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Generous Fruitcake. Photo: Beekman 1802.
And so it begins, the ritual insults of the gift that time forgot, the humble yet seemingly inedible confection called fruitcake.
There are gag fruitcakes like this inflatable one ("The fruitcake they'll actually want to get!") and corny fruitcake jokes -- there's even a Society for the Preservation and Protection of Fruitcake.
But when did fruitcake become the punch line to a hundred jokes (and not Borscht Belt stuff either: a Jewish friend of mine assures me that fruitcake is strictly for the goyim)?
Food historians suggest that fruitcake -- any cake in which dried fruits and nuts do battle with the batter -- is older than Moses. Ancient Egyptians entombed fruitcake, while Romans carried it into battle, probably for the same reason: Fruitcake is built to last, and did, well into medieval times.
It was in the relatively recent 18th century (yesterday in fruitcake time) that fruitcake achieved totemic status. It was then that nut-harvesting farmers collected fruits and nuts in a cakelike substance to save for the next harvest -- as a sort of good-luck charm if you will.
Well, there's your problem right there: Any cake that is not to be eaten doesn't deserve to be categorized as food. This puts fruitcake in the same category as plastic fruit and Jell-O molds, which is perhaps why giving someone a fruitcake is deemed an insult in some circles.
America's love/hate affair with fruitcake began in the early part of the 20th century when the first mail-order fruitcakes became fashionable gifts for a dispersed population. Perhaps it was meant to invoke a kind of homey nostalgia; Truman Capote waxed rhapsodic about it in "A Christmas Memory" when he recalled an aged relative, her breath smoking the windowpane, exclaiming, "Oh my! It's fruitcake weather?" Doesn't it make you want to go home?
Well, no. Somewhere along the line, fruitcake became the equivalent of the tie on Father's Day, a gift that said the giver didn't care enough to think about what to send. And like any other food, or food-like product, it was often mass-produced, using fruits barely discernible as such, and packed into cans as heavy as landmines.
Of course there are artisanal alternatives, hand-crafted by grannies and monks. Isabelle of Mondo Fruitcake began her site in defense of the foodstuff: "Since I was a little girl I've always liked fruitcake," she writes, "a specific fruitcake -- the fruitcake of the Gethsemani monks in Trappist, Ky. I've grown up with it and even now look forward to getting one as a gift from my mom every Christmas." Each year the site rates the best fruitcakes out there (with Gethsemani and Collin Street Bakery leading the pack) and you can still find gourmet recipes online. Yes, the authors of many of those recipes are no longer with us -- but the fruit (and nuts) of their labors lives on.
Sean Elder's writing has appeared in Gourmet, Food & Wine, the New York Times Magazine and numerous other publications. Visit him at seanelder.com. Editor's note - Slashfood contributor Dr. Brent Ridge makes the best artisanal fruitcake (pictured above) we've ever tasted. Buy it online at Beekman1802.com.
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12-09-2009 @11:18PM gratis cat said... As everyone has suspected, holiday fruitcakes really ARE dense enough to stop a speeding bullet. (With video.) Can a Fruitcake Stop a Bullet?
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12-19-2009 @7:35PM Mary said... And, for all of you who would like to dress up in costume and honor the fruitcake after the Christmas rush...mark you calendars for the January 23, 2010 Internationally Acclaimed Independence Fruitcake Festival. This year the theme is "Food of the Pharaohs". www.inyocounty.info
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12-13-2009 @2:14PM Dianne Buffington said... I grew up eating my mothers fruitcake. She always used candied pineapple/cherries &dates; lots of pecans and lemon extract. (I have added dried cranberries to the recipe) It is great. My 15 year old grandson just sent an email and wanted to know if I could make fruitcake and send to him. Also, my husband loves it - he never ate any until he had our family recipe. It also keeps well in the freezer.
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12-13-2009 @2:28PM Thel said... Well, I happen to like fruit cake. So there!
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12-13-2009 @2:33PM Mike said... I love fruit cake. I remember, fondly, my mother buying up the candied fruits for months when I was a child. Made it in a large metal dishpan. Soaked it with wine for weeks, and then the wonderful day came to cut it. Wonderful. This past week, I found a Claxton Fruit cake in the back of our refrig....still wraped. I opened it up, wraped it in cheese cloth soaked in wine, and can hardly wait for a few weeks to pass to cut it. Oh, it was from last year. These wonderful things have the shelf life of a rock. I Loooooooooove them.
