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| Photo: stopnlook, flickr |
Like most servers, I've been pressed into host duty when an employee hasn't shown up (or showed up too hungover to accurately monitor the seating chart -- hostesses are almost always the youngest, most inexperienced and least committed members of a restaurant's crew.) Hostesses have it hard.
Hostesses have to deal with customers at their hungriest, thirstiest, worst. It's not uncommon for customers who feel they haven't been seated quickly enough to hurl insults at the hostess or subject her to stem-winding rants about the crooked nature of the restaurant industry.
But here's what patrons never, ever do: In my experience manning the host stands at restaurants so ritzy that my job description included turning away male guests without jackets and in eateries so casual that "please wait to be seated" signs were dismissed as snobbish affectations, nobody once offered me a bribe.
Even though the question most frequently grumbled in the vicinity of a host stand is "What do I have to do to get a table around here?," a startlingly small percentage of restaurant goers reach for their wallets when asking it. I'm sure there are some old-school restaurants where a culture of bribery prevails, but the vast majority of restaurant goers apparently reject the practice as too undemocratic -- or too expensive.
The gambit typically employed by conniving guests bent on jumping the line is fictitious namedropping ("Oh, is John here tonight?"), a ruse almost always revealed by the guest's red-faced wife -- and by the nonexistence of John. A $5 bill, on the other hand, would likely guarantee a little wait-list tampering from an underpaid hostess, who has no more allegiance to "Garber, party of four" than you do.
What do you think? Should restaurant goers have to resort to bribery to secure a table in a timely fashion? Why have bribes fallen out of favor?
| Yes | |
|---|---|
| No |
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9-22-2009 @5:44PM Sarah said... Tis' better to have reservations, be polite and firm. As for bribery? It isn't a night club!
No one I know does it and honestly it comes across as a Hollywood plot - where the wealthy codger shoves a few bills into the maitre de's pocket to get service.
A busy restaurant is just that, busy. You get in the cue and wait for your turn. Or you go elsewhere.
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9-22-2009 @5:55PM amanda said... Wow, that's a mighty confrontational opening paragraph you wrote there. Enjoy the onslaught of disgruntled responses.
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9-22-2009 @6:45PM Chris said... Its not really fair, but it works if you are desperate!
In case you were curious, the key to bribing is just to not mention it whatsoever. Walk into a busy restaurant, put your name down with the hostess like everybody else, and leave a $20 on the stand as you leave. Don't reach for your wallet, have the money in your hand. Don't look at the money and don't make weird remarks. Just go sit and wait your turn to be called. It'll happen quickly.
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9-22-2009 @7:17PM Devon said... This is especially critical if you show up to a restaurant with a large group without a reservation. You can bet that the host or hostess will keep an eye out for two tables they can put together if you've already made it worth his or her while. Of course, this rule only applies if your time is actually worth the $20 in the first place.
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9-22-2009 @10:04PM Ronbo said... I've filled in as the doorman at a sports bar, and made a couple of hundred from people who wanted to jump the line. I've had someone get abusive, and I've made fun of them, and other people in line tip me five or ten bucks just for the entertainment value. I'v also turned down a hundred dollars from someone to skip the line because they were jerks.
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9-22-2009 @11:46PM Alex said... Wow. Just when I thought you couldn't possibly become any more unprofessional, you slammed your readers in the first paragraph and your hostesses in the second. No wonder you have problem with grumpy customers and bad tippers. Do you think your customers are too dumb to recognize your contempt and air of superiority?
I would say you should get a job in another field, but given how miserable you seem to be in your current field, I'm guessing you tried and that didn't work out.
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9-23-2009 @8:53AM Gary said... Seriously Hanna, get out of the restaurant business already. You obviously hate it to be ranting about it every week.
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9-23-2009 @9:32AM Dave said... Well, it's official, this is the last time I'll read anything Hanna writes. Good luck working in a job you hate, serving people you have contempt for.
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9-23-2009 @10:18AM sue said... Wow, some readers sure are sensitive...
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9-23-2009 @11:30AM JustaTech said... Hanna, I have to say you're brilliant. While everyone's comments *say* they don't like what you write, everyone comments, so they must read it! I hope Slashfood is paying you by the view!
I don't really see the point in bribing the hostess, since she can't make the patrons already in the restaurant eat any faster.
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9-23-2009 @12:55PM Joe said... It is high time that the Host is recognized as the most important person when a Restaurant goes into a wait. The onslaught of Casual Theme restaurants with their policies of customer service have done much to cause the demise of the industry. The customer, should always come first, but the customer who is curteous enough to make a reservation, is the customer I would like to see come first.The flow of customers should be smooth if everyone does their job. One BIG problem is that most restaurants use historical customer counts. A 300 seat restaurant that only filled 50% of its seating on that date prior will not have the staff to seat customers where they want to sit. "Why can't we sit there" Instead of admitting that it is a staffing problem the host/hostess will accomadate the guest and disrupt the flow of traffic. Which can impead the regular flow of service. Even though the Brace-face teen seating you may look like He/She does not know how to seat you follow their instruction and your service will be as usual.
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9-23-2009 @2:18PM Frank said... I haven't, but always wanted to, especially if I end up at some chain restaurant with no reservations where the line is disproportionately long in relation to the food offered. (Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Claim Jumper, etc. How are these place so GD popular?)
I mean even $5 for some Olive Garden hostess should get my name to the top of the list, right?
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9-23-2009 @3:33PM Sara said... Working as a hostess for many years when I was younger, only ONE person actually gave me money to push them to the top and well it worked. $20 in the hand shake, if he hadn't he would have waited 2+ hours on the wait list. Granted this was NYC, but I was surprised when he did, but more than happy to assist him. IF you want a seat do it!
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9-23-2009 @11:23PM Megan said... "Many of you honestly believe restaurant servers have a cushy job that requires them to do little more than deliver food to a table and collect $180 an hour for their trouble."
Hanna, you are so off base and out of touch. Most of us here have worked in restaurants. Also, I'd love to know what restaurants you've worked at, because the hostesses I've known were far from being "least committed members." If anything, I'd say you fit that description better than any hostess I've known.
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9-24-2009 @4:29PM Nanette said... Bruce Feiler wrote pretty amusingly about trying to slip maitre d's a few bills in Gourmet, a few years back. Apparently there are a few takers:
http://www.gourmet.com/magazine/2000s/2000/10/pocketful
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9-30-2009 @12:43AM Dylan said... Should diners have to resort to bribery? No.
Why has it fallen out of favour? Perhaps because people aren't comfortable doing it because it's, y'know, unethical and illegal?
As for accepting bribes and then manipulating seating? That's even worse.
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