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Nothing quite kills the glow you get from preparing a big feast for family and friends during the holidays like finding yourself alone in a trashed kitchen, trying to deal with the ruins while your guests slip away into the night or pass out before the television set.
"It can really sour a meal, especially if you like football and don't want to be stuck with your bitter head in the dishwasher," says New York caterer Serena Bass.
While grimacing through the holidays and hating everyone while pretending to have a heart full of good cheer may make sense to some WASPs, it's best to avoid the resentment by allocating some of the clean-up duties ahead of time. First, says Bass, know your players.
"Don't give a stranger putting-away duties, as you'll never find things again. That's your job. Get a Virgo at the dishwasher, putting things in, and someone else at the sink rinsing and scrubbing the crusty stuff.
"You'll need one or two to clear the tables -- and tell them where the dirty linens go; one or two to put the tables and chairs back where they belong; and one person to put away leftovers. Be sure to have plenty of plastic containers and Ziploc bags -- and make space in the fridge beforehand!"
The question of leftovers is a rather personal matter; one cook's detritus is another's week worth of dinners. Beth Lipton, food editor at All You magazine and author of "You Made That Dessert?" has a strict weekend rule. "The Monday after Thanksgiving the leftover period has passed," she says. "You've had your turkey sandwiches and now it becomes a food-safety issue."
Lipton suggests that you avoid kitchen trauma ahead of time by allocating some dishes to visitors, and get much of your own work out of the way early. "A well-planned meal will leave you with less chaos. Prep as you go, so at mealtime you are mostly just plating."
Almost all of your traditional sides can be done beforehand: Mashed potatoes can be made and kept in a crockpot, for instance, and even the stuffing can be made in advance, as long as you keep the wet and dry ingredients separate.
All of that preparation may well reduce the level of stress and discombobulation that follows any feast, though there is something to be said for rallying the troops to return order to the kitchen as well. A good soundtrack can put things in high gear. "My son always recommends a Souza march to get it all done with happy speed," Bass says.
Then some people actually enjoy the clean-up. My wife claims that she likes taking stock, literally, of the evening afterward. "And because we hand-wash my great-grandmother's china, I always think about her and about family Thanksgivings, and how we are continuing a tradition with our friends and family," she says.
For the record, I like a post-game show as much as the next fellow. But much depends on who's playing on TV, and what time is kickoff.
Sean Elder's writing has appeared in Gourmet, Food & Wine, the New York Times Magazine and numerous other publications. Visit him at seanelder.com.
