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Granted, restaurants aren't always designed to make it easy for guests to grab their servers' attention: Eateries tend to be noisy, dark places in which it's sometimes impossible to communicate with the person seated directly across from you, let alone the staffer who's scurrying forward and back with tall stacks of plates.
Customers often resort to the most primitive methods of expression: They snap their fingers. They wave their arms like football referees. They pantomime signing a check, often adding such enthusiastic flourishes to their imagined John Hancocks that they nearly strike someone at a neighboring table.
Other than cab drivers and baseball pitchers, I can't think of too many other workers who are expected to respond to hand gestures. While I've often felt like raising my hand for service when the supermarket cashier heading my line is taking too long or wiggling my fingers at hotel clerks who are on the phone when I arrive to check in, those non-verbal signals would culturally be considered out-of-bounds.
As a server who's been the target of countless finger snaps, I suspect some guests take a strange feudal pleasure in engaging in such behavior, even though they could achieve the same results with a knowing glance and a nod.
What do you think? Should gesturing be the lingua franca of the restaurant biz? Should servers take offense when their customers snap their fingers at them?
| Sure, so long as the gesture isn't vulgar | |
|---|---|
| No, it's never appropriate | |
| Something else (tell us more in comments) |
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9-15-2009 @11:34AM ESC said... I don't snap. But I will make eye contact and hold my hand up - not raised, but just maybe at shoulder level. I don't need to alert the entire restaurant that I'm signaling to my waiter!
When I was in Charleston for a family vacation a couple weeks ago, we ended up eating at Bubba Gump's (not my first choice BUT family, whaddayagonnado?) They had this license plate flip thing on the table with two license plates on it - one said "run forest run" and the other "stop forest stop".
I'll pause here for hilarious laughter.
ANYWAY, when you needed something from your waiter, you flipped it to say "stop forest stop." Though corny, it was very effective. I can't see this taking off in fancy places, but maybe a little red flag on the table that you raise to indicate you need assistance would work in a lot of casual dining places.
OR you can do a subtle hand raise and make eye contact like a normal person ;)
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9-15-2009 @11:46AM Leigh said... As a server, I have no problem with the "air check signature" or a wave, but usually your server (me) should be around enough and looking for cues from the table that something might be needed - especially the final check.
Snapping is just rude and inexcusable. Tempting as it may be to ignore the table for the rest of the night, the one time it happened to me I told my guest that I respond to my name and gave my best "I mean business" look. Works like a charm without getting confrontational.
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9-15-2009 @12:09PM Meredith said... The key is to get your server's attention without getting the attention of the entire restaurant. Discreet gestures or the occasional "excuse me" when the server is close by but looking the wrong way save diners from having to stand on the table waving like we're landing a plane or hollering across the dining room that need another fork. When I waited tables I was especially a fan of the "check please" scribble because it conveyed quickly and silently what was wanted, saving me the precious extra steps to go over to the table and inquire.
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9-15-2009 @12:18PM Lorenzo said... Granted that some customers may be rude in their use of gestures. That being said, there even being a conversation about it (as opposed to just complaining about rude customers) indicates that we don't always get our reasonable needs met through verbal requests. I start with trying to catch my server's eye. I then escalate to raising my hand, and then waving, and then finally hunting down that server or any of their coworkers. Please don't expect me to remember your name, having glanced once at a name tag, or having heard it once in a noisy environment. Some of us have problems remembering names. And knowing your name is only useful if I have to shout it across the room, which I don't think you'd appreciate.
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9-15-2009 @12:23PM LinC said... A good server can be attracted by an alert look, but that doesn't always work if a server has too many tables or isn't well trained. The write-on-the-hand gesture is very European but seems to work here too. I've had to resort to the flagging-down-the-bus gesture before. But no snapping fingers. That's just rude. A server shouldn't be offended by customer gestures in a noisy restaurant.
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9-15-2009 @12:48PM Beth said... I would prefer never to HAVE to gesture, but sometimes a server isn't checking the table often enough and I have to get their attention somehow. Making eye contact should work, right? It rarely has, in my experience. If I have been waiting for ten minutes for my server to refill a drink or bring the check, I will try to get his/her attention with a very timid wave and a smile. I've never had anyone seem to take offense.
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9-15-2009 @12:48PM doodoolemonque said... This entire post is a bit of an indictment of the writer's lack of self awareness. There is no human interaction which does not rely on some degree of body language. Servers are simply workers for whom the concept is raised to a somewhat higher degree. Unless the writer (as server) wants to give her cell phone number to her tables, what else exactly are we supposed to do to get her attention? Write a letter? This post looks like a writer with a deadline, and no idea of what to write about. "Well, no, its a stupid idea, but at least I'm submitting something."
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9-15-2009 @12:48PM Numb said... More proof that you shouldn't be in this industry Hanna: "As a server who's been the target of countless finger snaps..." I've worked for years as a server and have probably only had a handful of gestures of any type made towards me, and absolutely never a snap. If your guest has to put that much effort into getting your attention, you obviously aren't giving them enough. It's that simple.
Sadly though, it's become very apparent that Hanna submits the posts, but hasn't taken the time to read the comments, so we may as well be talking to a wall here. Ah well.
