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What Can I Get You Folks? - Where Your Server Went

Photo: David Sifry, Flickr.
Just like heroic epics and Hollywood romances, server horror stories tend to unfold according to a very specific formula: Server meets guests. Guests like server. Server takes order. Server disappears.

While servers who spill coffee on their guests or forget to bring an extra fork are generally forgiven, there's no redemption for servers who vanish. Without their server in sight, guests feel neglected, trapped and exasperated by the entire eating-out experience. It's a rotten situation, which is why most diners who've posted here about terrible service have admitted to at some point wondering where their server went.

Assuming that question is sometimes posed sincerely, I offer here a few solutions to the Case of the Missing Server. Note that these explanations aren't excuses: Great servers don't go AWOL, ever. But there are many rational reasons, unapparent to guests, why servers can't be found. He or she just might be ...

1. Splitting checks. Here's one task that's become more laborious with the advent of computers. To prevent employee theft, most electronic point-of-sale systems are designed to make shifting guest tabs a tricky, multi-step process. Woe to the server who accidentally sticks Seat 3's fried wonton app on Seat 4's bill: On some popular systems, such an error can only be corrected by recombining the entire check and starting over. Creating six separate checks -- and gathering up six pens for signing them -- can take a server off the floor for up to five minutes (which, to a guest waiting for an iced tea refill, feels like an hour).


2. Restocking inventory. Since restaurant owners can't make money where they can't seat guests, wait stations are often too small to hold everything a restaurant needs for a busy evening. No matter how much prep servers do, they inevitably run out of ice, napkins or lemons a few turns in -- and are forced to make the trek to a far-off basement or locked closet to replenish them.

3. Waiting on the bartender. Only the most permissive restaurant managers allow servers to pour their tables' drinks, which means they have to wait patiently at a service bar while the barkeep hooks up a new keg or makes a run to the wine cellar.

4. Cleaning up. If the front of the house is bustling, the back of the house is assuredly hectic. Rushed servers and bussers often stack dirty dishes haphazardly in the dish room -- and then they to deal with the mess when the dishes topple to the ground. As most servers have discovered, there's no quick way to locate a mop, safely dispose of sharp-edged shards of broken plates and set up a "caution" sign so fellow staffers don't slip on the sauced and buttered floor.

5. Chatting with customers. Servers who gab with guests about the weather while you're waiting for your check deserve the penny you're tempted to leave them. But it's often the guests who initiate the conversation, insisting that their servers not budge til they've told them about every dish on the menu. Other guests demand a server stand by their side while they make up their minds, or fuss if a server discreetly steps away when it becomes clear they have no intention of interrupting their discussion to acknowledge him. These self-absorbed guests never seem to realize just whose time they're wasting.

Fellow servers, is this list complete? What else detains you behind the scenes? Tell us in the comments below.

Filed Under: Chefs & Restaurants, Restaurants
Tags: featured, hannaraskin, restaurant etiquette, RestaurantEtiquette, restaurants, waitress

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Reader comments (Page 1 of 1)

jsteinberg

9-30-2009 @4:48PM jsteinberg said... I'm pretty sure they're usually out back smoking
Reply

Tom

9-30-2009 @5:15PM Tom said... At one restaurant I worked at the servers actually plated all the desserts. Depending on what the dessert what was, how many, etc it could take us off the floor for around 5 minutes. At another restaurant, we had awful plumbing and on some busy weekends we would find ourselves plunging toilets and scrubbing up any messes.
Reply

monica

9-30-2009 @10:37PM monica said... Telephone orders. Also, orders with severals modifications and special instructions. Sometimes I'll go weeks without a mod and then all of a sudden in one evening, every second table seems to need something special.
Reply

C.S.

9-30-2009 @7:21PM C.S. said... Is it just me, or are most of these no excuse for a server not coming around to the table if only just to say why they're delayed?
Reply

Nose Buddy

9-30-2009 @8:16PM Nose Buddy said... I beg to differ. On one occassion we were "treated" to 4 different servers -- 3 of which decided they didn't have to/want to/need to work on a holiday that the restaurant was open. They just up and walked out between seating us, getting our beverages, and picking up at the Kitchen. So sorry for them; we tipped the last server extrememly above and beyond for hanging in there. We all have worked impossible hours on impossible days for impossible employers, and are appreciative when they are open and ready to serve us. It's when I approach a restaurant and 4 employees are taking an openly visible smoke break that kill me. And don't ask if they wash up after they return. You know that answer.
Reply

LinC

10-01-2009 @9:09AM LinC said... We were seated at one restaurant (early dinner hour) and Anthony greeted us and took our drinks order. About 15 minutes later -- as we were discussing leaving to go to another restaurant -- a waitress showed up. She asked, in a worried voice, "Have you seen Anthony?" We explained, none too nicely, about never getting our drinks. She took care of us immediately.

