Why so serious, Bryan Voltaggio?
Photo: Bravo.
You can even see it in their food: Robotic big-bro Bryan and his classically flavored, cooked-to-perfection entrees; sneering bad-boy/skate-punk Michael and his crazy textures, flamboyant technique and exotic flavor profiles. It may be a few episodes too early to say it, but last night -- on the occasion of "Top Chef"'s customary restaurant wars challenge -- we finally saw the their sibling hatred in full effect.
You knew something was amiss when Bryan showed up in the common kitchen wearing a "Peace Out" T-shirt, and then, a few scenes later, snipped, "Don't be a d--k!" to his tyrant-in-the-kitchen kin. Paired up with Eli and this season's pariah, Robin, the brothers swore at each other -- and in Michael's case, the rest of the team -- enough to make the episode sound like one unbroken bleep. Whether it's all for show or not -- and at this point, we're guessing it's at least 90-percent authentic -- it makes for great TV. If this doesn't win Padma another Emmy, we don't know what will.
This much is for sure: The brothers carried their team's mock-restaurant, the unfortunately named "Revolt" -- "Are they like, things that contradict each other?" one quizzical diner asked -- to a smashing win. To hear the judges say it, it was the best restaurant wars showing in the history of "Top Chef," a point not lost on Michael, who won the challenge and heartily took credit for it, even if he gave passing props (and cash!) to his team. Who can blame him? His pressed-chicken and calamari "pasta" appetizer looked like a modern-art miniature, and his cod in mussel sauce was described repeatedly as "melt-in-your-mouth."
The episode also offered the teary eyed indignity of failure to two of its most promising wunderkinds, Kevin and Jen. Maybe it was just a case of two master chefs taking on the brunt of too much work, but seeing them reprimanded in the loser's circle was kind of like watching straight-A students getting their first "C" -- a squirm-inducing moment stuck on an infinite loop.
Jen berated herself over her "broken" butter sauce and trout. Kevin shuddered at the thought of his "Jell-O"-rare rack of lamb. But neither could compare to the tears shed when Laurine, who took on the duty of shell-shocked hostess, was let go -- claiming she'd never compete in anything again.
Meanwhile, if Michael's confrontation with Robin over dessert was any indication -- ironic he'd be the one screaming at her to "relax, relax, relax, reeeee-lax!" -- future episodes should only reveal more animosity between him and his sibling nemesis. "I'm tired of his unprofessional behavior being rewarded," Bryan decreed at the end of the episode. Something tells us this won't be the last time.














