'What Would Brian Boitano Make?' - French(ish) Cooking in 30 Campy Minutes

by Michael Thomas Hastings, Posted Sep 8th 2009 @ 11:00AM

Photo: Food Network

We should've known better. You can't expect a figure skater to lay off the sparkles forever, and sure enough, our man Brian Boitano was back to his old tricks this week: goofy skits, crudely animated fantasy sequences and laughing at his own jokes.

But while his aesthetics are regressing, at least his cooking is maturing, from the fussy appetizers of the first two shows to something resembling a real meal.

The fabricated meal-making scenario this time followed an eager Brian ready to impress his handyman in order to gain acceptance into an "international dinner club" -- cue many references to the Wonder Bread-ish Brian's Italian heritage.

For the moment, we'll ignore the incongruous fantasy of a dashing, 40-something French handyman willing to whip up his mother's coq au vin recipe for a bachelor client. (And is it just us, or do the shots of Brian's spacious, garden-facing kitchen and his narrow San Francisco living quarters seem a little... lacking in continuity?)

This is, after all, "Mr. Boitano's Neighborhood," where everyone is a colorful, friendly character with a story to tell and a secret ingredient to share.

With this setup firmly established -- and even punctuated with advice from "Frenchman" Brian and "Italian" Brian, replete with mustaches and berets (groan) -- all that was left was the cooking. Our host acquitted himself fairly well, even if his attractive almond crostata seemed a little too reliant on Philly cream cheese and store-bought almond paste.

And while we should've been grossed out by the concept of his "coq au vin-guine" -- boneless, skinless chicken pieces in a red wine sauce over linguine -- truth be told, the cipollini onions and portobellos seemed to rescue it from Hamburger Helper-style banality. It might be just the thing to whip up after a long work day.

Leave it to Brian to sneak in actual, practical hints among all his campy practical jokes.

Filed Under: Television/Film
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