The 5 Worst Dishes to Bring to a Party

by James Cury, Posted Dec 10th 2009 @ 2:00PM

Consider nixing the hummus. Photo: pgoyette, Flickr.

It's party season, and that means if you have any social life whatsoever, someone will be asking you to bring something to a get-together. Certain foods are obvious no-nos unless you're aiming for cheeky: anything made with aspic, blood sausage or Spam, for example. In general, you want to avoid needlessly messy, borderline unhealthy and unintentionally labor-intensive dishes, as well as ones that simply don't travel well.

The following rules apply no matter what kind of party (potluck, New Year's Eve, birthday, tailgating) or crowd (young, old, football freaks, opera fans). If you can't cook at all, bring good cheese and crackers. That's the universal crowd-pleaser.

Hummus
It seems like such a no-brainer -- who doesn't like dip at parties? But this one has a fatal flaw: garlic. All it takes is one big scoop to render your breath intolerable. Great for family get-togethers, not for swinging singles mixers. How about salsa instead?

Spinach
Savvy daters know to avoid ordering spinach on a date; green flecks never pretty up a smile. So why bring spinach salad or any spinach dish to a party? Creamed spinach, though less likely to lodge itself at gum level, just looks kinda poopy and travels poorly anyway. If you want to bring something green, consider asparagus or artichoke.

Fried Foods
Dishes like calamari, fried artichoke and French fries can be miraculously light, salty and crunchy -- but only if they're served fresh outta the fryer and still hot. Wrap them up for a trip, even a short 15-minute hike, and you have soggy, oily, cold dreck. Fried also screams "bad for you" to many folks. Bring grilled seafood or vegetables instead.
Learn how to skinny up fried fare with healthy chef Devin Alexander.

Soup
Don't even think about this four-letter word. Why? Let us count the reasons: It needs to be kept warm. It requires bowls and spoons for every eater, and that means someone later has to wash these items or, worse, you're using environmentally insensitive disposable dishware. Plus, there's no easy way to taste just a little. And folks will inevitably ask, "What kind of soup is it?" Are you going to label the pot or stand there and explain it to passersby?

Cabernet Sauvignon
Cab Sauv is phenomenally popular and delicious, but it's also typically full-bodied and loaded with tannins -- the stuff that makes you pucker. You will almost certainly overwhelm party goers' taste buds with this wine, and thus miss out on the true flavors of many of the dishes served. Don't gamble unless you know that there will be bold meaty foods (like steak or lamb) that can stand up to the wine. Pinot Noir is a better red bet.

James Oliver Cury is the former executive editor of Epicurious.com.

Filed Under: Holidays
Tags: appetizers, christmas, entertaining, hanukkah, holiday food, hors doeuvres, hummus, new years, party food, potluck

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Reader comments (Page 2 of 2)

12-11-2009 @3:16PM Reese said... Everyone, these comments are hilarious!

I'm also a bit surprised at the hummus-free party, but yes, it is typically safe for MOST allergies. Besides, there are going to be other foods there right, so it's not like people are eating massive amounts of garlicky hummus so the breath concerns should be alright, yes?
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12-11-2009 @4:06PM bellagrlxitalia said... i usually bring a festive dessert like pie or cookies. also antipasto salad dressing on the side.. so good.
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12-16-2009 @10:54AM Numb said... Salsa (and thereby salsa-breath) stinks *way* worse than hummus. Onions are massively fragrant.

What an absurd suggestion.

Also, on the Cab Sauv... No. If I'm going somewhere and have a bottle of it that I'm fond of, and know the hosts and/or guests are Cab Sauv fans as well, I'm definitely bringing. God forbid they enjoy a great glass of wine and miss out on a subtle bit of their tortilla chip with salsa (from the suggestion above, obviously).
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