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Granted, restaurants aren't always designed to make it easy for guests to grab their servers' attention: Eateries tend to be noisy, dark places in which it's sometimes impossible to communicate with the person seated directly across from you, let alone the staffer who's scurrying forward and back with tall stacks of plates.
Customers often resort to the most primitive methods of expression: They snap their fingers. They wave their arms like football referees. They pantomime signing a check, often adding such enthusiastic flourishes to their imagined John Hancocks that they nearly strike someone at a neighboring table.
Other than cab drivers and baseball pitchers, I can't think of too many other workers who are expected to respond to hand gestures. While I've often felt like raising my hand for service when the supermarket cashier heading my line is taking too long or wiggling my fingers at hotel clerks who are on the phone when I arrive to check in, those non-verbal signals would culturally be considered out-of-bounds.
As a server who's been the target of countless finger snaps, I suspect some guests take a strange feudal pleasure in engaging in such behavior, even though they could achieve the same results with a knowing glance and a nod.
What do you think? Should gesturing be the lingua franca of the restaurant biz? Should servers take offense when their customers snap their fingers at them?
| Sure, so long as the gesture isn't vulgar | |
|---|---|
| No, it's never appropriate | |
| Something else (tell us more in comments) |
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9-17-2009 @8:10AM Jen said... As a former server, I was horrified while dining out with my father who, once finished with his coffee, put his cup upside down on the table..not only is this just gross...the utmost rudness of this! He did not wait a few minutes to try and get our waitress' attention, he promptly put the mug upside down. I asked him why he did this and he told me that it gets him his coffee quickly. I have also seen him hold his empty mug upside down in the air in which I want to ask my server to please spit ONLY in his food? I suggest to you rude diners out there, watch the movie, "Waiting" and remember..don't mess with people who deal with your food. A check signing motion, and small wave, an excuse me, all small gestures to catch the attention are good. Upside down mugs, snapping the fingers (server, not a dog) and out right rudeness will get you the worst service and by that time we already know you are not happy and the tip is out the window. I gave a server once a penny tip because while I was big and pg with my husband, the server flirted shamelessly with my husband, with me sitting there. She never even once looked at me, she asked my husband "what does SHE want?" Never gave a penny tip before or after..don't believe in it but seriously? She did all but climb in his lap.
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9-17-2009 @8:22AM jill said... How about being whistled at? I wait tables in a small one room cafe and am quite able to see each table and with a fast paced environment I am constantly on the move checking with each table. One constant customer will wait until I am across the dining room and whistle for another cup of coffee when I have in fact just topped his cup off. Upon returning to his table I invariably find his cup less than half empty. Power trip. Small man syndrome for sure, but since he is my job security I will smile and fill it up.
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9-17-2009 @9:10AM bgs said... Two of my children have watied tables part time in the summers and during college. They wouldn't mind the small hand up or writing in the sky for check but wouldn't want someone to snap their fingers at them. What I don't understand is rude waiters. If you don't like your job or you are angry at a girlfrind/boyfriend or other table, don't take it out of me. There are just some people who should not wait tables. Regardless of service you are supposed to tip them. Why is someone who has been rude, ignored you and got your order wrong, entitled to a tip? 15% is what you are going to get and I reluctantly give you that. I don't think it's a "hard" job, I think it's a job for people with patience. The money is pretty good but you do have to put up with a lot. My children couldn't wait to quit.
