Andrew Hunt and I have something in common: we're both writing letters to former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
But that's where our similarities stop.
Hunt is a devout vegan who, according to Ontario's The Record, has written Palin a letter extolling the virtues of a vegan lifestyle, which is a diet devoid of any and all animal products, including cheeses and milk. The Republican Party's 2008 Vice Presidential candidate is a very public hunting enthusiast.
But wait, there's more: A professor of history at the University of Waterloo, Hunt promises cordial, weekly letters to Palin about animal rights, vegan recipes, and his experiences as an ex-carnivore.
Hunt hopes to compile these letters into a books, with the proceeds going towards animal sanctuaries in both the US and Canada.
And I wish him the best of luck. I am not a vegan. I am a Texan, and Hunt lives in a part of the world I call "Snow Mexico" (Canada. It's like Mexico, a vast country that boarders ours, but is covered in snow.) While we both love animals, I love them with gravy. He is writing to a controversial political figure in order to amiably promote a philosophy that he passionately believes in.
I want to write Sarah Palin a letter because I want her and I to go into business. And business is good for Palin: a best-selling book, a lucrative FOX News deal, and $100,000 speaking fees.
Here's my letter:
In your book Going Rogue, you wrote the following quote, "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?"
I am writing to you, because I think a chain of patriotic restaurants inspired by your persona is exactly what this country needs, featuring an underrated ingredient that you have actually hunted. Delicious, lean, gamey moose.
Imagine: a franchise of affordable restaurants with you as their spokes-governor -- Sarah's Moose Hut! Or International House of Moose! TGIMoose?
That's right. Moose burgers. Moose stew. Moose cakes. Moose dumplings. Moose loaf. Moose kabobs. Moose casserole. Moose and potatoes. Moose lo mein. Moose tacos. The mind boggles.
It won't just be a family restaurant. It will be a Temple of Meat, where vegans will fear to tread.
Let's see who gets an answer first, Andrew.