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12-27-2009 @5:54PM joseph said... I with you on the soaking, but back in the day....instead of wine. my grandmother. used whiskey.
No wonder we have so many alcoholics in our family.......
12-13-2009 @2:35PM Darrell Elmore said... I ate fruit cake all my life and except for the candied cherries, loved them.
a slice of cake could do for a pocket lunch when working outside, or when hunting or fishing. Bad rap it gets is too bad, especially considering the folks arouind the world that would probably kill for the calories!
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12-13-2009 @2:33PM Lisa said... Homemade fruitcake is much better than store bought. I love homemade fruitcake.
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12-13-2009 @6:05PM Jim Zilch said... I feel sorry for all you fruit cake bashers out there. My sister continues the Christmas tradition from our Grandmother,She makes the best fruit cake anyone has ever tasted. It is too bad that someone somewhere along the line made-up something they called fruit cake that tasted or looked so bad that most people think they should automatically diss something that cam be so good. I am blessed th have had a Grandmother with a great recipe and a sister to carry on the tradition.
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12-13-2009 @2:43PM Ruukasu2005 said... To gratis cat, that would be a good subject for Mythbusters to test.
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12-13-2009 @2:47PM Alice said... I happen to love fruitcake, and never could understand why it was downgraded so. It's a once a year tradition in many homes..and rightly so. For the fruit cake bashers..and fruit cake toss contestants...bah humbug. Let them eat cake..fruit cake that is. try it you'll like it.
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12-13-2009 @3:11PM John F.C. Taylor said... Never could figure out why there were any fruit cake jokes. I always liked the stuff.
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12-13-2009 @3:13PM bh2vette said... Same here I love fruit cake! Yep I am Jewish and I love fruit cake!!!!! I have a recipe that I made up and it is full of nuts (brazil nuts, walnuts, pecans,cashews, hazel nuts). Dried fruit(apricots, dates, cranberries, plums) Sweetened with Simply Orange juice, a bit of dark rum (extra for the cook) All of my friends that would never look a fruit cake in the eye really do love my fruit cake. Of course I make a creamy warm rum sauce to pour over it if desired. Yep, extra Rum for the cook.
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12-25-2009 @6:20AM Michael said... I really want this recipe! Shalom.
12-15-2009 @8:22PM nctxn said... Collin Street Bakery has the best Fruitcakes anywhere. They are actually now marketing their product as Pecan cakes, because of large amounts of Texas grown pecans in them. Their bakeries are divine places for a sweet treat!!
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12-13-2009 @3:22PM Janetlee said... My Father made his own fruit cake...and it was wonderful! My aunts and uncles used to call Dad year round and ask him to make some for them. My Dad passed away in 2000...and his recipe died with him. All I know is that Dad dried his own fruit for his cake.Its a fond memory...and I so miss the smell of it baking...and Dad busy in the kitchen.
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12-13-2009 @3:26PM Louise said... When my mom makes her fruitcakes for the Holidays, she soaks them in brandy. I wish that I could bottle the smell!! It always reminds me of Christmas.
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12-13-2009 @3:29PM Ricki said... I always liked and hadeaten many a fruitcake in my life. I remember one insufferable stand-up comic making that comment many years ago on tv and then they all started making jokes about it.All it takes is one dummy to make a joke and they all fall on the bandwagon.
The same happened when Gore ran for president in 1980. One comic said he was stiff because he had good posture (something that couldn't be said for G.W.) and the next thing they had everyone laughing about him being a stiff. Let's face it they are all sheep and can't think of anything original to say.
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12-13-2009 @3:51PM Roy said... I never cared for fruitcake being raised in a traditional 60s childhood with store bought, petrified candied fruit, fruitcake. But living next to an 85 year old Irish woman in Manhattan changed my mind entirely. She baked Jamaican fruitcake with dried figs, dates, and prunes, and walnuts soaked in rum for a month. The batter was super moist and filled with coconut. She would stack a hundred of them like bricks in her window to cure and they sold like hotcakes. What's in a name? As all culinary dishes, there are good and bad and commercial cheap items always ruin a good dining concept. If my dear Bell were still alive and had a couple of fruitcakes ready for my to kill my diet for the holidays!!!!
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12-13-2009 @4:12PM solomeeo said... emma, sounds like you better stay away from the fruitcake then....now take your spam elsewhere!!!
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