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9-17-2009 @9:09AM Michael said... As for being in the restaurant business for 15 years as Night Manager, head bartender, all at very nice Night Clubs in D. C., I can tell you that finger snapping is not tolerated, impling that you are subservant, and it DOES happen. Also whistling, which we take as fetching a dog, is not tolerated. I have ingnored people when bartending, when whistled at. Also when trying to gesture your servant, eye contact is key, and the hand check signing is very appropoe. If you are not able to get your waiter when needed, instead of waving, simply say "WAITER" in a semi loud voice, when your waiter is near. They should acknowlege you. If they cant hear you, say it to another waiter in close distance and tell them you need "YOUR WAITER", or can they get you what you want. Poor service is nothing to get upset about, and If the manager is doing there job, you should be helped, if not, poor service should always be reflected in the tip, and worst case scenerio, just don't go back. No reason to get bad service and have to pay for it, there are alot of good restaureants out there, Hope this helps .. One more tip, if I do not get my ketchup when asked for or cant find the waiter, don't be shy and let your food get cold. Get up and get some, but everytime I have to move, it costs in the tip. For the last one, if you are in a hurry or the restaurant is crowded, save yourself some aggrevation, and when you have finshed ordering all that you are going to have, ask for the check and promptly pay. This way you are not sitting for 15 minutes waiting for your check after your meal. I could go on about different ways in how bad service can happen, but that's another lesson ..
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9-17-2009 @9:17AM Coop said... About 99.9% of the time at a restaurant with actual servers, the server tells you their name as soon as they walk up to your table. Why not just use that? Your server's name, spoken at the appropriate volume, would probably be more effective at getting your server's attention than anything else.
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9-17-2009 @9:32AM Wanda Kerr said... A waiter friend of mine had a customer take thier index finger and gesture him to come, obviously my friend had missed the finger wag, and the customer said I've been trying to get you to come for a few minutes, my friend leaned in close to him and in a low voice said "It takes more than one finger to make me come, sir" I never laughed so hard.
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9-17-2009 @9:51AM Beth said... We just encountered the same thing at Bubba Gump's in Chicago last week, and we LOVE it! Wish all restaurants had something like this (well, not the upscale ones, that would be tacky...).
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9-17-2009 @10:46AM Deemo said... To all of you waiters and aspiring waiters. Just a word of advise. TIP means "to insure Promptness". First of all dont assume that you are going to get a great tip if you do not take care of me. Next you dont have to ask me a thousand times if I'm ok. Just pay attention to my table, use common sense. And oh yes, do not interupt me to ask me if everything is ok. If I am in the middle of a conversation, I probably do not need you to refill my glass. Dont try to keep my order in your head if you have a crappy memory. NOthing is more irritating that a smart alick waiter who does not write things down, and then gets the order wrong. Remember if your service is bad it will be reflecting in your tip.
I once ate in a restaurant, and the waitress was terrble. I gave her many many chances, it was my aniversary and my wife was going crazy. We would literally wait 30 minutes for a drink, and I would finally have to get up (3 times)to go and find her or someone else to find her. I was going to leave her a 10% tip when I normally leave between 15 t0 20%. My wife was so miserable after our almost two hour dinner, the she insisted we leave a penny. AS we got about 30 feet outside the restaurant door, the girl comes running out the door and throws the penny and it hits me in the back. Needless to say I was so shocked, I did not know what to say. I walked to my car. Never to return to that restaurant. Point of story. Just because you work at a high priced restaurant, does not mean you are going to get a great tip, if you do not provide good service. This was the most misserable dining experience of my life. Well worth the penny that I left behind to prove my point. Hope she learned from it.
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9-17-2009 @10:48AM Deemo said... Did not proof before I sent, sorry for all of the mispelled words. Wow. I need spell check on here.
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9-17-2009 @10:54AM GW said... It would help if the server would at least glance at the table or make I contact. It dosn't help when they walk pass and look the other way
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9-17-2009 @11:31AM Pat said... As a server with 25 years experience, I would be mortified if my customer had to resort to waving their arms or snapping their fingers to get the attention they deserve. No server should so much as walk through the room without specifically looking at every table, customer, dinner plate and glass to see if there is anything required to make that guest comfortable - whether it is their service responsibility or not. Make sure every guest has excellent service and the quality of the restaurant increases, along with your recompense. Unfortunately, pride of service seems to have suffered in several occupations over the years, not just restaurants. Employers need to cull the poor performers. Employees need to aspire to higher goals. Good customers (happy ones that give repeat business) are attained by competent, efficient, pleasant service. Servers should strive to attain the goal! No amount of arm waving or finger snapping will assuage deplorable service. Guests should seek out the manager and advise them of the issue(s). Return to the restaurant ONE time after that to see if it has been corrected and, if not, NEVER return. A well-managed restaurant focused on guest comfort and service will have corrected the problem. There are plenty of places where you can get the food you want, at the price you want, with the service you deserve. Give them your business...and say "Hi" to the friendly server you meet there...it could be me!