Later we found out, Anthony had gone into the kitchen, quit his job and left. But that hadn't been clearly communicated to the manager on duty until Anthony's tables rose in open rebellion. We were eventually fed and rewarded our waitress for rescuing us.

And then there was the time our waiter and one of the cooks got into a knife fight in the alley...
Reply

Jesse

10-01-2009 @10:45AM Jesse said... Oh please, if it takes you FIVE MINUTES to split a check, you're a complete fool. I've used many different POS systems, and it never takes more than maybe two minutes max to split a table of 10.
Reply

amylynn1022

10-02-2009 @3:03PM amylynn1022 said... As a customer, I feel for servers asked to split checks for large groups. Can we as customers do them a favor and try to do own math occasionally? Or have we gone so truly cashless that everyone is paying with a card?
Reply

Bernie B

10-01-2009 @11:18PM Bernie B said... I've never had a problem with a server asking before taking orders whether or not the checks are together or separate. Saves a lot of time when you're trying to cash out later.
Reply

Uncontrol

10-04-2009 @5:27PM Uncontrol said... I was at a sushi restaurant with two friends of mine last night, the service was absolutely awful and we'd decided not to tip because of it. I was already at the door, but apparently the waiter came up to them, said "tipping isn't included" and stood there until they put down change.

I know this doesn't directly relate to the article, but I was absolutely shocked by it and this seems like the most relevant place to share it. I wanted to go back and complain, but my friends wouldn't let me.
Reply

LD

10-05-2009 @11:52AM LD said... That list just about covers it!
Not all restaurants (esp small family owned) have Computer systems, so sep checks is done on a CALCULATOR.
You have one server answering the phone, making the salads, desserts, drinks, AND separating (TWO women's!!!) check, and at the same time returning to that other table that STILL hasn't decided what to order....for the third time!

Life in a small restaurant. sigh.
Reply

Bertha

10-05-2009 @10:51AM Bertha said... True..i can split a check in no time...if seat 1 has seat 5's soda...you reassign the seat..no big issue. BUT......when you have 10 seperate checks...or god forbid 20 of them...and have to settle each one out seperately, and then(gulp), they all decide to pay with cash...and you have to run around and get change for each of them....you could be settling checks for 10 minutes!! That is when you need to ask another server or the manager to check on your other tables!!
Reply

Susan

10-12-2009 @8:35PM Susan said... If I am not at a table, taking care of my guests, I am usually running around looking for a manager!!! Also, on the separate check issue, I recently had a table with 6 separate checks who REFUSED to pay all at once, each paid one at a time! It took, literally, 6 times as much time as usual. Also, if you are a guest and request separate checks, paying with a credit card or exact change will expedite your service!
Reply

ninja

10-13-2009 @4:59AM ninja said... you can speed things up at the end of your meal, by requesting sepperate checks when ordering. if that is forgotten or decided after ordering, expect some delays and inform server, as soon as that situation arises.I find that family run places tend to give better service. there for i tend to frequent those places more often.


Reply

Sam

10-13-2009 @9:57AM Sam said... I have one more thing to add- wine. In the restaurant where I worked, not only did you have to go down to the cellar for expensive wines, but if it was a red we had to decant it over a candle flame. Plus all the tasting, presenting the bottle, etc etc. It could take about ten minutes just to open and serve one bottle!
Reply

maria

10-21-2009 @10:45AM maria said... Unfortunately, I've been a server for five years at a family casual dining restaurant. The list above is pretty accurate, but we also have to answer phones, whether we're busy or not. This may be as simple as taking reservations, but most of the time it's a guest wishing to place a togo order. Not only do you have to patiently listen and enter their order, but there has been more than one occasion where the customer asks you to list the ingredients in EVERY salad or burger because they don't have a menu handy. I've been stuck on the phone for a good 10 minutes due to togo orders. Also, on a busy night, managers often force us to run food out to tables, whether or not it's ours. This entails waiting for the food to be ready, passing it out, and then fetching any other requests that someone else's table has. of course there are times when your server is probably just dawdling or simply sucks at their job. But more often than not it's other aspects of the job that keep us away.
Reply

Cheryl K

10-21-2009 @12:21PM Cheryl K said... Even if they are out back smoking you need to keep in mind that restaurant workers do not get "lunch breaks" so maybe we slip in a few bites of food or a cigarette during our 8-12 hour shift. I'm a hostess and try to watch the tables for the servers who might need to smoke a cigarette because the last table was especially needy and left $2 on a $35 dollar check!
Reply

Tsu

10-21-2009 @1:25PM Tsu said... While I'm working, the number one reason I "disappear" is because a guest orders a complicated appetizer that has to be made at their table.

The server has to spend time collecting the ingredients, the cart, the dishes to serve it on, etc., then actually MAKE the thing, usually on a busy Friday night while their other three tables scream about how they're being ignored.

As a guest, it's usually a good rule of thumb to not order complicated made-at-table desserts or appetizers during obviously-busy shifts. Your order will be made hastily and throw your server off their routine.
Reply

18 Comments / 1 Pages

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