Some celebrities are perfect for the food they promote -- Florence Henderson and Wesson Oil seemed made for each other like Popeye and spinach.
But not all stars are a natural match for the products they endorse. (Like that former Soviet premier who went on to do Pizza Hut ads?) Here are Slashfood's picks for the 10 Weirdest Celebrity Food Commercials of All Time.
10. Orson Welles, Findus Frozen Peas
Orson Welles, the legendary "Citizen Kane" filmmaker, recorded a famously botched series of voice-overs for the frozen-food company Findus. Known as the "Frozen Peas" recording, the great director gets increasingly irritated when trying to read ad copy for products like peas, fish sticks and hamburgers. The clip is famous among comedians and entertainment industry professionals and "Frozen Peas" has become slang for an audio blooper reel.
9. Demi Moore, JogMate Protein Drink
With her "G.I. Jane" image fresh in the audience's mind, a sweaty Demi Moore promoted a gooey vitamin drink in Japan called JogMate Protein. The gunk came in a toothpaste tube and translated ad copy calls it "the jelly drink which is convenient for carrying." However, most men watching the ad aren't looking at the tube.
8. Madonna, Shochu Ads
In 1995, Madonna -- looking like a more cheerful version of her character in the pop video "Frozen" -- recorded some TV spots for a Japanese shochu (rice brandy), in which she deftly dispatches a fearsome dragon with a Samurai sword and the one-liner "I'm pure." Which is amusing, since the Web site Japander.com -- an excellent resource for embarrassing celebrity commercials -- describes Shochu as a "nasty little distilled rice beverage suitable for mixing with almost anything and/or lighting your barbecue."
7. Brad Pitt, Pringles
It's 1989, Brad Pitt is shirtless, rocking a "Saved By The Bell" haircut and shilling ... Pringles?? Sing it with Brad: "I've got the fever! The fever reliever!"
6. Cybill Shepherd, Beef
Cybill Shepherd, at the height of her fame in 1987, signed on as a spokeswoman for American beef as part of their "real food for real people" campaign. She sexed up the hamburger by calling it "something hot and juicy and so utterly simple you can eat it with your hands. I mean, I know some people who don't eat burgers. But I'm not sure I trust them." But the campaign was only weeks old when she was quoted in Family Circle magazine saying "I've cut down on fatty foods and am trying to stay away from red meat." Although Shepherd immediately denied making the statement (blaming her publicist), her contract was not renewed. In 1987, the New York Times quoted an unhappy Texas rancher who said of Cybill: "For a million bucks, she ought to walk around with a hamburger in her mouth all the time."
5. The Flintstones, Winston Cigarettes
The first family of Bedrock, the Flintstones, have been selling chewable vitamins for more than 40 years. What's so weird about that, you ask? Well, maybe Fred and Wilma got the health bug late in life. Because before they went to work for Bayer Healthcare, they were the most famous cartoon characters to sell Winston cigarettes -- Barney Rubble, too!
4. Mikhail Gorbachev, Pizza Hut
Former Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev had some time on his hands in 1997. He'd brought down the Berlin Wall, ended communism in the USSR and dismantled his own country. So what the heckski? Why not do an ad for Pizza Hut?
3. Steven Seagal, Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt
"First energy drinks to contain Tibetan Goji Berries," the Web site says. "First energy drinks to contain Asian Cordyceps!" Also: "First energy drinks to eat away at your hair line, give you a greasy pony tail and add to the spare tire around your waist!" (OK, the Web site doesn't really say the last one.)
2. Michael J. Fox, Soda
Michael J. Fox must have had a yen for, er, yen to make this inexplicable advertisement for a Japanese tea-based soda. Perhaps he got that nervous, crooked smile on his face when the director explained exactly what he wanted the "Back to the Future" star to do? The moral of the story: Mischievous teddy-bear topiary will get you whacked by 300-pound housemaid, Michael-san!
1. Bruce Willis, Seagram's Golden Wine Coolers v. Jason Alexander, McDonald's McD.L.T.
The final spot in the Top 10 -- reserved for a "singing ad superstar" -- is a toss-up. Should it go to Bruce Willis for his soulful effort on behalf of Seagram's Golden Wine Coolers or Jason Alexander, for his singing, dancing salute to McDonald's McD.L.T.? (And is that even his voice on that terrible jingle?)
Vote below in the comments section and tell us what you think!
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