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9-17-2009 @6:43PM NA said... A smart restaurant owner will someday place a small light above each table (perhaps hanging from the ceiling) and a button on the corner of each table. Whenever service is needed, the customer presses the button, turning on the small light above the appropriate table. The server then knows that table is requesting service. The server then presses the button on his arrival, shutting off the light.
Does this sound at all familiar? It's exactly how flight attendants have been summoned by passengers for the last 50+ years. With today's technology, the whole thing could be done without wires, relatively cheaply. No more hand waving, etc.; just a discrete little light and maybe a note attached to the inside of the menu describing the process.
If a server does not then respond, call the restaurant on your cell phone and ask to speak to the manager, citing the location of your table and describing (or naming) your laggard server. Ask the manager to come to your table. The server won't be laggard any more, if he/she wants to keep the job.
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9-22-2009 @7:16PM Doc said... Your feelings are hurt when I raise my hand to signal you? Maybe if you weren't standing behind the bar chatting with the other servers and paid attention to your customers we wouldn't have to wave at you like a navy semaphore operator. Maybe you need a new career. Otherwise, man up. It's part of the job.
"You don't like your job? There's a self help group for that. It's called "Life" and they meet at the bar."
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10-20-2009 @2:47PM luv2play47 said... I have had bad and good servers, you adjust their tip, I don't worry about it or get upset. On the other side, I've had customers who have knocked, knocked on the counter to get your attention, when you turn away from the customer you are trying to help and look at them and they say I just wanted ?????whatever, I say you have to wait till I'm thru with this customer and I have remarked some people think they are the only ones that need help or who count. This is in a retail establishment. Snow birds are absolutely the worse, they actually think we have waited all summer just for them.
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10-20-2009 @3:10PM squeakamp said... Raise your hand if you need to. Dont whistle, I am not a dog. Also, don't touch me to get my attention. If you cant touch a stripper why would you think you can touch a server?
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10-21-2009 @10:22AM lisa said... all of you people here complaining about servers--try it for one day. We have to deal with people like you for 8 hours a day and still smile.
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11-18-2009 @10:58AM bbj said... I have used the signature-on-the-palm gesture all over the world and I never have had any sign that any restaurant staff person thought it was rude. Mostly the return gesture is a nod and a smile. Other than lifting a glass to indicate I'd like a refill or the circular motion around the glasses to ask for another round of drinks, I try to use eye contact and a smile to ask for the waiter's attention.
Waiting tables in a restaurant is difficult, skilled work...having customers with an inflated sense of entitlement treating wait-staff arrogantly must be awful. We all need to treat each other humanely and kindly...no snapping fingers, no abrupt beckoning gestures, and always say please and thank you.
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4-05-2010 @11:54AM Elizabeth said... Why do peopole walk up to the bar when I am clearly busy and expect priority service? I am waiting on other people. I can see that you require service, but others came first and I will wait on them first. (Unless you are a regular good tipper, in which case you should have never needed to gesture for service (although in my experience, good tippers are patient folks and rarely gesture for service).) I have never had anyone snap their fingers at me, but the extravagant waves are unnecessary and not appreciated. And as I walk in your direction don't wave your hand to let me know that the person next to you at the bar needs service. I already saw them - but now I will stop to see what you need - I know you think you are being helpful but you are actually delaying their service. And if you are at the well, do not just start ordering while I am doing other things. I can hold up to three simultaneous tasks in my head (what someone ordered, what needs to go on who's tab, who I owe change), depending on their complexity. If I am at capacity, I have to ignore you or it will make me forget what I am already doing.
That said, I love my job, I love my great tippers, and I love my regulars! Waiting tables is no fun, but bartending is!
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