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9-15-2009 @3:18PM bonydog said... It is all about respect. If both parties respect each other and know thier roles, then there should be no feelings of disdain if a guest respectfully attempts to gain attention. I do not believe the guest should be staring down the server hoping to gain his or her attention. A simple biking "right hand turn" signal should be enough to gain the servers attention without having to disrespect your dining partner.
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9-15-2009 @1:04PM Sarah said... +1 on what Beth said! If the server is checking in on you, you won't need to do gestures. But if your table is being ignored or service is slow and we need more water, napkins, our check, etc - sure I will do the hand wave, etc. It is neither rude or out of place for the customer to do it. If I am done eating I have little desire to sit there for 30 minutes more hoping some one will do their job....
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9-15-2009 @2:15PM DanGarion said... Honestly... people snap their fingers are waiters? I've never seen such an occurrence in real life, you appear to be referencing something you see on TV instead of actual real life scenarios...
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9-15-2009 @2:38PM Alex said... "I can't think of too many other workers who are expected to respond to hand gestures."
Servers who don't respond to other cues like eye contact, empty glasses, empty plates, or food that has sat untouched for five minutes should respond to hand gestures. Though I won't use them. I'll just get up and find your manager. That is ALWAYS effective.
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9-15-2009 @3:21PM Oz said... I will try to discretely catch a waitre's eye if I need something... but a large number of wait staff I have seen over the years have perfected the art of never looking at a table so their attention cannot be gotten in any way other than something involving a large flourish. After 20 or 30 minutes of waiting for my check so I can leave, or wiating for a drink, or waiting in general... if I've been resolutely ignored the waiter is going to get a big wave (and small tip) whether they like it or not.
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9-15-2009 @6:11PM Rt said... The discussion about food servers and the pay/conditions of their craft always entertains me.
I have bad so many bad servers I may be biased. I am certain most thot they were great, but my experience did not reflect that. It is not the fault of the server if the restaurant is understaffed but that does not make my experience any more pleasant. Both the server and the business suffer.
There seems to be a sense of entitlement here. The worker bee wants money, and respect, and recognition for all the hard work. Don't we all? What makes food servers different?
I have only worked in the food industry as a busboy in my early teens. In my other jobs I have been summoned from across the room by yelling - and even an ear piercing whistle. I did not take offense, we were trying to get the job done. I think working in an old fashioned diner may make some of the more sensitive types appreciate the restaurant they are currently working for.
While hitchhiking to my busboy job I got an offer to work construction - I took it and gave notice.
I suggest you take equal responsibility for your life. If you are not happy it is not my responsibility to make you happy. If you dislike your job then get another one.
Concerning the subject of tipping, it is an aberration. Many European and Asian countries have no similar practice. It seems to have gone out after the serfdom ages. In some cases over tipping can be an insult. The entitlement people may not understand that but it is true.
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9-16-2009 @9:14PM BobRoberts said... What do you expect when your server is very obviously working at ignoring you? I know you are busy but if I need a drink or my check or whatever I expect you to be receptive to a glance or a minor gesture. Do you think I like it when I have to flag down another waiter, or maybe the manager, to get some service? I have had to leave my seat and go tap someone on the shoulder on occasion. Do you think that affects your tip?
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9-17-2009 @6:42AM dan said... people go out to be intertained,i like snaping my fingers because it gives you an innorminous sense of power for a few seconds,you sorta feel like donald trump,waiters get over it
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9-17-2009 @7:15AM Ricardo said... I simply make eye contact with a slightly raised arm. Of course, it would be nice if the server is attentive. The size of the propina might depend on that
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9-17-2009 @7:18AM Anthony said... If snaping your finger to get the attention of a waiter/server who has abandoned a table is rude, Then I am a rude person! I dine out frequently and I don't have patience for incompitant servers who never check back with their table to see if the food is ok or if they need anything like refills of there drinks or bread or condiments. There are two types of waitstaff/servers, some will check back frequently & with a smile, making sure the table has everything it needs and some take the order, bring the drinks & food and ask you need anything else? then thats the last you see of them till it's time to pay the bill. Can you guess which ones get a good tip? Just a hint folks if you ever wonder why you get lousy tips, maybe it's because you gave lousy service! I see it all the time and believe me it's very common to have the same server again and receive the same bad service. Take the hint and make the effort, It pays off in the end!
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9-17-2009 @8:22AM big johnson said... My cousin Howdy, who is from Oklahoma, just jumps up, cups his hands around his mouth and bellows, "HEY NUMB NUTS!!!"....never fails....
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9-17-2009 @7:45AM cliff corson said... I have seen a few of the "gesture" -- that being a raised hand or such when they see that you are buzy or looking around if covering a large area as well and I'm ok with those folks.
unfortunately there are a number of "finger snappers" out there that don't just target servers in restraunts but I've also seen it in the retail business as well.
It is a very sad thing to see someone do that since it is intended to not just catch the attention of the server/employee, but to also degrade them to the others in the local area as well. since if someone at another table hears multiple finger snaps they look around to see what is going on and sees who or what the person is snapping for. In most cases the person the person is snapping for may be occupied with another customer or already be on their way to help that person and that is just plain rudeness in anyones book or should be
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