna said... Ditto dogcow. "Violates the spirit of restaraunt going" -- really?
3-26-2010 @12:00AM joe said... Its not about the money, My wife and I get an appetizer, a salad and one entree...That is more than enough food. We always tip well, but why waste food.
3-26-2010 @12:05AM ByTheNite said... Hannah, as another who has worked as a waitress in the past (for quite a few years, I may add), I could not have said it any better myself.
Great comment! :)
3-26-2010 @1:09AM Sherri said... I do not eat alot and my husband has had gastric by-pass surgery. What about situations like that. The food then goes to waste and why waste food.
3-26-2010 @2:19AM robert said... bs and poo. they are lucky we show up at their restaurants at all given the increasingly poor quality of food that is served, primed with salt and high fuctose corn sweeters, and the canned and processed foods laden with sodium that gets bonged into their microwavees. and don't forget the standard grade marinated beef....
3-31-2010 @4:17AM Karen said... The server needs to consider people like me and my husband. Both packing unhealthy extra weight and needing to "split" an entree especially a one pound burger or one half a chicken. My servers have even brought an extra plate and I make sure to tip extra for the consideration. The real "beef" I think the writer has is when people will not tip appropriately. Currently, I live in a "nontipper" town and have noticed things like a sad, lonely dollar bill or a quarter on the table after a party leaves. Twenty percent for good service or your poor waiter won't be able to pay the rent. Splitting should be welcome, next step is staying home because portion sizes are huge and so are we. Love, Diner in Denver
3-25-2010 @1:24PM David Milam said... I'll preface by saying I'm a generous tipper. For service that's anything above tolerable, I'll give 20% tip on the total bill routinely.
I have to disagree in part with this post. My wife and I split meals all the time. We never ask the kitchen to do the splitting. We just nicely ask the server to bring an extra plate.
And "Eat what's on your plate"? All of it? The entreé portions in the US are insane. I don't need 1000 calories at one sitting.
I know as a server this is out of your control, but when portion sizes and prices return to something resembling a reasonable meal for a human (not an average size US adult), we'll gladly order one entreé per person.
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3-25-2010 @10:08PM Frank & Jan said... David, we totally agree. In our case, if we could not split or share (depending on the type of meal) we would not go there in the first place. When we split, the portions are still too much at times. We also tip 20% and sometimes more especially it they split without me asking for an extra plate and of course the service provided is good. I usually do not respond to comments but we just returned from eating out and had a great split and super service. Thanks
3-25-2010 @10:59PM sugarcoatedtruth87 said... I've been both a waitress and a cook in a four star upscale restaurant for 4 years now. It is NOT offensive to split a dish... frankly its kind of disgusting to not split or at least take some of the portion home. If you think about how many calories can be in ONE DINNER ENTREE, and how LARGE that portion is, it is extremely difficult to fathom a family of four finishing one entree let alone ONE PERSON.
For instance, one slice of our plain cheesecake runs upwards of 500 calories. Its huge, its DELICIOUS, but in one sitting, you can ingest over 4000 calories.
A dish of pasta at a chain restaurant can average over 1 pound of pasta *without sauce* and that is over six servings if you were to make it at home. For some, finishing two servings of a dish is a chore... imagine finishing six alone! AHHH!
Waitresses, quit bitching. I've dealt with the best and the worst of patrons, and you buck up and take it in stride. If they want to share, they'll share. To have you hover over their table and then head back to a waitstation to bitch and stare at them is bad form. Grow up. They pay your paychecks. And then you wonder why you've never seen a decent tip...
3-27-2010 @2:53PM chelseajmartin said... I completely agree!
3-25-2010 @1:23PM Chad said... I disagree with just about everything written here, especially your cheap shot about people splitting entrees based on cost. Not true. I know lots of people who occasionally choose to split meals and it always has to do with portion size, not cost. If cost were the issue they'd just stay home. The fact of the matter is, portion size in this country has been way out of control for a long, long time. You want people to eat the whole thing? Make it smaller and keep the price fair for the portion.
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3-26-2010 @2:30PM Frank said... Not sure you understand how business works, Chad...
If they offer a smaller portion at a commensurate price, that's less $$$ in the door (and thus less profit), they need to either charge more for more food and give you "value" or make more money on a smaller portion.
Alternately they could be McDonald's and just operate a revolving door, where they offer cheap prices for cheap food and count on the fact that they will still sell millions of meals...
3-25-2010 @1:28PM Winelover said... The problem is portion sizes. They are just too big. When my wife and I go out, it has been quite a while since we each ordered an entree. There is just too much food, particularly if you order an appetizer. And not everything keeps well enough/reheats well enough to take home the leftovers.
While it is cheaper, that isn't the reason we do it. We just hate to waste food, and most restaurants give you enough for two with every entree.
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3-25-2010 @6:07PM Roberta said... When we go out, we always share samples of each other's meal, but we never ask to split an order no matter how large it is. We don't mind ordering full-sized entrees (or in the case of Cheesecake Factory and Claim Jumper, OVER-sized entrees) because we don't go out that often, so when we do its always a special occasion - and for the amount of money I'm paying I expect to bring home leftovers. A LOT of leftovers. And we always do. We LOVE leftovers. These feed me and my family for several meals in the days following our original restaurant visit, and so therefore make the outing worth the money we spent on it.
3-25-2010 @2:03PM David Bickford said... Maybe if more restaurants served reasonable portions, there would be less inclination to share. It's hard not to be tempted to share when an entree is large enough to serve two adults.
This statement, however, is really vexing: "One entrée per person is a core element of the restaurant experience. " Okay, does that mean no meals in tapas bars? What about restaurants serving East Asian cuisines (Chinese, Thai, etc.) in which sharing is the norm? What about sharing of appetizers and desserts? Is that equally annoying to the author?
I'm sure there are some downsides associated with entree sharing, but the sweeping generalizations in this post are unhelpful.
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