Top 5 Super Bowl Food Ads

Animals. Babies. Animals acting like people. People acting like animals and babies. And light beer. Lots and lots of light beer.

It's the simple things that get us buying again -- and few things come simpler than Super Bowl ads. Sure, all the usual themes were there: Men feeling dominated by work/women/the family pet? Drink some Bud Light! Drive a Dodge! Kids/arrested-adolescent men looking for some escapism? Jake Gyllenhaal/Russell Crowe/EA Games can help.

Women ... okay, there was really very little in the spots aired last night for women, unless they wanted to buy some Dove male body wash for their stinky, unkempt mates, or, in an ad that just missed our list, buy a rejuvenating Snickers for their anemic, Betty White-esque boyfriends.

If there was a new, recession-friendly theme last night, it was bargain meals from two big chains: One being Taco Bell, whose $5 meal pack was touted by an intentionally flat Charles Barkley -- at least, we hope it was intentional. The other, well, was by far the most irrationally funny moment of the evening -- we'll save that for a little later.

Drumroll, please, for our top 5 food-related Super Bowl ads, after the jump...
5. Bud Light Does Lost



There were so many beer ads -- scratch that, Bud ads -- last night, by the law of averages, at least one or two had to stick. True to their all-American brand, the ones for Bud proper were staid, "where's the punchline?" affairs: People form a bridge for a Bud truck to cross; the classic Bud Clydesdale horses are worshipped by their little bull friend. If there was a joke in either of them, it's doubtful even our great-great uncle would've laughed at it.

Better was the "dude who built a house out of Bud Light cans" spot, even if it wasn't as funny as it could've been. But for the brass ring (or is that a brass pop-top?), we'd have to go with their pitch-perfect Lost parody, wherein plane-crash survivors turn down a chance at rescue for a beverage cart of low-cal pilsner.

Instead of calling for help, "I think I've got a signal on the radio" is an invite to tune in a dance station. Of course, no Bud ad is complete without the misogynist image of hotties stripping down to jump in a hot tub -- the guys behind this ad at least had the wit to create that hot tub out of a jet engine.

4. Dr. Pepper's Little Kiss of Cherry



We have to admit we're a little ashamed ranking this one so high. This commercial ranks more for what it should've been than what it was: Kiss' Gene Simmons and company touting Dr. Pepper's new "little kiss" of cherry flavor, which they demonstrated by performing with, um, little people in full Kiss makeup and regalia. Funny in concept, but in practice, as Spinal Tap might have said, they didn't turn the knobs up to 11. Still, worth a laugh.

3. The Dorito Ninja



If you got all of your information about what Americans eat from Super Bowl ads, you'd think we subsisted on nothing but Bud Light and Nacho Cheese Doritos. And you'd probably be right.

While some of the million Doritos ads last night were okay -- the dog who latches his zapping anti-bark collar onto a taunting guy was a memorable one -- for the win, we'd have to go with the Dorito-used-as-throwing-star one, in which some hairy, maladroit gym buddies are slain by a Dorito-covered, Dorito-wielding maniac. The image went by so quick we couldn't even process it -- probably a good thing.

2. Emerald Nuts/Pop Secret goes to Sea World



What's up with the weird '70s facial hair? At some point, mustaches are going to stop being ironic ad fodder and actually enter mainstream fashion again. But until then, we will enjoy laughing at them in ads like this one, last night, where a bell-bottomed trainer stands above a pool and gets his trained dolphins -- er, humans -- to jump out of a pool and do tricks for snacks, namely, almonds and popcorn.

1. Denny's Screaming Chickens



Say what you will -- ridicule us if you must. But some things defy logic. Chief among them: Cheap, animatronic chickens shrieking at the camera. Put those low-tech creatures in suits, sunglasses, astronaut outfits and locations like the Oval Office, and you've got comic gold. We might even start going to Denny's again.

We loved the company's three spots so much, we considered giving them the top three spots on the list. In name of fairness, we are treating them as one big mega-ad. Not that a free Grand Slam breakfast needs any sort of extra commercial help, but Denny's got a lot of mileage out of one blissfully stupid idea: A world of chickens, being warned that they're going to have to lay a lot of eggs to keep up with all the free meals this week.

They squawk. They bulge their eyes. They move their little beaks as if controlled by puppeteers. They probably were. It doesn't matter -- like a bizarre Conan O'Brien skit, the inept special effects just make it funnier. Bravo, Denny's!

Related: Complete Super Bowl Commercial Coverage